Astrology roasts: male birth chart edition
Sassiest mfs on the zodiac istg🙄🙄
• Gemini Venus men what’s it like losing the baddest most caring girl you ever met just cause you got bored & wanted to see if the grass was greener on the other side
• Libra moon men you don’t have “deep thoughts” you just like emotions that are “aesthetically pleasing” also tell your girlfriend about the 24 other women you’re flirting with ☺️
•Aries Venus/sun men do y’all ever stick to talking to one person? You know like actually enjoying the presence of one person without dropping them like a hot potato 2 days later cause they didn’t agree to sending you nudes
• Leo sun/mars men: “if you want me fight for me” vibes. You’re not the princess in the relationship babe. Also it’s okay if your partner gets more compliments on a night out than you do ❤️
• Pisces/cancer placements men: why do y’all love blaming your mistakes and cheating on the fact that you’re going through it cause your cat died? A-level gaslighters over here. They’ll cry cause they made you cry and make you feel bad for crying
• Scorpio moon men you’re not “mysterious” and “different” for knowing little facts about someone and standing alone and separate from a large crowd of people. You’re just self-obsessed and a stalker.
• Aquarius men: no I don’t wanna hear why you think Valentine’s Day is stupid because it’s “a Hallmark holiday that benefits off capitalism” and “corrupted by the government” I want you to express a single emotional thought of yours and be romantic for once 😍
• Capricorn/10H Venus men you’re not as popular and impressive as you think💗 people actually find you bossy and kind of annoying. Also stop trying to plan a marriage with me 3 days after talking
• Libra/Leo rising men y’all are the types to tell your partner to go home and change their outfit or be pissed the whole day cause they out-dressed you and have a better outfit than yours
• Taurus moon/rising men stop being mean cause you’re hungry. Also you don’t have to start a whole argument with the restaurant staff cause they forgot your side of fries
• Virgo Venus/sun/mercury men: oh no! Someone doesn’t need your help for once cause they’re actually competent on their own! What will they do now without your nitpicking and unwanted advice 😩
• Sagittarius men: y’all cheat and don’t get caught easily cause you’re busy hiding the extra women you met in all the 48 countries you’ve been to in the past 2 years. International cheaters 😍