It's strange, Sunny is now the same age as Emma was when she died. Or rather, it's not so much strange as that it feels strange. Emma has stayed the same age for me ever since she died. It was easier to accept when I didn't have the direct comparison. But now, with every year that Sunny gets older, I'll be confronted with the truth: that Emma never got to get to that age. That she never got to do all those things that are hopefully waiting in Sunny's future.
At least, the older Sunny gets, the less I'm worried that I will still fuck her up somehow. She has grown into a remarkable young woman, Dave! You would be so proud of her, just as I am! I still don't quite know how she managed that with her messed up childhood but she's ... perfect, I think. Do all parents think so? I don't know. But I am amazed by her every day.
Is it all right if I'm a little bit proud of myself? I know I can't have had too much to do with her wonderfulness – hey, it's me after all! – but I hope I was able to help her grow into herself at least a little bit. Plus, she has to get her Otaku tendencies from somewhere, right?!
P.S.: I almost didn't realise … she's at a point now where she's lived almost half her life with you and half of it without you. From now on, the percentage of her life that she's spent with you will only grow smaller.* Of course I wish her the longest, happiest life possible but it still makes me sad somehow. I wish you could be here for her. For us.
* Well, it did that before, too, of course, but you know what I mean!
"#the only reason the bonus smut chapter of 'Under My Skin' exists#is because I was losing my sock and trying to get it back onto my foot again with the other foot and suddenly thought#'this is such a Hal thing to do'#and#'it would be hilarious if he does it even though he and Dave are about to bone and about to get out of their clothes anyway'"
Omg, I love it. That is indeed such a Hal thing to do.
Isn't it just? I'll shamelessly use this opportunity to share the actual bit in the story here. It's been a while since I've written Metal Gear but this florist/tattoo artist au was definitely a harbinger of the fluff stuff I write now XD
--
With the dog out of the way and both of them standing up, they pull and push each other in the direction of the bedroom with heated and sometimes rather sloppy kisses in-between.
“Wait! I’m losing my sock!”
Hal stops Dave with a hand grabbing his shirt and tries to get his sock to slide back onto his left foot with the other, not very successfully.
Dave frowns. “Hal … getting undressed is kind of the point here.”
Hal bites his lip in embarrassment. “Right. Heh. Sorry.” He feels even more heat creep into his cheeks but he also doesn’t miss the way Dave stares at his lips.
“Back to the point then…”
He fully removes the offending article of clothing and hops on one leg to take the other one off as well, holding onto Dave in the process, who bears it with saintly patience.
“Your turn.” Hal grins and grabs onto Dave’s socks with his bare toes.
Dave chuckles and shakes his head and Hal would be the first to admit that they are behaving ridiculously but if Dave doesn’t mind, why should he.
Dave complies and they are now both sockless and soon to be clothes-less and that is a bit daunting but also exhilarating.
“I really look forward to having sex with you.”
Dave’s voice is hardly more than a hoarse whisper by his ear but Hal can hear the smile in it, too, and he grins like the idiot he is because this is happening!
“You sure? I’m not exactly model material here …”
“Good thing I like ’em skinny, then.”
Dave is nibbling on his ear and it drives a currently very significant part of Hal crazy.
“Good thing I’m terribly superficial and like my men tall, handsome, and muscly,” he replies and pushes up Dave’s shirt, very much appreciating his abs and Dave’s gasp as Hal runs his hands over heated skin.
@nuandia: Okay, so here's the explanation about Nature 2.0 you asked for, hunny ;D
This one is my white whale, tbh. It's a Metal Gear solid AU that takes the ideas of cloning and genetic manipulation already present in canon a bit further into a dystopian future where society is divided into genetically enhanced people (the Two-Os, Supremes, Letties (derived from Les Enfants Terrible) ...) and the ones who were naturally born without enhancements (the Naturals, Trogs, Lennies (derived from Les Enfants Naturels) ...).
There is a conspiracy going on to eventually kill off all Naturals and an enhanced ex-soldier (Dave | Solid Snake) enlists natural-born genius Hal Emmerich to fight against it. And of course they fall in love, tragically.
