#mere writes

[lesbianjackies]

mmm can i have some requests for like. taylor swift song inspired fics? for any of the bolded ships or characters on my lists. like send me a taylor song & a character or a ship n i’ll write u a fic

mutuals: @queerdeadwizards @the-lavender-creator @ttsumii @arakhnee @staygoldwriting @saturnband @starstruckwillows @starlit-epiphany @doyouknowwhoyouare13 @freckled-fate @just-another-lovesong @juneberrie @kazoosandfannypacks @zvdvdlvr

[dionnaea]

If I Could Love You | Zeke x Reader

pairing: zeke yeager x reader

warnings: reader is magath’s daughter, smoking, angst

wc: 1.7k

a/n: kinda want to write a prequel to this? like the start of zeke and the reader’s relationship. any interest in that? also, thanks for reading!

attack on titan masterlist | general masterlist

“Welcome back, monkey man.”

The sound of your voice tumbled into Zeke’s ears, a jumble of longing, elation, and teasing all mixed into your tone. You had been waiting for him, he knew. He knew before he even stepped out onto the balcony that you were standing there, and he knew that he shouldn’t have let himself step out in the first place. Choosing the safest option on this dangerous encounter, he ignored you. But when you said his name, his head immediately turned so that his eyes could meet yours. 

He was met with a cloud of smoke, and when it cleared, your grin stared back at him, cigarette hanging from your fingers. He left his face blank, seemingly unamused by your tricks, and turned back around, taking a few steps forward until he could lean on the railing. 

You were quick, though, and twisted your body in one fluid motion so that your back was pressing against the metal railing and your feet were crossed as you placed most of your weight on one leg. Zeke was used to this by now, and didn’t spare you a glance as he himself hunched over to rest against his forearms. 

The night sky in front of him was dark, only a few stars untouched by the light pollution of the city. In the distance, he could see the beginning of the sea, a black abyss promising the unknown. He could feel your eyes on him, hear the sounds of you sucking tobacco into your lungs and blowing it back out. The heat that waved off of your body was smothering, and Zeke didn’t know if the air was getting caught in his chest because of that or the smoke. 

“Those things will kill you,” he stated. 

“Sure,” you shrugged. “But won’t just about everything?” You took another puff, lightly pushing the exhaled smoke towards Zeke. He brought his hand up and swiped it away. Annoyance played on his features, but you knew that you weren’t really bothering him. “What’s up with you?”

Your gaze was studious, and Zeke knew you were trying to gain any hint of insight from his subtle reactions. He remained stoic, repressing the downturn his lips so desperately wanted to perform. He was well aware that you’d catch him if he even attempted to lie so instead he remained silent, letting you dissect him all you wanted but knowing you would find nothing. 

“Zeke,” you sighed and for some reason it was more exasperated than disappointed. You lifted your free hand up, brushing it side to side. “I get it. You’ve been at war. You’ve seen things. You’re sad or angry or whatever the hell you are. So what? I don’t care. Stop acting like a baby and talk to me.” 

Your words, your tone, was harsh, but coming from you, Zeke knew it was gentle. He knew you meant it all in the best way possible, knew you just longed for his attention, knew all you wanted was to be with him, and that killed him. That knowledge killed him in the most delicious way. Your existence was sugar laced with poison, and still, Zeke kept consuming you like it was the last meal he’d ever eat.

Which quite possibly, it was. 

“Don’t you know how to leave a man alone?” He was fighting a smile, you could tell. 

“Absolutely not,” you replied, shifting your position so that you leaned on only one arm and your whole body faced him. His mouth had formed a small grin, but he still wasn’t looking at you, choosing the darkness rather than the light right beside him. “Zeke. Look at me?” 

There was an unspoken ‘please’ on the end of your sentence, a light desperation dancing across your tongue. He was hopeless, absolutely hopeless, Zeke lamented as he turned only his head to finally meet your stare. Your eyes were pools of liquid, a shine on them as if you were fighting off tears. But no, Zeke realized, it was the moonlight dancing off of your irises, creating shadows of your eyelashes that rested along your cheeks. 

You breathed a sigh of relief and offered the cigarette to the man, dangling it between your dainty fingers so lightly that Zeke was scared it would fall. He closed the distance between the two of you, pulling the drug into his lungs until he could breathe no more before tilting away and blowing the smoke behind him. The wind picked up in that moment, aiding the smoke’s departure but cursing Zeke as your sweet scent wafted into his nose. It filled up his head, dizzying him until he was able to breath fresh air again. 

He dared to look back down at you, and for the first time in months, truly took you in. You were wearing pajamas, the strap of your camisole loose as it rested on the curve of your shoulder. There was lace on the front, enticing his eyes to glance where they shouldn’t. Your shorts were a bit too short, and your legs looked a bit too soft. As his eyes grazed back up your figure, he was met with a soft upturn of your lips, pink and plush and begging for his own.

It was obvious, you made it obvious, that you wanted him in whichever way he would give himself to you. It had always been like this, you opening yourself up fully and gladly taking whatever pieces of himself that Zeke would give you. You had roped him into a game through sweet smiles and subtle glances, and it seemed every time he felt like he understood the rules, you changed them. You were not something to be understood, you were something to be chased, to be longed for, to be loved, and Zeke cursed himself for not being able to do all three. 

“I know what you’re thinking,” you started, dropping the cigarette and pointing at it with your bare toes. Zeke obliged your silent request, stomping it out with his boot before kicking it in between the wooden slats. “You’re thinking that you shouldn’t, that it isn’t right or that it isn’t worth it.” You bit your lip, eyebrows furrowing, and Zeke couldn’t help but like the way little wrinkles appeared along your forehead. “But I’m telling you now that it is, okay? Just… just trust me for once.” 

That was the problem, Zeke thought, he always trusted you. He put too much faith in your reassurances and let himself fall too deeply into your fantasies. Thinking about it, Zeke realized that you were exactly like the sea: something he would inevitably drown in in search for answers and a warm embrace. You were a known unknown entity, and that scared Zeke more than he could express in words. 

Remaining silent, Zeke lifted his hand, and you froze in anticipation of what he would do. Gently, he brushed his calloused fingers against your upper arm, lightly pushing your camisole strap back up so that it rested properly against your collarbone. Your body involuntarily shivered, and chillbumps dusted across your skin. You waited with held breath, his fingers resting against the curve of your neck. After a moment of reverie, Zeke brought himself back to reality and pulled away. To your surprise, he shrugged off his jacket, casting it over your shoulders and waiting until you had thread your arms through the much too long sleeves before saying anything. 

“The armband doesn’t suit you.” His words were firm, almost angry. 

The weight of the band burned into your being, but you kept your eyes locked with his. “It doesn’t suit you either.” Zeke was well aware that you were dead serious, an anomaly in your family when it came to compassion. “Is this…” You already knew the answer, you had asked a million times. “Is this about my father?” 

Zeke sighed, running a tense hand through his hair and turning away once more, resting back onto the railing. He didn’t know why you asked when you already knew the answer, but he supposed that a small part of you kept the hope that someday something would change. It wouldn’t. 

“Why?” Your volume rose. “Why? It doesn’t have to be! Why do you let it!” It wasn’t even a question at that point. It was just a statement, an indisputable fact that Zeke’s future was decided by everyone but himself. 

“Zeke.” 

He gave a noncommittal hum in response. 

“Do you think I’m an idiot?” 

He could hear the anger in your voice, the frustration, but he also heard something else. Sadness? Loneliness? 

