#menagainstrape

[shaanmkhan-blog-blog]

Shoaib Mansoor's " Hum Aisay Kyun Hain " a powerful, emotional and thought provoking documentary on Rape. Interestingly there is no Urdu word for Rape. Now it's #ZabarJinsi #MenAgainstRape #InkaarZabarjinsiSay (at Allama Iqbal Open University-Official)

[bdgarp]

I believe rape to be a primitive act of violence inflicted on another human being that should not be tolerated in any society under any condition. In addition, I would like for rape to be recognized by the international community as a Crime Against Humanity and dealt with accordingly with respects to any and all punishments as allowed by law. 

[funkyscribe]

In which I ramble on and flaunt my ignorance of the subject

In my experience, everyone has been sexually mistreated in some way in their lifetime. Everyone. Even me.

I was taught that rape is not about sex, it's about dominance. I don't know, there seems to be a lot of penetration and ejaculating going on, so there's at least some sexual aspect to it. Otherwise you could just put the victim in a headlock until they say 'uncle', thereby proving your dominance over them. Maybe it's about the level of dominance. Because you are forcefully taking a precious thing from someone, it's a higher form of dominance. It is a violent, ugly thing, regardless.

It should not be called sexual 'assault'. Assault is simply the apprehension of harm or offensive contact. Saying "I'm going to rape you" is assault. It should be called 'battery'. Battery is the actual physical contact. It is inflicting harm upon another human being. Is that ever okay? Yes. If you are defending yourself or your property, you may fight like hell to do so. It is NOT okay to attack someone because of how they're dressed, or because they were 'asking for it'. Otherwise, I'd be down at the bar right now, punching out the ignorant, inbred rednecks of the state where I live. Confederate flag belt buckle? Homophobic t-shirt? You're asking for it dude, POW! (Not to say that doesn't happen, but is it 'justified' on those grounds? No.)

It is unprovoked violence against a person, that makes it wrong just from a moral standpoint.

In my opinion, at least part of it stems from ignorance. Too many men are not taught to respect women, or people in general, for that matter. Might makes right, that's how my dad's side of the family thinks (even the women, that's why they all have black eyes). They view women as objects. Is it genetic, or is it just poor parenting? A failure of society? Probably some combination.

I tend to think less about the cool, calculated, serial rapist, and more about the opportunist. The guy who just grabs a girl. Or date-rape. Or even the guy who 'talks her into it'. Are they lesser crimes? No. Still rape.

Maybe I don't understand what the men get out of it. Do they feel sexually satisfied? Or is that rush of just having beaten the hell out of someone? Are they proud of themselves? Doesn't matter. Still rape. Still wrong on every level.

I can't think of a single justification for raping someone. Ever.

If you can't use your equipment responsibly, with respect and consideration for others, then you should have it forcibly removed.

I am a man, and I am against rape.

[confessionsofabachelor]

Men Against Rape: Kim.

Sexual assault is a crime that effects not just its victim, but everyone that person has loved or will ever love.  I have experienced the after effects of what it can do to someone long-term.  It is a haunting thing that simply does not go away.   Those people that tell women to “deal with it" and “move on" make me sick to my stomach.  Rape is the dirtiest of four letter words.  It is by far the most humiliating thing a person can go through.   The following is a story about an experience I had with someone I cared a lot about and how her past experience tore us apart. 

The first time I saw her she was with my cousin Kelli at a church trivia night function that my mother used to host every year.  I was hungover from the previous night so I had my hat riding pretty low, but I noticed her a mile away.  I went and introduced myself and chatted up my cousin for a bit, but my mind and my eyes never left Kim.  She reminded me of a young Marilyn Monroe.  She was stunning.  During the intermission there was a time when she got up and excused herself and as I saw her walking I felt beads of sweat forming on my brow.  

I stayed in contact with Kim after that event and we had amazing chemistry. She was a lawyer who also did volunteer work at a nursery. She loved babies.  She loved to hold them.  She had such a passion for life and seemed to often daydream about being a mother, having a family.  I found her fascinating.  Kim was so different.  She had a language all her own and I just constantly found myself so happy just to know her.  We had set a date to see each other again and our first date was very unorthodox.  I invited Kim to stay with me for the weekend.  Our first date was 3 days long. Friday was a little awkward because both of us didn’t know what the fuck we were doing, but by Saturday when we both woke up next to each with all of our clothes on we seemed to figure things out.  I never made a move on her, I never kissed her, I just let her and I experience things naturally and it was wonderful.   One of the best experiences I’ve ever had and I haven’t encountered anyone else who had tried a first date like that.

We saw each a few more times.  When we were finally intimate I could sense something was off with her.  There were times she would be timid and then there times she was hell bent on making sure I was satisfied and wanted approval.  I never asked, but I had a looming feeling that something bad had happened.  We become closer and closer and at one point I remember her telling me that needed to share something with me.   Unfortunately by the time she would “share" that with me it was already too late.  That next weekend I remember we were at the store shopping before going over to a friends house.  Things were perfect. We were happy.  She went shopping for her stuff, I went shopping for mine, we met in the middle of the store.  At my friend’s place she was charming and sweet and I just remember being in awe of being with her. That night it happened.  When we got home she initiated it.  Something had turned her on being control.  We were going at it when all of a sudden something changed.  It was as if she went someplace else staring off into space.  She looked at me in a strange way and I instantly stopped.  "What’s wrong?"  I asked.  She then pulled the covers up and just laid there for awhile as I held her.  We fell asleep, but later that evening I awoke to find her missing.  I was startled to find her outdoors sitting under a shade tree at 3 that next morning.  Later that day she was fine, she was happy before she left.  It would be the last time I saw her.

Two days later I get a phone call.  The person on the other end of the phone did not sound like Kim.  She told me a story about an experience she had in college.  It was horrific.  She then went on to explain that something the other night triggered the memories.  When I asked what it was she told me the only thing she remembered from her assault was that there was a ceiling fan spinning similar to mine that she tried to focus on after she knew her attacker was not going to “stop".  In between her tears she told me she wasn’t going to be able see me for awhile.  She started attending therapy for this as she had told me she had never sought help for it and it had destroyed a lot of her relationships.  Rape is truly a powerful thing if something as small as a ceiling fan spinning can trigger the most terrible event in your life.  My relationship to Kim was never the same.  Putting yourself in a moment where an event so painful was triggered is horrific all in itself.  I was never able to recover from that.  I didn’t know what to say or if I did see her again how I would be able to be intimate with her without being scared I might do something wrong.  Within two weeks of that trigger my relationship to Kim was completely destroyed.  It took me a long time to get over her.  I carried a bit of her pain with me.  I carried her secret with me.  It was a different kind of heartbreak.  Rape is a serious crime.  It really can effect a lot of different people.  I still think about Kim sometimes.  If she’s able to love.  If she’s able to be loved.  If that memory of what happened to her still lingers or if she’s found the strength to accept it and begin to heal.  I loved her, but something someone did to her completely destroyed that love.  I’m glad I could share this story with you and I hope it offers some insight to how this terrible thing can effect anyone around the victim.   Thank you.

[isemancometh]

No...

I’ve heard the age-old “No means no" line before, but is it really that simple? Even if the word “no" never comes from any human being’s mouth, there should be a choice.

Rape is a choice of someone that does not have any rights to what they are attempting to take ownership of…another person. They are taking more than just sex from this person, they stealing their dignity, humanity, self-worth, pride, and countless other attributes that make them a human being.

I’ve heard that power is the reason for rape…to hold that power over someone else. If this is true, why do rapists think they deserve that power?

They don’t deserve it just as much as the victim does not deserve the scar.