“I haven’t lost shit.” the trial has him ON EDGE, the feeling that the whole world is against him growing by the day. is he sad about what happened to hannah? sure, but he hardly thinks hes AT FAULT. oblivious to his own awful actions - or perhaps WORSE, perhaps aware but uncaring. which would be worse? “I'm perfectly IN CONTROL, okay? the shit they're saying its- its BULLSHIT.” but he knows it isn’t, and he’s sure she knows it too. after those tapes being released, who knows what she thinks. he wants to think that she’s on HIS SIDE, wants to think that the family will stick together, but he’s already seen the way their mother avoids his gaze, the way she almost seems to hope that the trial TAKES HIM DOWN.
“mercy, come on.” trying to seem like the INNOCENT brother, tries to seem like he’s done nothing wrong and she’s being irrational. he knows that isn’t the case, knows deep down that what he did was BAD and she has every right to be against him. but he thinks he deserves his family together. or on his side at the least. but anyone keeping up with everything knows he doesn’t deserve that. “mercy, you know me. you know i’m not a BAD GUY.”