He wasn’t given a chance to respond before you were speaking again. “I know you’re leaving. You’re going to Paradis, and you’re going to fight back against Marley, and then you’re going to die. Maybe not even in that order.” You took a deep breath in and reached out, placing a soft hand on the side of Zeke’s face and turning it until his grey eyes were forced to look into yours. He automatically leaned into your touch. “So tell me this: With how much you’ve given up in your life, why are you still choosing to give up me?” 

There was pain dancing across your face, and suddenly Zeke didn’t think those forehead wrinkles were as cute. He had underestimated you as he always did, and was once again stuck in your crosshairs, having to make the decision of trying to run or giving himself up completely. His entire being begged him to do the latter. 

Because for Zeke, you meant more than every war combined. You meant more than most everything. But you didn’t mean more than his conviction, and he was a very stubborn man. So when you asked him to stay, even offered to come with him, he had to refuse. 

That night, Zeke realized something. Until that moment when your heart shattered and your face hardened over, you had always been known. You had never changed the rules, only adapted them so that you could be with him for just a little bit longer. All you had wanted was to love him. 

And the one time you had asked him to love you back, he had said no. 

[dionnaea]

Lost and Found | Yelena x Reader

pairing: yelena x reader

warnings: upset reader, yelena is pretty awkward cause she doesn’t know what feelings are, pure fluff near the end

wc: 1.1k

a/n: ok, i hope you like this! i didn’t want to make the bad day too specific, so i instead tried to focus on the reader and yelena’s relationship + how they both deal with their feelings. yelena is a pretty complicated character, so i found it super fascinating to write her! thanks for the request!! 

request: Could you maybe write yelena x reader where yelena is comforting the reader who has a awful day. :)

attack on titan masterlist | general masterlist 

It was late. Too late to be out of the Marleyan barracks and crossing onto the section where only Paradis residents were allowed to camp, too late to be sneaking around to meet a girl, and definitely too late for the sound of your sobs to be echoing from behind your wooden door. 

Yelena was hesitant. Did she knock? Did she leave you be? She had never really had to deal with tears before. Anybody she met who had cried had soon disappeared, and salt had never stained her own cheeks. This was new territory, something she had felt would happen all day but terrified to face it. 

When she did gain the courage to lightly tap against the wood and you cracked the door open, it wasn’t the tears that made Yelena uncomfortable but the expression that marred your features. Your normally bright eyes were agitated and red, surely from rubbing away too many tears. Your soft lips were battered from worrying them between your teeth, a habit that you had had since Yelena met you. Your hair was a mess, your shirt was wrinkled, and for the first time in her life, Yelena looked away from you, wondering why exactly she felt this ache in her chest at the sight of your distress. 

Her chest always ached when she was around you, her heart skipping a second too fast, her lungs tightening when you gave her the look that meant nothing more than you were here. But now, too unnerved by your morphed features and her own reaction, Yelena’s chest was aching in pain, in distress for your wellbeing. She forced herself to look back at you, knowing you were probably hurting just as much. 

“Are you okay?” It came out a bit dry, but Yelena was just glad she managed to push the words from her lips. She realized it was a stupid question when you let out a rough laugh, but despite her stupidity, you opened the door wider, motioning for her to enter. 

To Yelena, this was more than an invitation inside. This was an invitation inside you. 

Yelena cleared her throat, still a bit uncomfortable with the whole situation as she took a seat beside you on the bed. “So… Do you… What, um…” 

This was obviously not her forte, and you laughed, a real one this time, amused at the woman’s attempt to provide comfort. Yelena raised her eyebrows, and you laughed more. “You,” a giggle, “you really don’t know what to say, do you?” 

Yelena was unamused, you could tell from the slight downturn of her lips, but she was also curious, wanting to understand just what exactly was going on. “No,” she stated, unashamed in her lack of experience with emotion. “I don’t.” Your features softened as the blonde flicked her head to the side to knock her bangs out of her eyes. “What do you want me to say?” 

“Nothing in particular,” you replied before sighing. “It‘s just been a terrible day.” The tears were welling up again, and you closed your eyes, trying to fight them off as you knew it would just make the woman more uncomfortable. “I-I just… It’s just sucked.” You bit your bottom lip, tugging it in between your teeth. Before you could do more damage to the already injured skin, a light touch grazed your lip, fingers grasping your chin delicately. Her hand was gentle, but it was giving an unspoken order and you were inclined to obey, releasing your lip into her care. 

For a moment, you stayed there, eyes closed, soaking in the feeling of her skin on yours. A tiny point of contact, but heat flooded from it, spreading through your body like a forest fire. When she brushed her thumb against your lip, you let out a small gasp, opening your eyes in surprise at the electricity that came from the motion. Her eyes were staring directly into yours, a darkness swirling in them that you would undoubtedly get lost in as soon as you made the choice to dive in. But, you thought, to be lost in someone else was the most magnificent form of confusion. 

“What… What are you doing?” You dared to speak, hoping the movement of your mouth wouldn’t make Yelena move her hand. Instead, her grip tightened. 

“I’m not… the best at this. I don’t know what the right thing to say or do is, and I don’t know how to help.” She took a breath in, her gaze steady and piercing. “But I know that when you touch me, I feel better. I know when you smile or laugh, especially if it’s me causing it,” she added that part with a mumble, “I feel better. I know that when I’m with you, I feel better. So, I hope I can do the same for you. All I want is for you to feel better.” The tears were gathering in your eyes again, and Yelena reeled back, removing her hand in case she had gone too far. 

You leaned forward without thinking, craving her skin to be connected with yours once more. “You do,” you confessed, your voice barely more than a whisper. “You do make me feel better.” You watched the way Yelena’s body relaxed, first in her eyebrows before spreading to her shoulders and all the way down to her toes. Slowly, carefully, you took her hand, threading your fingers together, her calloused palm pressing against yours. You saw the unasked question behind her irises, and you answered it. “I’m okay now.” 

“Good.” Her voice was firm, but it was obvious that she cared, relief being revealed in the way her fingers squeezed yours. “Can I… touch you more?” 

It was an innocent question, a request for affirmation that you felt the same way she did. And when you granted her permission with a nod, she was quick to act, but her motions were deliberate in their gentleness. Her free hand came up, brushing along your temple, trailing the lines of your cheekbones and the slope of your nose, gliding across your lips, before finally stopping to caress your cheek. It was tender, a side of Yelena you had never seen before but one that you definitely wanted to see again. 

The heat was back, though it never really left, and flooded your cheeks, and Yelena’s chest felt once more, filled with the gentle ache that only shows itself when a person is in love. And as you sat there gazing at her in the flicker of candlelight, you decided it was okay to be lost because you knew she would find you. 

And so, you dove into the darkness, letting it wrap you in its arms, tie a blindfold across your eyes, and pull you into the void known as love.

[dionnaea]

Promises

pairing: kenny ackerman x reader (platonic), slight levi x reader

warnings: angst, character death, mild swearing

wc: 4.4k

a/n: so, so sorry this took so long!! i decided to combine these two requests and change them up a little, so i hope that’s okay! i’m really proud of this piece, so i hope you all enjoy it, too. xx

side note: technically this is a sequel to my other fic Pot Meet Kettle but it’s not entirely necessary to read that first.

requests:

Your writing’s so good I’m cryin’... Also, I’d LOVE to see what you have in mind for Kenny and Reader’s background! 👀 Were they both underground? was Reader already in the Corps when they met?? did she learn how to punch creeps from Kenny?? Plus I’m very curious about what he meant by her fixing broken hearts!

could you do a part 2 to the pot meet kettle levi fic? i really loved it and i think it would be cool if you could write a part 2 based off the kenny vs levi scene in season 3? like maybe kenny sees the reader and he's like good to see you again and levi is like mf what idk im not creative :(( sorry if this isn't enough

attack on titan masterlist | general masterlist

After Rod Reiss had been taken down, the scouts were sent to search the ruined fields for survivors. It was unlikely that any were left, but Erwin was adamant that no soldier would be left behind. You respected him for that, and went on your way to do your job. 

