Crying = Gender??
Riddle me this: What has legs, eyes, hair on its head, wears clothes, is human, and cries? According to society… not a boy.
Today’s societal view of what constitutes gender is very alarming. There are all these rules and regulations, all these limits and expectations; people have no room to be themselves and express the true and unapologetic person whom they have learned to hide. The boundaries that society has set for “both” genders is problematic. We often hear phrases like “man up”, “boys will be boys”, “you hit like a girl”, etc. and these all carry the expectation that men are strong and build up the machista attitude. Machismo, is a very toxic and dangerous thing for men of all ages but primarily for young impressionable boys. This semester I am taking two courses that examine gender roles and as a topic that I am constantly surrounded by as a gender non-conforming individual, I have been more attentive.
A couple of days ago, as I was on the hunt for new music, I stumbled across the music video for the song “The Stigma (Boys Don’t Cry)” by the band As It Is. I was very attracted to the title, especially the parenthesized portion, because this is one of those phrases that encourage toxic masculinity. I have known As It Is for quite a few years and I expected something challenging thus, I was not disappointed at what I saw. In the video, we are introduced to an all-male classroom and to a harsh instructor, who is also male, and whose main task is to make sure that these boys are “men”. Throughout the video, he is physically, mentally, and verbally abusing these boys in the attempt to make them “strong” and make them stop showing signs of weakness especially crying. The video and the lyrics express how toxic and painful these behaviors are and encourage men to fight against these norms.
The video ends with the boys banding together to stop the instructor, and show the pride, happiness, and comfort of solidarity that banding together to fight this oppression causes. We don’t know if they win the battle, but this video is only part two of what seems to be a strong social movement. I am very excited for part three to be released and I hope it continues to defy societies expectations. I hope these videos are a wake-up call and serve as inspiration in the movement to re-define gender. Enough with all the toxic expectations! Let people be themselves and allow them to express themselves to the fullest of their being without belittling them!
