#mental central

[bpditch]

a masked stranger. i don't belong and i never have

[meerkatheart-blog]

Am I a Bad Person

He folks. I've been thinking lately, for a while actually. It's really starting to surface now. Am..am I wrong, to be so...I don't know lenient. I mean, I..i can very forgiving. People (well most people) can say/do horrible things and I have a 90% of forgiving them. People do things that 80% percent of society find horrific (being gay, being a stripper, being atheist) and I find it okay. As long as they're good people that is. People like rapists, pedophiles and stuff like that, NO! Big no, no. That's not rolling with me. Then again, they're are things in this world that I find offensive and other people thing are fine. Capitol punishment is one of them. It's juts a moral standpoint and I really don't wish to get into it right now. Please don't ask me. But this is beside the point. The real problem is, my background. I come from a strong Christian family, and I used to be proud of that. When I was little, I was so naïve. I thought being a Christian was one of the most wonderful things in the world, that God was an all loving thing. But now...I feel sick to think that I ever identified with such...evil people. Once I found DA and all the wonderful people who have helped me grow and evolve as a person, the pedestal I once put my beloved religion on came crashing down and smashed to dust. All because I saw what horrible things I was taught to think, and for a while, believed in. As for me now, I am taught from the minute I admitted that I supported people who according to my family's beloved book were scorned that I am wrong. That I shouldn't care about that, that I should help 'save' them. 'Save' them from what. But I'm babbling again. The point it, I feel misplaced in this horrible situation. I feel as if I have no right to be part of my family. But the real question is. Do you guys think I'm a bad person. Am I disgusting because I think people of different sexual orientations deserve just as many rights as straight people? Am I corrupt because I don't believe strippers or prostitutes deserve to be sexually violated? Am I undeserving of anything good in this world, because I go against many thing of my firm Christian background? Am I...Evil Because if you look at me from a Tumbler stand-point, I'm a decent person. But if you look at me, through Christian eyes, from a religious standpoint, from the eyes of a good, moral person I have a one way ticked to hell. But I will say I'd much rather go to hell in death, than make someone live it every day. Even if, it mean I'm a bad person.