As you wandered, you ran into a returning scout, someone you didn’t know the name of but were sure had been paired with the Captain for this mission. His head was down as he walked, like there was something he had seen that he shouldn’t have, and your mind began to fill with worries for Levi. Had something happened? 

Making your steps slightly heavier in the grass so that he would notice you, the man finally looked up, quickly saluting to his superior. You brushed him off, instead getting down to business. 

“Where’s Captain Levi, cadet?” 

The man’s eyes darted away from your own before he answered. “Taking care of something, I think.”

You raised an eyebrow in suspicion at the soldier’s weary tone. “Oh? And what is he taking care of, might I ask?” Everything about this seemed peculiar, and you weren’t having it. 

“I don’t know. Something… personal.” When he finally met your gaze, he relented, sacrificing the Captain’s privacy for his own sake, too scared to see what your reaction would be if he kept playing coy. “He’s that way, by the big oak tree,” he stated, pointing in the direction he came. 

You squinted, making out the shadow of the tree in the setting sun. You dismissed the cadet, and quickly made your way towards Levi, his body becoming clearer as you approached. Once you were a reasonable distance away, you called out, but were met with silence. As your worry grew, you moved faster, only stopping when you realized what was going on. 

Levi was kneeling, his body covering the person in front of him. It didn’t matter, you’d recognize those spurs anywhere. 

“Kenny?” The name was uttered in disbelief, and as you stepped around Levi, your eyes grew wide with fear. “Kenny!” 

Immediately, you jumped into action, your scout training taking hold of your body as you knelt by your friend. Your hands hovered over his burnt and bloodied body, not knowing where to start but ignoring the possibility that it was too late. “How… How do I help you? I-I don’t know what to do.” Your eyes were tearing up, and your breathing was getting ragged as you struggled to find some solution. “Please, Kenny, tell me how to help!” 

“Kitten…” His voice was rough as he spoke, his usual tones of confidence and charisma gone. You met his half-closed eyes with your wet ones, begging for him to give you some answer, some, any sort of reassurance that things would be alright. 

“Please,” you pleaded. You had never sounded this pitiful in your life, but you didn’t care, and as his shaking hand grabbed your own, a sob wracked your body. “Kenny, please. Please stay.” You couldn’t help, you knew that, but you hoped for once in his life he would listen to you. 

His eyes began to shut, and his voice fell to a whisper as he said, “Stay safe, kitten.” With a barely there squeeze of your hand, his body went limp, his hand dropping from your grasp.  

You stared in silence, shock overtaking you for a moment. But then, all you felt was anger. “No. No! You promised!” You were yelling at this point, fist reaching out to bang on Kenny’s chest in retaliation. A strong grip on your wrist stopped you, but you weren’t done. As if he could read your mind, Levi wrapped his free arm around your waist, pulling you back from the now dead man. You were screeching obscenities at both Kenny and Levi as you struggled to break free. Soon, your screams turned into sobs, and as you fell limp into Levi’s arms, you let out one last whimper, a last cry for help. “You promised.”

Later that night, as you pulled a camisole over your head, a knock sounded on your quarters’ door. Truthfully, you had absolutely no desire to talk to anyone. You had had a long day, you had just changed into your pajamas, and you weren’t in the mood to join your fellow soldiers in celebration. Still, you pulled the door open a few inches, hoping it would be someone you could easily send away. To your surprise, Levi stood outside dressed in plain clothes and hair wet from what you presumed was a shower. Even more surprising was the newly formed bruise on his cheekbone. The reddish-purple mark stood out against his normally flawless skin, and you found yourself staring, only Levi’s sharp voice bringing you back to reality. 

“You did that, you know,” he commented with a blank face. 

“What?” You opened the door a bit more, furrowing your eyebrows in confusion. “What do you mean?” 

His left eyebrow cocked up just barely. “When you went berserk earlier. Before I managed to snag both of your wrists,” he explained. He reached up a hand to brush against his cheek. “Damn, you hit hard.” 

You weren’t sure, but the tone in the man’s voice made you think that maybe, just maybe, he was trying to cheer you up. Against your will, the corners of your mouth turned up the slightest bit. “Did you expect anything less?” You quipped, wondering what his answer might be. 

“No.” He shrugged. “Just surprised it took you this long to punch me in the face.” 

At that, you let out a laugh. It was true, the man had managed to push every single one of your buttons during his time with the Scouting Regiment. The two of you were in constant conflict, arguments over the smallest things popping up out of nowhere. At some point, Erwin had decided that Mike would be the babysitter of you two, keeping you both in line during training and even more so during squad leader meetings. You started to smile at the memory, but when you remembered that Mike, like so many of the others you loved, was dead, your expression fell. 

Moving your eyes to stare down at the uneven floorboards, you spoke quietly, but sincerely, “I’m sorry.” 

Levi knew you weren’t just apologizing for hitting him but for everything, and as he studied your face, he made a decision. “Do you want some tea? I keep a special brand in my room.” It was the only thing he had to offer, and both you and him knew it. 

You froze as you tried to figure out the best course of action. Follow the Captain to his room or mope around alone until you cry yourself to sleep? In the end, it was an easy choice. Still, your heart stuttered in your chest while you gained your composure. You took a breath before responding, “Um, sure.” 

There was a beat of silence, as if the two of you were readying yourself to take on some new, mysterious foe. And in a way, you supposed, you were. About a month after Levi had joined the scouts, there had been an… incident of sorts. It wasn’t disastrous or anything like that, but Erwin had quickly ruled that the two of you weren’t allowed to be in the same room together without someone else present. A wise decision on his part, if you were being completely honest, and something that Levi nor you argued with in the slightest. But now, years later, it seemed both of you were ready to break that rule, Levi making the first move as he turned on his heel and waited to see if you would follow. 

Out of all of the scouts, you were known to be the most stealthy. Mike was usually the only one who could sense you were coming, claiming you had a distinctly pleasant smell that his nose had no problem picking up on. One time, he had even claimed that you were the best smelling person in the Survey Corps, and you couldn’t help but swell with pride. Hange had whispered to you later that evening that that was his way of flirting, but you never took her seriously. You weren’t interested in dating anyways. No one had ever really caught your eye minus one man, but you always said it was more of a fascination than a crush. 

Even your ODM gear seemed to be quieter than the rest, and you once managed to spook even the Commander when you landed on the same tree branch as him without him knowing. You naturally existed silently and sneakily so when Levi picked up on the sound of your sock-clad feet shuffling behind him, the pit of concern in his stomach grew. 

Reaching his quarters, he unlocked the door wordlessly, holding it open so that you could enter first. Your eyes widened as you took in the space. First of all, it was much bigger than your room. While you only had a bedroom and bathroom to yourself like the other squad leaders, Levi had a small living area with a couch, small coffee table, and even a desk. There were papers neatly stacked on top of it, and the rest of the area was just as orderly, his tea kettle sitting in the exact center of the coffee table. Only when you sat down on the couch did you see the small fireplace he had. It was just big enough to fit a tea kettle over it, and that’s what Levi proceeded to do. 

You let out a low whistle, capturing the man’s attention. “Wow. When did you get so important?” You asked, motioning lazily about the room with your hand. 

