Podcaster: Hi everybody. Today I'm out here to talk to the man on the street about a hot topic on the internet: MERIT.
At a passerby: Hey, hi. Do you have a minute to talk?
White lady: Oh, yeah, sure. Why not? Is this a podcast or something?
Podcaster: Yeah, it is! It's called TruthChud! and today I'm asking people to explain what "merit" means to them.
White lady: Well, I guess, it's mainly about being white and male, but, I think, class background and political bent have something to do with it too.
Podcaster: Ah, yes! I see you are well-informed on the subject! Can I ask you another question? Are you currently employed?
Podcaster: And did you have to go through a hiring process?
Podcaster (slightly skeptical tone): And do you believe your prospective employers hired you on merit??
White lady (a little defensive): Yes, I was the best person for the job.
Podcaster: And how do you know that?
White lady: Well, you know, most of the other candidates were Black women, who were either PhD candidates or former NASA pilots, so they were able to overlook my master's degree and 25 years of experience.
Podcaster: Ah, I see. So they gave you the job right away?
White lady (a little sheepishly): Well, no. I wasn't the first person offered the job.
Podcaster: OH! What happened?
White lady: Well, initially they gave the job to a white guy, who had credible allegations of sexual assault against him, but no convictions.
Podcaster (knowingly): OH! Well, how can you compete with that?!
White lady: I know! When you have a background check like that, who even needs to look at your resume?!
Podcaster: But, still, *you* got the job.
White lady: Well yeah, that guy ended up taking a better offer, so the AI interviewer called me back.
Podcaster: Well, lucky for you!
White lady: Yeah! *ha ha*
Podcaster: So just one more question...
(turns to camera) But first, if you like what I'm doing here at TruthChud! where we tell no lies, please like and subscribe!
(turns back): So, is everything you said here TRUE? No lies?
White lady (sheepish again): Well...I actually have 26 years of experience...
Podcaster (raising eyebrows): Oohh?!
White lady: Hey, you're gonna edit that out, right? I don't want to lose my job because I lied on my resume!
Podcaster (fading out): Yeah, no problem. We've all padded our resumes, right? I mean, hell, I don't actually know anything about using ChatGPT....