problems with sending bible verses and the judgement of teachers and the church and undertale
@metakazkz was one guy i shared it to. hes the one who made the abysstale and moonside comics, of course ill admit i admired him too much to the point of putting his au in my take on dustfell (witch i think i,m at a possablility to quit because i saw a video on judgement day that scared me ill explain later) but to all my christian friends. my pastor did pray for me sence i had wierd ocd like thoughts like "i,m this person" or that person and it was usally about fictional characters like some of them were from undertale stuff and from roblox piggy like the abysstale frisk and sans and alphys (and i didnt want them cause i thought it was making me out to claim it and i refused cause my identity is in christ not in fictional characters) and plus evolution isnt biblical, and he told me that the lord told him that i was listening and watching some dark things that open up the door to demons and i had to cut off certian things and i first thought it was undertale but i kept listening to it until i saw a youtube short on a rebellious girl going to hell, and it scared me cause it had a scene from a movie of her out of body expierence and it was her in an ambulance and then shes in hell screaming (not burning but probably going to somewhere where she would burn) and laying down and it shows us shes screaming as she slowly gose into an area in her torment area and it scared the MESS out of me for some reason cause all i saw was her going somewhere and her screaming, i dont know what part of it scared me but i dont wanna see it ever again cause of how scary it was. but in the end i cut off undertale music and the entire genre of undertale and aus as a whole out of fear of going to hell, then i began repenting everyday just to make myself "clean" incase id die one of my nights on earth cause our lives could end in a flash and tomorrow isnt garunteed then i made it to sunday by the grace of god, and in the end i go from cutting it off without any problem of doing so to being greived by the fact i might have to cut it off and never enjoy undertale and its genre ever again, and not just undertale and aus but also piggy and the reading moonside comic with metakaz. but then that fear where i have to get clean from sin before dying went away and everytime i,m outside my room out my house i,m always thinking id wanna go enjoy undertale and aus and piggy and moonside comic (witch is fnaf fan so thats why i also wouldnt wanna read it) but whenever i go back into my room or am in my room i would have that tired feeling and irretated a bit like i shouldnt do it, so i told this to my mom and she asked if this was some religous spirit on me. to me it probably could have been cause i think "i gotta get clean or i,m going to hell" whenever i repent and in doing so i think i made the mistake of trusting in my works to get right with god, and she told me that it wasnt like i was trying to rebel against god whenever i listen to that stuff unless gods trying to call me away from it to show me something about or saying "hey come here". so i went along with the same thing she said and said it to myself as well. but of course she said that was as long as i put jesus first and by first we mean our priority cause the lord should be priority, as a result i still enjoyed it (probably too much) but i had a tendancy cut off undertale and piggy and moonside comic ect from time to time as well as waiting for a week or longer until i can finally go back to it (though i did during those weeks think of undertale and all that stuff). then i saw videos on judgement day and it really scared me cause the main character who got judged had sin of divorce and adultry but what had me back in the fear is that he justified his sin. it scared me cause i,m looking back at what i said saying "its not like i,m trying to rebel against god when i enjoy it its only when it becomes an idol" and i probably think i did go that far and shoudlnt have, it scared me and now i feel like by saying all that i think and feel as if i was trying justifying it as sin and got exposed. ima reblog