Levi scoffed and placed a hand casually on his hip. “Erwin gave it to me when he moved into the Commander’s quarters. Reward for the highest kill count or something like that.” His voice was so nonchalant that for a moment, you didn’t realize that he was insulting you. No, you thought, it was more of a tease than an insult. 

Now it was your turn to scoff, well aware that your fellow Captain was just trying to get a reaction out of you. Levi watched as you rolled your eyes playfully, firelight glinting off of your irises. Had they always been such a pretty color? 

The whistle of the kettle broke him out of his reverie, and he swiftly turned back to take it off of the heat. When he brought it back to the table, he was pleasantly surprised that you had already prepared the teacups, him only having to pour the water in and wait for it to steep. Hesitantly, he moved around the table to take a seat next to you, wondering when the two of you were ever this close. The events of the day popped into his head, and he did his best to ignore the fact that the thing he remembered the most about it was you being in his arms. Still, a question had been lingering in his mind, and he figured now was the best time to ask it. 

“Y/N,” he started, and you looked over with wide eyes at the use of your first name. You honestly weren’t aware that he even knew you had a first name. “Can I ask you a question?” You knew what was coming, but you forced yourself to nod anyways, giving him silent permission to know your secrets. “How do you know Kenny Ackerman?” 

It was a loaded question, and you let out a breath as you tried to figure out the best way to tell the story without getting either you or Kenny into trouble. Even the secrets of a dead man needed to be protected sometimes. Despite it all occurring years ago, the government’s threat towards you regarding the release of information hung heavily in your mind. Both you and Levi would be in danger if you revealed too much. He could swear himself to secrecy, and you would trust him, but the risk would never be worth the reward. You fiddled with your fingers in your lap, worrying your lip as you thought of how to start to explain. 

“Well,” you bit the inside of your cheek, gathering your nerves before continuing, “About a year and a half before you joined the scouts, I got myself into a bit of trouble.” He raised an eyebrow in surprise as you were widely thought to be the most well behaved and well intentioned scout there was. He thought he was the only person who could get you riled up, your scoldings from the other squad leaders and the Commander always leading back to him. You sent him a small grin. “I wasn’t always the goody two shoes I am now, Levi.” 

“Anyways, it became kind of a big deal in the Capital, and a lot of higher-ups were calling for my head.” You let out a light chuckle. “Imagine just turning 19 and having almost every MP looking for you. Scary stuff.”

“Wait.” Levi held up a hand to stop you before you could continue. The story had just started, but he was already having trouble believing that this was the truth. If not for the darkness that rested just behind your eyes, he would’ve called bullshit as soon as you said your first sentence. “What exactly did you do?” 

You looked away from the intensity of his gaze for a moment, an internal debate raging on inside your head. With a sigh, you relented. “I… I can’t tell you everything, but let’s just say it had to do with a certain Premier and confidential papers being stolen from his office.” Levi’s eyes grew wide, and you took that as a sign to continue. “No one knows except Commander Erwin, but I spent most of my teenage years in the Underground. I was born within Wall Sina, so I had papers to be up top, but I much preferred being below gro—”

“Why?” Levi was quick to cut you off, his expression hard and tone almost offended.

“My parents owned land in Wall Sina, and when they died, they left none of it to me, so folk got the idea in their head that I was a problem child. I wasn’t wanted there, so I left.” You shrugged, and Levi’s face softened. “I admit, the Underground wasn’t easy, but I was quick on my feet and smart for my age. I survived and I survived by myself. Help wasn’t something I wanted, but when you’re suddenly being chased by the royal government, it becomes something you need. That’s how I found Kenny, and it’s why I owe him my life.” 

It had been a week since you had completed your assignment, already turning in the materials to the man who had hired you and returning back to your comfortable life underground. All had seemed to go swimmingly, and your confidence had grown tenfold. The feeling of being unstoppable was addictive, and you craved the sensation of that feeling again. You let your thoughts drift to what you could accomplish next, but sudden screams quickly snapped you out of your daydream. Straightening in your chair, you peeked out of the window of the tavern you currently resided in. Fear grew in your chest at what you saw.

Standing right outside were five MP’s, fully equipped with ODM gear and holding up a wanted poster with a poorly drawn sketch of your face on it. It was clear that they were asking for your whereabouts, and you were thankful to see that every person was shaking their heads to say no, they had no idea. Even with the solidarity of your fellow Underground citizens, you knew you had to get out of there and away from the sharp swords that hung off of the men’s waists. Before you could move, though, two of the men entered the bar, their eyes sweeping over the patrons. 

Right before their eyes could meet your frightened ones, your world was encased in darkness, the only light you could see coming from below you. You blinked, trying to understand what exactly just happened, but soon realized that a large hat had been placed over your head. Carefully, you lifted the brim so that you could see, and were met with the piercing silver stare of a man a good amount of years older than you. Apparently your confusion showed on your face because he quickly pushed the hat back down so that it shaded your features. 

He spoke in a quiet voice, only letting you be privy to whatever information he was about to share. “I’d keep that on if I were you, kitten. Don’t want the MP’s seeing your face, now do we?” You didn’t dare speak, but quickly shook your head, showing him you were listening and following instructions. “Good,” he dragged out the vowel, and the table shook as he placed his leg onto the table. Were those cowboy boots and spurs? You were pretty sure people only wore those in stories. “Now,” he stated, “We’re just gonna have a nice, pleasant conversation. Lots of giggles, ya hear me?” You nodded, the hat moving up and down your forehead. 

As the man started spewing nonsense, you did your best to play along, laughing like he said to and keeping your face covered as best you could. You could hear the MP’s getting closer to your table over the man’s rowdy voice, and the hand gripping your drink began to shake in fear. Smoothly, the man took your hand in his, making some weird comment about how soft it was. You frowned. Your hands weren’t soft at all. What was with this guy? 

The realization of what his plan was smacked you in the face, and you let out light giggles in response, putting on your most fake voice as you thanked him for the compliment. The things you were saying to each other became sickly sweet, so much so that you almost laughed at one point. As the soldiers approached your table, the mysterious man leaned in close, his alcoholic breath fanning over your face. Calmly, he swept the hat off of your head and placed it so that it covered both of your faces from the men who were now only a couple of feet away. 

A swift kick from under the table spurred you into action, and you let out a girlish moan followed by an exaggerated giggle. He followed suit, making a comment about how nice your lips were. If it were any other situation, you would punch this man in the face, but for right now, you’d listen to every command he gave you. From behind the hat you heard one of the MP’s mumble about ‘couples these days’ with a gagging noise coming from the other. With one last lovesick comment from the man in front of you, the MP’s retreated, leaving the tavern with muttered curses leaving their lips. 

Your savior leaned back into his chair, a smirk adoring his features as he placed his hat back on his head. For a moment, you both just stared at each other, you in shock and him in some state of glee. You decided to speak first. 

“Who are you?” 

“The name’s Kenny.” He kicked his other leg up on the table with a thwack! as the spur hit the cracked wood. The silence grew again, but this time you were at a loss for words. Sure, his name was Kenny, but was that all he was going to say? Apparently not, but when he spoke up again, it was entirely unhelpful. “That was fun, wasn’t it?”

You frowned, unamused. “Maybe for you. I should punch you for some of the things you said. Strange men shouldn’t talk to unassuming ladies like that.” Your tone was laced with a bit of sarcasm, and he guffawed.

“I don’t think fugitives from the crown can be considered ladies,” he shot back, and you huffed. His face grew serious. “I’ve been watching you for a while, kitten.”

You raised your eyebrows at the nickname. “It’s Y/N, and, uh, what?” Once again, this man completely took you by surprise. 

