#message from mui

[muimui0625]

My Absence (an Update, long ass post)

Hey everyone! It's been a while, at least awhile in my eyes, to some a while is months but to me a while is a couple of weeks.

I hope everyone has been doing alright, caring for yourselves and creating. I wanted to make a longer post for those who follow me here and elsewhere addressing my absence and lack of responses to my posts and others.

To start, I apologize to those who have commented and said nice things about my work who have yet to receive a reply. I know it's a few words that may have taken less than a minute to write for some, but to me, they go a long way with keeping me motivated as they aren't easy to come by. I don't want to come off as someone who doesn't appreciate what others say, thus I cherish every comment I get, and do my best to remember those who show up. It makes me very happy to see the appreciation I get online for what I do.

That being said... I have hit a very bad art block recently, ever since my last post it has become increasingly harder to draw, specifically things ENA related. I have ADHD, thus, ENA is a hyperfixation of mine, it comes and goes, starting off strong with a lot of motivation, then dies down into a burnout. This isn't to say that I never will draw ENA again, nor am I stopping any time soon, but it is a warning to those who are expecting consistent artwork and developments on my headcanons/AUs/Junior.

Social media is an addiction I am trying to overcome, I worry about numbers too much and so I often immediately log off the moment I reply to someone as to not stay on for too long. As I get older, I want to live in the moment more, and that means taking a break form online to touch grass.

Thank you to everyone who follows me, enjoys my work, and will stick around wherever I go. I hope to break out of this sooner, and go back to posting ENA as the summer approaches! Take care!

Adding a Read More link underneath if anyone is looking for a deeper explanation, it helps if anyone was personally wondering why I go about the fandom the way I do.

There are of course reasons for why I fell into this beyond a hyperfixation dip, one being that I feel I have exhausted routes I could draw ENA for the time being without worrying I come off as a fan who breaks canon or takes things way too far to where I am no longer drawing what people came for. It is something many artists sign up for when drawing fanart and as much as I want to contribute to media I adore, It can be draining/stressful as it is fun. It often times makes connections feel fleeting, which I understand but nonetheless am saddened by.

I hold myself to a very rigid standard on how I draw and write the characters and this degree of perfectionism is a huge factor in motivation. That as well trickles into how I engage with numbers, I do not check them nor do I check follower count/comments (not to contradict my statement earlier), hence the lack of replies. I sometimes turn them off on other platforms to prevent the need to come back and check/stress over the amount of comments I receive.

On top of that, I have chosen in this fandom specifically to engage only with content from my mutuals and source material for personal reasons. I want to branch out and make more ENA friends, I want to interact more with ENA OC creators so I do plan on doing so in the future (most likely on IG). I just wanna find my spark again man, I wanna make some big AU or join w some ppl and make a fun AU. SOMETHINGGG! but yes thank u for listening to my yap its 12 in the morning and im running on 5 hours of sleep, take care guys! I hope this cleared up where I have been and why!