#mental hotline

[mothsdeathbed]

Hello and welcome to the mental health hotline. If you are obsessive compulsive, press 1 repeatedly. If you are co-dependent, ask someone to press 2 for you. If you have multiple personalities, press 3, 4, 5, and 6. If you are paranoid, we know who you are and what you want. Stay on the line and we can trace your call. If you are delusional, press 7 and your call will be transfered to the mothership. If you are schizophrenic, listen carefully and a small voice will tell you which number to press. If you are depressive, it doesn’t matter which button you press. No one will answer you. If you are dyslexic, press 69696969. If you have a nervous disorder, please fidget with the pound key until the beep, or after the beep. Please wait for the beep. If you have short term memory loss, please try your call again later.   If you have low self esteem, hang up. All our representatives are busy.

Space Buddha, Mental Hotline

[alwaysfightforrecovery]

Space Buddah - Mental Hotline

“If you have obsessive compulsive disorder, press 1 repeatedly.

If you are co-dependent, please ask someone to press 2 for you.

If you have multiple personality syndrome, press 3, 4, 5, and 6.

If you suffer from paranoid schizophrenia, we know who you are and what you want. Stay on the line so we can trace your call.

If you are delusional, press 7 and your call will be transfered to the mothership.

If you are hearing voices, listen carefully and a small voice will tell you which number to press.

If you are manic depressive, it doesn’t matter which button you press. No one will answer anyway.

If you are dyslexic, press 96969696969696.

If you have a nervous disorder, please fidget with the pound button until a representative comes on the line.

If you have amnesia, press 8 and state your name, address, phone number, date of birth, social security number, and your mother’s and grandmother’s maiden names.

If you have post traumatic stress disorder, slowly and carefully press 911.

If you have bi-polar disorder, please leave a message after the beep. Or before the beep. Or after the beep. Please wait for the beep.

If you have short term memory loss, please try you call again in a few minutes.

If you have low self esteem, please hang up. All our representatives are busy.”

[aristandroz]

Space Buddha - Mental Hotline

[flongafack]

Space Buddha - Mental Hotline

[alleytramp]

mental hotline...space buddha