He shrugged. “You may not know it yourself, kitten, but you’re well known down here in the Underground. A mysterious girl who arrives without a sound, stealing from the above-grounders and sharing the wealth with the rest of us? You’re practically a legend; some people don’t even believe you’re real, but those that do would protect you with their life.”

This was all news to you. Yes, those were things that you did, but people recognized you for it? You furrowed your eyebrows and blinked quickly as you tried to puzzle the situation out. “I…” You struggled for words.

Kenny held up a hand. “It’s true whether you believe it or not… But, it seems that you’ve bitten off a little more than you can chew this time, my friend. Stealing from the Premier? Tsk, tsk.” His tone was more playful than condescending, and you gave him a weary grin. 

You sighed and finally relaxed back into your own chair, studying the man’s face. It showed his experience rather than his age, and you wondered just exactly who he was. Taking a chance, you pried for more information. You hated being in the dark. “So, you didn’t answer my question. Who are you?” 

His smile grew at your curiosity, crooked teeth appearing under chapped lips. “Someone who can help you. If you want it, that is. It seems clear you like to work on your own.” There was a challenge laced into his words, and you wondered what the right decision was. On one hand, getting involved with someone else, someone else you knew nothing about at that, was a dangerous game. On the other, you were in trouble and you needed all the help you could get. 

Taking a chance, you slowly nodded. “Okay. What do you have in mind?” 

He explained his plan. The MP’s didn’t know your name, so it would be easy to get above ground using your old Wall Sina papers. After you expressed your concern and with a chuckle, he dismissed their drawing of you, stating that once you got above ground and cleaned up, you would be unrecognizable from your old self. Then, with his next words, you lost your confidence in his plan. 

“You want me… to join the Survey Corps?” You shook your head in disbelief. “Uh, no way. That’s right under the government’s noses!” 

He brushed you off. “Eh, not really. The government already dislikes the Corps. They’re not gonna care who’s in it; they figure you’ll all die soon enough.” At that, you gave him a very blank stare, and he just laughed, stealing a swig from your mug. “You’ll be fine. You don’t seem like the dying type.”

It was true, you had escaped the jaws of death on multiple occasions, but you weren’t in the business of actively riding towards your demise. That seemed plain idiotic to you, and you made that known. “This isn’t a joke. It’s my life on the line,” you countered.

With a swift movement, his legs were off of the table and his body was leaning in towards yours, the weight on his elbows making the table creak. His eyes turned dark, levelling your gaze. “It’s your life either way. Would you rather die by the hands of the Military Police after they’ve done God-knows-what to you? Or would you rather die on your own terms, possibly fighting for Humanity’s freedom?” 

It was a good question, a fair question, and one you immediately knew the answer to. You sucked in a breath as you resigned yourself to your new fate. “So, how do we do this?” 

With another grin, Kenny explained the rest of his plan. It really wasn’t a bad idea, and you were grateful for the help. But still uncertainty settled in your stomach.

The day you were to join the Corps, Kenny had told you he would meet you before you left. You hadn’t seen him in about a week, and in that time, you had completely changed yourself, moving up top, getting a haircut, and finally wearing clean, untorn clothes. It was weird and different, but a part of you enjoyed it. This was a new start, you had chosen to believe.

“Kitten!” You turned towards the easily recognizable voice with a roll of your eyes, but the playful smile that toyed with your lips gave away your true feelings. “Give me a spin!” He requested, and when you did, he let out a loud whistle. “Damn, you really look like you belong up here.”

You raised your eyebrows with a grin. “That’s the point, right?” 

“Precisely, my friend, precisely.” Slinging an arm over your shoulders, he began to walk with you towards where the ferry would pick you up. His pace was slow, obviously not in a rush to say goodbye, and you felt the same. Somehow, the two of you had grown close over the past month. Even with all of the secrets you both kept from each other, there was an air of freedom when you were in the other’s presence. No lies, no false personalities, just friendship. 

It was refreshing, to say the least.

For once, you both were quiet as you walked. The weight of the future hung over both of you, pressing your mouths shut. He managed to speak first, his voice cracking for the first time since you met him and giving away his true emotions. 

“Stay safe, kitten.” The words were serious, and something in him couldn’t stand to let that be the last thing he said. “You’ll kick those Titans’ asses.” 

Normally, you’d laugh, or at least smile, at his cheesy jokes. Instead, you stopped walking and turned until you both faced each other, looking up to meet his eyes. With a swallow, you asked something of him that you knew was unfair, was selfish, was wrong. Yet, you still asked, knowing Kenny wouldn’t hold it against you. 

“Promise me you won’t die before me.” 

His eyes softened in understanding, crinkles forming around their edges as he gave you the most gentle of smiles. He knew what you needed to hear, knew it would be a lie, knew you’d hate him for it. But, he said it anyway.

“I promise.”

[dionnaea]

Return | Reiner x Reader

pairing: reiner braun x reader

warnings: pining but confused reiner, fluff, just cute stuff :)

wc: 1.3k

a/n: i have some other ideas for this reader and story, but i liked ending it here. lmk if there’s interest in a part 2!

attack on titan masterlist | general masterlist

It had been, to put it politely, a shit day. 

First, Annie had kicked your ass during hand-to-hand combat training, rosy bruises now forming along your skin. Second, your wires had gotten tangled during ODMG practice, leaving you hanging upside down from a tree until Christa found you around five minutes later. Dinner was terrible for multiple reasons (the main one being that Eren had knocked soup all over you while tousling with Jean), and now, as you finally tried to get a moment of peace, Reiner was waiting patiently outside of the girls’ barracks. You weren’t sure how long he had been standing there, arms crossed like he was the hired guard of the place, but you didn’t really care. Ignoring him, you started your trek to your desired location. 

“Hey! Y/N!” He was whisper-shouting, not wanting to be found out by your superiors, as he pushed himself off of the wall. When you didn’t acknowledge him, he called out again. When no response came, he resorted to other methods. With a large step, he managed to catch up to your pace and with calculated precision, he reached out and grabbed your wrist. 

You stopped at the contact, eyes widening for just a moment until you brought your face back to rest in its neutral position. His touch was surprisingly gentle, his grasp only applying enough pressure to get your attention. Slowly, hesitantly, you turned around. You met his gaze, careful to not let your flustered state come to his attention. 

“Do you need something, Reiner?” 

It came out more harsh than you intended, but the boy was used to that by now. Your voice was never soft when speaking with the other cadets, instead usually coming out as neutral and with enough interest towards others that the spotlight naturally drifted off of you. You were quiet, but not so quiet as to be labelled as such. You spoke when you needed to, participated in conversations you were dragged into, and seemed generally amicable. You lived life in the middle, just normal enough to be both unremarkable and unnoticeable. 

It was impressive, honestly, and over the time he had known you, Reiner realized exactly how much effort you constantly put in to stay in that position. 

Reiner faltered at the way you stared up at him, like you were waiting on both permission and an order. It was too submissive, too innocent for a girl like you, and he didn’t know if he loved or hated the way your eyelashes fluttered when you blinked. He could feel your heartbeat under his fingers, steady and unwavering unlike his own. His heart usually ran a tad faster when he was in your presence but now, noticing the way his fingers crossed over his thumb as they circled your tiny wrist, he felt like it might stop beating all together. Quickly, he let go, moving his hand to rub the back of his neck. 

“Um, I…” He wasn’t sure if he wanted to confess this, but he didn’t know how else to explain his presence outside of your dorm. “I was worried about you, knew somethin’ was off. Figured I’d wait outside until I saw you.” 

You blinked again, expression steady except for a small twitch of your lips. Was that annoyance or the start of a smile? Reiner didn’t know, but he desperately hoped for the later, nervous you might think he was some kind of stalker after his weak explanation. 