It's a massive challenge because it's got worldbuilding and conspiracies and missions of infiltration and sabotage and narrow escapes and action scenes and death scenes and love scenes and a big cast and global plot ...
... and also I want to actually get in lots of juicy and clever canon references but canon is so fucking complex and abstruse that I only know like 3.4 % of it.
So yeah ...
It's a shame because I really like everything that I have written for this story so far (which is the beginning and the epilogue ... so just missing the 98% of the rest).
Snippet under the cut:
Hal was no more happy or any less afraid two days later but since he still hadn’t found an actual reason for denying his help that was compatible with his morality settings, there he was, trying to straighten his hair into something less of a mess and wearing his best clothes—which wasn’t saying much. He spat out the dent bots before the suggested two minutes were up because dental hygiene wasn’t exactly a top priority right now and the minty taste left him somewhat nauseous on his empty stomach. Or maybe that was the panic.
At least he’d get some proper food soon. He inhaled, waved the depressing mirror app on his wall away, and patted his shirt pocket. The credit chip seemed heavy despite its insignificant weight.
Another one was waiting for him at the end of this job. Credits that would buy him a new life. He’d just have to cling to that knowledge and do his best to come out on top so he’d actually get to enjoy that life.
“You look good,” Sunny’s cheerful voice said from the ceiling but Hal just grunted, shook his head and left the capsule with a murmured “See you later.”
There was even more rubbish littering the hallway than usual and something sticky attached to the underside of his shoe two steps from his door. Yeah, he couldn’t wait to get out of this dump.
He didn’t meet many people on his way through the dimly lit corridors of the biobuilding and the few he did he didn’t know and didn’t greet and they ignored him likewise. They all had the cheaply printed clothes in common and the bad haircuts and the dejected and somewhat angry look in their eyes that called them out as naturals even if their irregular facial structures and less than ideal bodies had not.
Hal squinted against the sun as he stepped outside. Some Two-O punks had scrawled new graffiti on the walls in angry letters.
Man is something that shall be overcome.
Nietzsche had become rather popular again, for obvious reasons, and this particular slogan was often found in anti-natural propaganda. It was familiar and ever present in the Nats but although Hal had never felt easy when he saw the words, he was shivering now. Because it drove home the fact that he was about to face a whole bunch of not just Two-Os but highly trained and specialised Two-Os that were bred as perfect soldiers. Made to overcome men like him. It was hybris to think he’d stand any chance if he ever got into their crosshairs. But then he didn’t think that.
Ironically, in all his ponderings, his inner debates, and his debates with Sunny, the thought that his abilities might be insufficient for the job had not once entered his mind.
Hal shook his head and dimly wondered whether those kids had taken the risk to write that in person or whether they’d sent a modded drone to do their work. But it didn’t really matter anyway. He hurried towards the gate, already being slightly late, to pass out of the Nats and into the city proper, leaving the decay and rot of his home behind. Although those districts bordering the clone-less lands weren’t exactly upmarket real estate either. But the houses looked better groomed, the air was sweeter, and genocide wasn’t a careless scrawl on dirty walls.
Ah that one. The au that is so far removed it's basically an original story ...
Okay, so once upon a time I was in the Metal Gear Solid fandom and wrote an au for my main ship that was spanning WWI and WWII. In that story, I made the sister of one of my guys into a wartime nurse. She's a brilliant engineer and hacker in canon but period typical misogyny happens and so she turns to a career of nursing.
As a joke, I introduced a patient for her to care for that originates in a completely different timeline from canon so not only do these characters never meet in canon, they're also like 50 years apart in age. So not exactly a ship that would immediately come to mind. But he's canonically lost an arm and a leg and it was a joke that was happening offscreen.
But as rareships sometimes do, those two wouldn't leave me alone and so I started writing their story because it was just so damn intriguing. But the story needed way more historical research than the original (which was mostly written in the form of letters) and had a readership of pretty much zero, and it all just seemed so much effort. And by now I've moved to jatp. But the story is still stuck in my head so who knows, one of these days it might still happen.
hey there! For the WIP challenge ask, with your theoretical WIP, what can you tell me about Nature 2.0?
