"I want to shatter every bone in your body and laugh as you struggle to pick yourself up again. You know, like what you did to my house. And my entire life, but let's not get into that." [Vik] (metalvsflesh)
tell jayce what you wanna do with / to him! // @metalvsfleshaccepting.
they just couldn’t go without their usual dose of bitterness, now could they? the dark look that suddenly takes over jayce’s expression is telling of how much the subject pleases him. if they were to get into details, the defender could come up with many, many excuses and explanations for that night. none of what happened had been what he wanted, what he had initially planned, but things got out of hand. he never wanted to destroy the place or ruin viktor’s career, but objectively, all of it had been his deeds and better than anyone, he knows that from facts there’s simply no escaping. his intent does not change what was cemented in history.
if the years between then and now have served him for anything, it had been to teach him that he now knows better at this time and age than to try to convince viktor of what he wanted when what he did was something unchangeable. he knows the damage he’s done, the grotesque way history had been shaped by that fateful night, and he knows how little he can do to repair it. people are unpredictable, foolish and resentful—and it seems that even with all his augments, the herald can’t escape that definition. but more importantly, jayce knows from that can’t control them and he doesn’t expect to, so he simply can’t ask for viktor’s forgiveness.
perhaps accepting his blame in all the chaos from that day is what gives him such insight, but more importantly, above all of that revelation, a simple fact remains—
he’s apologized once and really, just how far did that get them?
“i won’t question why you’d want that. i’m not stupid, i know why, but let me ask you a question: will that fix anything? take back what i’ve done?” is the only thing he can say, then, voice devoid of anger, just a sort of cold edge that coats each and every word; hollow in the finest sense of the word. as much as a part of him regrets all that happened, his wounded pride can’t let him simply keep the subject to that.
“tell me—you’ve always prized rationality. what’s the point of doing that, if not for a very emotional and human sort of satisfaction?”