“Oh,” was all you replied with. 

There was an uncomfortable silence between the two of you, and Reiner was sure he’d been standing there avoiding your gaze for at least five minutes at that point. His mind stumbled to find something better to say, but words escaped him, and he wondered how he had ever managed to call himself smooth with a straight face. Right as he started to say something, you spoke, your voice as crisp as the night air. 

“Thanks. I’m fine, though.” 

The gratitude seemed sincere enough, and you appeared mostly unbothered by the situation. Still, a part of Reiner felt that he had interrupted something and a bit of guilt nagged at the back of his mind. Against his better judgement, he tried to ease his own insecurities by pestering you more.

“Where are you going? You know you’ll get in trouble if you’re seen out of the barracks at this time of night.” There was worry lacing his voice, but a note of leadership and command was there, too. 

“I know.” You tucked your hands into the pockets of your pajama bottoms and just barely tilted your head to the side. “You’ll get in trouble, too.” 

It was a good point, and Reiner, in all honesty, hadn’t really thought of what consequences might be bestowed upon him when he snuck out of his own bunk to go to yours. Mostly, he was thinking about you. 

You let out a small sigh and brought your hand up to point your thumb behind you. “I’m going to the lookout over the lake. You’re welcome to come if you really want to.” Obviously, Reiner was hesitant to leave you; it was clear from the hurried glances he sent your direction to the way he avoided your gaze when you allowed your eyes to meet his. You didn’t know why he was so worried, but you had decided to give the guy a break and allow him to come with you if it would ease his concerns. 

After he agreed in the form of a nod, you turned back around, walking the path you had gone down so many times you could do it with your eyes closed. Reiner followed silently, but you could feel his eyes on you as you took every step. It felt like he was studying you, and you wondered what knowledge he was hoping to find along the planes of your back.

You paused, reaching your destination, and when you still heard the crunching of leaves behind you, you spoke up, snapping Reiner out of his trance before he walked right off the cliff, “Reiner, we’re here.” You motioned your hand out in front of you in presentation and then took a seat, leaning back on your arms and reveling in the feeling of cold stone seeping into your skin. He followed suit, sitting down beside you. 

For a bit, it was quiet, only the sound of wind cutting through trees floating into your ears. To both your surprise and his, you spoke first, your voice softer than Reiner had ever heard it. Suddenly, he was trespassing on private property, heart racing as he waited to be caught and kicked out. 

“You know, I come out here almost every night.” Reiner turned to face you, studying your profile as the moonlight traced the lines of your face. Silver dusted down the slope of your nose. “It’s just… peaceful, I guess. Reminds me of home.” 

Reiner froze. Missing home. Now that was something he could understand. “Me, too.” He paused, scared to say his next words out loud, scared to admit something to you that he didn’t even want to admit to himself. “I… I want to go back. Home, I mean.” 

The corners of your lips turned up, and you let out a light chuckle, the sound being swept away by the wind before Reiner got a chance to truly listen to it. “I think we all do. It’s too tempting to want something we can’t have.” You finally turned your head to meet his eyes, sparkling gold. They held unspoken secrets, and you knew he could see the same thing in yours. “But doesn’t that make it all the more rewarding in the end? When we do get to go back home?” 

There was a sharp intake of breath, Reiner’s chest filling with air for the first time since he arrived on this island. Home. You said he’d get to go back, and for once, there was confidence and passion and hope in your voice. And for some reason, for some odd reason Reiner would never truly understand, he believed you.

[dionnaea]

In The Open | Armin x Reader

pairing: armin arlert x reader

warnings: none! literally just fluff

wc: 908

a/n: this request is so sweet, thank you for sending it in! 

request: An imagine with older Armin and his s/o introducing their children to the ocean, please? Thank you so much!!!

attack on titan masterlist | general masterlist

In general, you were pretty good with words. You could talk your way out of a problem with ease, your slick tongue coming in handy more than once. Armin always said you could sell salt to the sea, or something like that. But this? This was not easy. Explaining to a 6 and 10 year old why exactly it was worth it to ride horseback for half a day in the hot sun was practically impossible, them not understanding just what the importance was of what you were all going to see. 

“It’s the ocean, Elijah, not the ‘open,’” Armin tried to correct for what was probably the sixth time that day. 

Elijah removed his hand from the horse’s mane so that he could swing it nonchalantly in the air. “Yeah, the open. That’s what I said.” 

“No—” Armin started to try again, but you quickly shut him down with a quick mutter of his name knowing the continuing correction would make no difference other than cause the kids to become more restless. He relented with a sigh when he saw the look on your face, well aware that you were right. 

Your daughter spoke up from where she rode in front of you, her blond curls bouncing along with the horse’s trots. “What’s that again?” There was genuine curiosity in her voice, but you knew your husband must be getting tired of explaining by now. 

To your surprise, he gave the same answer he always did when the kids asked and with just as much enthusiasm. “It’s a body of water so big that you can’t see the end of it! And it never runs out of salt!” He was met with a disappointing silence, you sending him an understanding smile as he failed to keep his expression from dropping. 

Trying your best to be a good wife and help your poor husband out, you spoke up. “It’s beautiful, with colorful shells to play with and tiny fish that brush against your toes.” You tickled Lily’s side, causing her to erupt in giggles. 

“I love fish!” She exclaimed. They had become a new obsession of your daughter’s in the past month after Armin had shown her a picture book full of the new species that had been found in the recent exploration. She followed in her father’s footsteps and soaked up the information like a sponge, now proving to her family just how much she knew. 

So engrossed in the marine life conversation with his daughter, Elijah had to be the one to redirect Armin’s attention to what he was really there for. There, in front of the family of four, sat the looming wall, marking the separation between them and the sea. Elijah frowned, unimpressed. Before he could complain, though, they circled around the edge, revealing the breathtaking view Armin had waited so long to show his children. 

The two of you lifted your children off of their mounts, taking off their shoes before they hit the ground. The expressions that adorned their faces as their feet hit the warm sand was something neither you nor Armin would ever forget. It was priceless, wide eyes and smiles that lit up their entire face. When you turned to look at Armin, his eyes were sparkling, too, the sun glinting off of their glassy surface. 

He’s beautiful, you thought, blond hair swaying in the wind, cheeks pink from the sun, and an expression that only an adoring father could wear. He was completely focused on the kids, encouraging them to go into the water and slipping off his own shoes so that he could join them. You watched as he forgot to roll up his pants in the excitement, letting him run into the waves carelessly. You laughed as he gently splashed the two kids, careful not to get salt in their eyes but wanting to play nonetheless. It was perfect, you believed. This was a perfect moment, and you did your best to forever lock it into your memory. The sound of the waves, childish giggles, and the absolute joy in your husband’s voice flooded into your ears, and you wanted nothing more than to join them. 

So you did.

The day was well spent. Lily had spent at least an hour trying to catch any fish she was lucky enough to run across, and Elijah was more than happy to try his hand at skipping rocks and chasing the waves. Lacking the energy that only children possess, you and Armin stood together on the shoreline, his arm wrapped around your waist and yours wrapped around his, content watching your children play as the sun set behind them. 

“I love you.” 

His voice was soft, and carried the weight of his words without regret. You let them sink in for a moment. You had heard them before, of course, and you knew from his actions that he did, but hearing them now, with your children beyond happy and while standing in his favorite place, it was different. It meant more somehow, enveloping a new sort of happiness only available once in a lifetime. 

Your lips curled upwards gently, and you rested your head against Armin’s chest, his mouth coming to place a chaste kiss against your hair. 