Ah, the white whale I'm chasing. So this is for my former main fandom, Metal Gear Solid. I don't know if you're familiar with that video game series but I'll just assume no. It's sprawling, tactical, anti-war, anti-nuclear weaponry, completely batshit crazy, dealing with clones, and superhuman powers, triple spies and butts and robots and has one of the most beautiful and heartbreaking barely non-canon gay love stories ever.
While still actively in the fandom, I mostly just wrote about two very different but complementary guys hanging out and falling in love while being hunted as terrorists or starting an organisation to fight walking nuclear tanks. About all the mundane and loving and heartbreaking stuff.
THIS story though, wants to be epic, wants worldbuilding and adventure plot and fights and conspiracies and multiple characters and knowledge of canon I frankly just don't have.
It's a scifi AU where humanity is divided in the normal-born Naturals and the enhanced, genetically engineered new superior humanity, humans 2.0. It's about what it means to be human and what difference you can make. It's got eugenics and virtual reality and AIs and clones and is really really epic. In my head. I've written three chapters and the epilogue...
Okay, so technically @nuandia asked for this number first and I was wrecking my brain how to get Never Know from Bad Omens into a Julie and the Phantoms fic because of the sad breakup vibes (and already killing @merihn with the other angsty jatp fic idea) ...
But then you asked for it too and ...OMG it's totally a MGS4 Snake thinking he'll leave Hal and that he'll be the better for it, without having to watch Snake die. There probably already exist a million fics about that but yeah ... it fits perfectly, I think.
Show me you're better off without me
Choking on every word you said, we'll see, we'll see
Don't breathe another word about me
I'll leave and you can finally rest in peace, we'll see
When I go out into the world
I just don't like what I see
You could call it Paradise
But it looks just like Hell to me
Lying in between the memories choking me, and
I don't know which way to go, but I'm okay to never know
Lying in between the memories choking me, and
I don't know which way to go, but I'm okay to never know
You can still ask me for your very own fic idea I'll (probably) never write by sending me a number from 1-100 and I'll see which song it corresponds to on my Spotify Wrapped 2021 list...
Thank you for these questions, hunny! I finally got around to answering them ;D
👁- series or oneshots?
already answered here
✏️- favorite part about writing
Having written? XD
I think every writer lives for those moments where the words just flow and everything works and the sentences are brilliant and shiny instead of a muddy mess and you don't want to stop because you're in the zone. It doesn't happen all that often to me but when it does? Pure magic!
☕️- favorite passage
I moved this to the end because I decided I could spoil you (in every sense of the word) with some passages from Chapter 3 of Nature 2.0 since who knows when I'll be sharing that for real. And I really love that chapter for all the world building fun! But putting this under a cut in case you don't want to be spoiled (which would be totally okay of course <3)
*
He spat out the dent bots before the suggested two minutes were up because dental hygiene wasn’t exactly a top priority right now and the minty taste left him somewhat nauseous on his empty stomach. Or maybe that was the panic.
[...]
There was even more rubbish littering the hallway than usual and something sticky attached to the underside of his shoe two steps from his door. Yeah, he couldn’t wait to get out of this dump.
He didn’t meet many people on his way through the dimly lit corridors of the biobuilding and the few he did he didn’t know and didn’t greet and they ignored him likewise. They all had the cheaply printed clothes in common and the bad haircuts and the dejected and somewhat angry look in their eyes that called them out as naturals even if their irregular facial structures and less than ideal bodies had not.
Hal squinted against the sun as he stepped outside. Some Two-O punks had scrawled new graffiti on the walls in angry letters.
Man is something that shall be overcome.
[...]
Delivery and security drones swarmed over the city like bees, glinting in the sunshine. He could see the vertical forests of Portland’s centre from here, the hover bugs speeding by in regulated currents like flocks of birds, gracefully threading between the tall buildings with their windows drinking in sunlight, transforming heat into electrical energy, or those sold for buildingsized adboards trying to sell new mods and new AIs and the newest star-studded feelies.
[...]
Hal paid no attention to Coluber’s reaction and instead delved into the holo menu, selecting everything he fancied. They were gonna be partners and they were gonna be terrorists and going up against one of the mightiest military organisations of this planet soon. This whole thing could literally get them killed.
Now was definitely the time to eat all the fresh strawberries he could get.