“I love you, too.” 

And for a moment, for a fraction of a second, the world stopped spinning, giving you just enough time to say thank you to the universe. 

[dionnaea]

The Moon Brings Forgiveness | Pieck x Reader

pairing: pieck finger x reader

warnings: fluff, a little bit of angst, unresolved past conflict

wc: 1.1k

a/n: this accidentally turned sort of angsty, but i hope it still has enough fluff to be satisfying. i was a bit nervous to write for Pieck at first, but i think (?) it turned out well! Please let me know your thoughts!! xx

request: Hi! :) I don't know how caught up with the AOT manga you are, but if you are, could you possibly write something with Pieck? The specifics are up to you, but I figured I would ask. Thank you!

attack on titan masterlist | general masterlist

It had been months, years, seemingly eternities since you had last seen her, and everyday you had prepared to once again look into her eyes. But now, watching her approach, you weren’t prepared in the slightest. She looked the same, but different somehow, her dark hair tumbling down her shoulders as it always did, strands falling into her face which your fingers begged to tuck behind her ears. No, you reminded yourself, it wasn’t your time yet. 

First came her father, and as you watched her hug him happily, you couldn’t help but smile yourself. They chatted for a moment, but soon enough, the elder man was pointing in your direction, Pieck looking over and meeting your eyes. Even from a distance you could tell that there was conflict behind her irises. Yet, she didn’t resist when her father pushed her towards you. 

Walking slowly to meet her halfway, you pondered in your head if it was the right choice to show up here. Things hadn’t exactly ended well between the two of you, but you hoped that that would be forgotten in place of a mutual desire to see one another again. Still, when you finally stopped walking, it took you a moment to gather enough courage to meet her gaze, frightened it might hold a reality you didn’t want to see. 

When you finally looked up, time seemed to stop for the two of you, a silence filling that air that was neither comfortable nor uncomfortable, merely encapsulating you both inside of it. Things snapped back to normal when she spoke, her voice as gentle as ever. 

“Hi,” she greeted. It was warmer than you expected it would be, and it filled your chest with a bit of hope. “My dad told me that you’ve been taking care of him while I’ve been away.” Her eyes were searching yours for something, you could tell, but you weren’t sure what exactly and you didn’t know what she would find. 

Looking down towards your clasped hands, you replied, “Yes, I’ve done my best. I…” You stopped, changing your words in favor of safer ones. “He’s really missed you.”

Pieck didn’t respond right away, instead waiting for you to meet her eyes once more. When you did, she gave you a small smile. “I’ve missed him a lot, too.” The corners of your lips turned up, but soon fell when you noticed what was under her arm. She lifted it in recognition of your stare. “Takes some time to get used to walking on two legs again,” she said with a laugh, but it lacked the usual cheeriness she held and she knew you were perceptive enough to notice. 

“Ah,” you nodded, “I bet.” Not wanting to bring her down, or ruin your chances for that matter, you changed the subject to a lighter one. “You know, I’ve played chess with your dad almost every day, and he still beats me every time. It’s borderline Godlike how good he is.” 

“Or,” Pieck started, dragging out the consonant, “maybe you just suck at chess.” She grinned as you huffed in response, knowing that that statement could quite possibly be true. 

“You’d think he’d let me win at least once out of pity,” you mumbled, causing Pieck to laugh lightly. She brought her hand up to gently pat your arm in consolation, and even through your layers of clothes, you could’ve sworn there was a spark. Her touch burned your bicep even after she pulled away, leaving you wondering if she had kept her hand there for just a moment too long. 

Pieck breathed out a small sigh, her smile falling just barely enough to notice. Quick to worry, you reached out, stopping before you actually touched her. Her making contact was one thing, but you? Would she really be okay with that? To your surprise, she took your hand from where it had stopped midair, encasing it in hers. Her skin was rougher than when she left, but it still held the same warmth it always had, and suddenly, you felt safe. “Pieck? What’s wrong?” 

She took a breath in before speaking, worrying the inside of her lip at what your answer might be. You recognized the nerves, and wondered if she really was just as nervous as you were. “Can you meet me tonight? At our place?” Her dark eyes were uncertain and held a desperation that made your heart ache, so you quickly agreed, hoping the squeeze you gave to her hand would provide some reassurance that, at least for the time being, things would be alright. 

The stars were out and only the moon’s light covered you as you waited patiently on the balcony that had served as your secret rendezvous point with Pieck for more years than you could count. Looking back, it felt like both a thousand years and no time at all had passed since the two of you had found this place during your childhood adventures. It had just enough privacy to speak openly, a rarity within the internment zone. 

You heard her before you saw her, the telltale sound of shuffling coming from the entryway. Turning, you were met with nothing until your eyes roamed downwards and found Pieck staring up at you from the ground. Her nightgown was scuffed with dirt, and you wondered if she had made the whole journey here that way. Hesitantly, you called her name, offering her a hand up and guiding her to sit against the balcony’s ledge once she took it. 

As soon as silence started to fill the air, you broke it. The words had been lodged in your heart for too long, and you could either speak them now or never. “I’m sorry,” you stated, your tone filled with both regret and anger at yourself. “I was an idiot and selfish, and it wasn’t fair of me to say what I said to you. I… I didn’t mean it.” 

“I know.” It was a quick and confident response, and your eyes jerked over to search the woman’s face. She was already looking at you when you turned, however, as if she somehow knew you needed to see her expression to believe her. “I know you didn’t mean it, and I knew that then, too. I guess it was just easier to be mad. Made it easier to say goodbye.” There was regret in her voice, too, but somehow, the air felt a bit lighter after she spoke, and you were able to take a full breath for the first time in months. 

You felt wetness start to bead along your bottom lashes as you listened to the sincerity in Pieck’s voice as she explained her feelings. They were ragged and complicated, but you listened patiently until it all made sense. You didn’t understand then, but staring at her now, moonlight carving out her features just so, you understood. You understood why she left you, and as you wept in her arms, she forgave you and you forgave yourself. 

[dionnaea]

Could you possibly write Mikasa x fem reader? I absolutely love that women. Also just wanted to add that your writing is amazing <3

Only Fools Fall in Love | Mikasa x Reader

pairing: mikasa ackerman x reader

warnings: hanahaki disease, angst, character death

wc: 1.9k

a/n: this turned very sad. i am sorry. (and thank you!!)

flower key: columbine: foolishness; arborvitae: unchanging friendship; heliotrope: eternal love, devotion; pink camellia: longing; carnation: women, love; yellow hyacinth: jealousy

attack on titan masterlist | general masterlist

You didn’t know how it had come to this. How a small crush had turned into an infatuation had turned into love. How you had managed to get yourself into this ongoing situation, and how you were ever going to get yourself out of it. 

But now, trapped between the forest floor and a beautiful woman, you weren’t concerned about any of that. All you had on your mind was the sensation of Mikasa’s soft lips on yours and the desire to touch her further. 

You had already been out here for at least thirty minutes, and it was well past midnight at this point, but you didn’t care. So when Mikasa began to pull away, you placed a hand in her hair and tried to bring her right back in. To both your disappointment and expectation, Mikasa sat up anyways, her thighs trapping your own between them. It wasn’t surprising that she was the one to end things. She always was. 

“I…” She looked away, not willing to face the emotion in your eyes. “I can’t do this anymore.” Words escaped you, and you simply stared until she spoke again, shattering your heart with one short sentence. “It’s over.”

You were silent, knowing that this had been coming for quite some time. You had expected it, even wondered if it would happen tonight, but that didn’t keep the pain from hurting any less. You didn’t want to, God, you didn’t want to, but you forced yourself to accept that this was the end as she reached a hand down to help you up. You did your best to ignore the way her hand felt in yours, the way her warmth seeped into you and blocked out the chill of the night air. As she began to walk towards base, you stayed frozen, dreading what was about to happen. 

Mikasa glanced back for a moment, but seeing your face, she turned her head quickly and continued down the path. You knew she knew. She was well aware you had the disease, and she knew she was the cause of it. So why did she keep coming back? But then again, you asked yourself the same thing. 

As soon as Mikasa was out of sight, you dropped to your knees, coughs rippling up from your chest. You felt the petals before they left your mouth, and when they fell to the brown dirt, a part of you wanted to laugh at how pretty they looked. Columbine, marking your foolishness with purple and white. Yellow Hyacinth, reminding you of your jealousy. And pink Camellia, the one that hurt the most as it travelled up your windpipe, teasing you for the longing you so deeply felt. 

Tonight, though, you noticed another color, sprayed along the petals in droplets. Red, the color that told of your demise. You knew it had gotten worse, you could feel the roots implanting themselves in your lungs for weeks, but you didn’t expect this. You stopped and stared, holding your breath and watching as blood fell from your lips and seeped into the dirt. There was no one else to blame but yourself.

You hadn’t tried to be so obvious, but everyone was well aware of your crush on Mikasa, including the girl herself. For the most part, she kept her distance from you, attempting to be polite in her own way and let you down easily. So when she asked you to meet her behind the dining hall after curfew one night, you didn’t know what to think. 

You approached slowly, hesitantly, nervous for what Mikasa would say to you. Turning the corner, your eyes widened in shock. Mikasa was bent over, something pouring out of her mouth as she choked. Petals, you realized as you stepped closer. Petals of Arborvitae and Heliotrope flooded out of her mouth and fluttered down to the ground. 

You rushed to her side, calling out her name in a panic. Her body shook, and when she finally stopped coughing, she looked up at you with wet, desperate eyes. It was disturbing, seeing Mikasa, the strongest woman and fighter you knew, in such a pitiful state. She forced herself to stand up right, hands still trembling, and as she spoke, her voice was strained and raw.

“I need your help.” 

Easily, you agreed, knowing you would do anything for her. But as she said her next words, you froze. 

“I’m in love with Eren, and I need to be in love with you.” 

“What?” You recoiled, stepping away from her, confliction stirring in your stomach. The word love mocked you. “I… What?” 

Just as it was clear you had a crush on Mikasa, it was clear that she had a crush on Eren. She followed him around like a lost puppy, meeting his every need without concern for her own wellbeing. At first, you just felt annoyed at their interactions like pretty much every other soldier who witnessed Mikasa’s lovesick stare, but soon, that annoyance turned to jealousy, even a slight anger at Eren for not appreciating what he had rested in your mind. 

Your eyebrows furrowed, and you shook your head, searching Mikasa’s eyes as you tried to figure out just what she was thinking. Like always, though, she was unreadable, steel grey glassy from tears but just as unrelenting. “Mikasa, I don’t understand. Of course I want to help you, but… Just, can you please explain?” 

She bit her lip, a nervous habit she had never revealed before. For a moment, you got lost in the way the skin turned from pink to red. “I’m… I’m dying. I can feel it getting worse every day, I can feel the roots and thorns piercing my lungs.” It took every ounce of strength you had to not reach out and hug her right then, instead letting her keep talking until she was done. “And Eren…” She ran a hand through her hair, gripping the strands as if to choke them out. “Well, everyone knows Eren’s not in love with me, and I know that he never will be. He doesn’t even realize that I see him as more than family.” 

She was right. Eren had always made it apparent that she was like a sister to him, usually introducing her as such to new recruits. After about the third time it happened, you had taken note of how Mikasa’s hands had clenched into fists, the only indication that it bothered her at all. There was something that always pained you about watching it occur, though, like you knew Mikasa herself was hurting, too. 

She paused to see what you would say, but your thoughts were moving too fast to actually process anything. “Um, I still don’t understand, really.” You could tell she was getting frustrated that you weren’t following, and you worried that she would take it all back if you said the wrong thing. 

“Look.” Her hand dropped from her hair as she took a deep breath in, gathering her patience as best she could. “I know you like me, Y/N. And, I think I could like you, too, with time.” Your heart stopped. “You’re pretty, smart, and talented in the field, and I really can’t find anything wrong with you.” It was blunt and lacked any sense of romanticism, but it was Mikasa saying this, so your face bloomed with heat anyways. “I think… No, I believe that you could cure me. We just need to fall in love.” 

In the moment, you didn’t really see a downside. It seemed easy enough, and you’d get to be with Mikasa which was exactly what you had been craving for months now. But what you forgot, and ultimately what turned into your fatal flaw, is that love is never easy. 

Blinded by your rose-colored glasses, you agreed without hesitation, sending you to your doom with complete confidence. 

Once she heard the ‘yes’ slip out of your mouth, Mikasa’s lips were on yours. It was awkward and clumsy, and when she pulled away, her expression was bashful, a bit embarrassed. You were sure you looked the same. 

“Sorry,” she muttered. “That was my first kiss.” 

“Mine, too,” you confessed. 

It was bittersweet sharing your first kiss with Mikasa for you knew she had kissed you for a different reason than why you kissed her back. It was to prove something to herself, to force herself to jump into this so-called solution and not look back, and even though you knew that was the truth, your lovesick heart managed to convince you otherwise.

From that night on, Mikasa and you met in secret almost every night, discovering small clearings in the forest or simply sneaking into the other’s bed once the other girls were asleep. It was a dangerous game, but it was one you were happy to play. Sometimes, you even felt like you were winning. 

But on the nights that you lied in bed alone, your mind wondered if you had made the right choice. Sure, after a month or two, you noticed that Mikasa looked at Eren less and spent more time with other people, seemingly enjoying herself, but that time was never spent with you. Instead, even as you and Mikasa became closer in private, her public persona around you never changed. You were still the crushing girl staring longingly across the dining hall and never getting a glance back. Mikasa tried to tell you that she thought keeping it a secret made it more special, but you knew it was a lie. You could tell from how her eyes darted away when you whispered sweet things and how she always crawled out of bed first, preferring to be warmed by her sheets rather than you. 

Nothing brought you back to reality more, though, than when you accidentally said ‘I love you.’ It had been a couple of months since you had started this arrangement with Mikasa, and things had seemed to be going well for the most part. She appeared happy when she was with you, and that night she had brought you a carnation that she found on her trip off base. As she tucked it behind your ear with a small smile and found your eyes with her own, the words had slipped out before you could stop them. 

Even the crickets seemed to be silent as Mikasa stared at you. Her lips had parted in surprise, and her hand was stuck midair, on its way back to her side from your hair. 

You scrambled to fix the situation. “Uh, um, I don’t know why I said that.” But as you spoke the words, you knew it was a lie. You knew exactly why you told her you loved her, and it was because you did. Wholeheartedly, unabashedly, and without fear of the consequences. But now, seeing her struggle to find an acceptable expression to wear and response to speak, you wished you could take it back, swallow the words from the air and never speak them again. 

“Y/N…” She wouldn’t meet your gaze, and you suddenly began to hate yourself. 

“It’s fine,” you decided, choosing to lie to both you and her in hopes of protecting your fragile reality. “Just… just kiss me again.” 

And she did, and you kissed back. But once you were through, and Mikasa took her leave, you found yourself starting to choke, air unable to enter your lungs. In a desperate attempt to empty your chest of whatever had infected it, you coughed.

And Columbine fell to the floor.