Back in uniform. Out of options.
Anna Glass didn’t think she’d ever return to the Bureau. But now she’s stuck on top of a runaway train, surrounded by strangers, and the monster’s already screaming.
Welcome back to magical girl work. It’s just as bad as she remembers.
The low hum of electricity filtering through cheap overhead lights was the only sound in the cold Bureau office. The silence stretched on forever.
A receptionist and a young potential employee sat across from each other. There was an unspoken tension in the room. The young hopeful twirled her hair absentmindedly, her nervous energy showing.
The receptionist didn’t look up. Her eyes scanned the folder stamped: “M-UNIT #1119-B-2 #5422-A-3, ‘GLASS, A.’”
“Glass, correct?” The receptionist’s voice was tinged with a hint of vitriol.
“Y-yes, ma’am…” The young woman across from her responded meekly, as if her voice would be swallowed whole in the aching silence. “A-Anna Glass.”
“A returning hire.” The receptionist’s voice was filled with skepticism, and she made no effort to hide her eyebrow raising.
“You’re to be deployed to your new unit in the field immediately.”
Anna couldn't stop herself from jumping in her uncomfortable seat. “W-what...? Don’t I get some training first?”
“Training,” the receptionist’s response was full of judgement. “Is reserved for people who are actually new. It’s not for failures who come crawling back to us after leaving so abruptly.”
Before any more words could be exchanged, the folder was stamped. No more discussion.
Well. Get out there, soldier.
---
Anna Glass stumbled through the crowd, her feet unsteady under the weight of her own body. It wasn't like her to be so inelegant, but having to get right back onto the field filled her with a kind of anxiety she rarely got to feel.
She broke through the crowd and finally stepped onto the train platform, panting and a little overwhelmed.
She wasn't necessarily socially anxious… but she didn't like these crowded spaces just before a mission. Missions were already hard, gruelling work: it wasn't fun to be squished up against so many strangers just before one.
The train platform stood eerily silent and still. I thought the train was out of control? She thought to herself. It’s all quiet and peaceful here instead.
Almost as if on cue, the screeching sound of a train barrelling down the tracks sounded in her ears. She rushed to cover them as the train screamed its way closer to her. Now or never.
She flicked her wrist: the small, sky blue bracelet she wore began to shine. I hope this is a short transformation sequence!
A burst of blue sparkles exploded everywhere, followed closely by blue ribbons that wrapped themselves around Anna. She did the playful poses and cute winks she was trained to do - and internally begged it to hurry up this time.
Her outfit exploded into being: a blue dress with adorable puff sleeves, a cute bustled skirt that ended just below her knees, a corset and matching choker with accentuating bows, and of course, two large ribbons that tied her long orange hair up into two soft twin tails.
Oh god, it’s the same outfit as last time! She realized with horror. Too late to fight it now: this is her battle uniform, for better or worse.
The transformation sequence finally settled to reveal… no train.
Anna looked down the tracks.
Yup. It passed her. Great.
Anna braced herself - and then blue magic swirled around her. This magic was a springboard: she leapt from the platform to a nearby lamppost, then another, and another, inching closer and closer to the dangerously speeding train. How has this thing not derailed yet? She thought to herself as she trailed it.
Finally, her leapfrogging got her exactly above the last train car… and on top of it, she could see the vague shape of figures. That must be my new team. Don’t mess this up, me!
She released her magical energy, letting herself land right in front of her new team.
It would have been really cool… if she landed on her feet instead of her face.
---
The first thing she noticed was that her unique magic - a shield to cover her body and absorb some of the damage she takes - did not help make this impact hurt her back any less. She groaned as she sat up, trying not to make the back pain any worse.
The second thing she noticed were her teammates.
“Nice entrance!” A strange, scratchy voice called out. Anna immediately turned to face her new team.
There stood two humans - a man and a woman - and of course, a Keeper and an Eater. She had expected the Keeper and Eater; a Ghoul can’t be stopped unless the Eater is there to, well, eat them; and a Keeper was needed to make sure the Eater was in check. That was normal. But this Keeper, this Eater, this team? Now that was unusual.
The woman - already looking ragged - just gave Anna a quizzical look.
The man - who, by the way, had the most extravagant and over-the-top magical outfit Anna had ever seen - just stared at her skeptically.
The Keeper was… unusually cute. Like, “Why isn’t she in the marketing material?” levels of cute.
The Eater, on the other hand… Anna was already a bit put off by her.
Before Anna could say anything, the man approached her, a serious look on his face. She was immediately put off - but before she could even say “Hey, what the hell are you doing?” He reached over… and snapped his fingers swiftly in front of her face.
She yelped. He backed off, grinning. “It’s ok, guys,” He announced with a smirk. “She isn’t a reptilian.”
WHAT THE FUCK??? Anna thought to herself as she watched the woman roll her eyes. “Good to know, Jack.” The man - Jack, apparently - just laughed in response.
“Sabine,” the woman offered, nodding to Anna and offering her a hand. “Sabine Durand.”
Anna took her hand and let Sabine lift her up.
“This idiot,” Sabine pointed to the man. “Is Jack Hartley. Ignore him, you’ll save more braincells that way.” Jack laughed loudly at that, which startled Anna a bit.
“The Keeper is Chocola.” Sabine continued. The Keeper gave a small, polite bow to Anna. “And the Eater is…”
“CARAMELLA!” The same gravelly voice from before shouted out. The Eater - Caramella, apparently - had quite an unsettling voice. I suppose that’s typical of Eaters, Anna thought to herself.
“Alright, enough introductions.” Sabine’s expression hardened, and she turned her attention towards the shifting limbs in the distance. “Let’s take this Ghoul down already.”
The Ghoul roared - a horrible, mechanical screech that reverberated in Anna’s bones. The numerous limbs it had, slick with oil and spouting steam from every rusted mechanical joint, all writhed around in random directions.
“I suspect it’s a manifestation of anxiety, burnout and fatigue after a long work day,” Chocola spoke up. Her voice was quiet and soft. Sabine nodded in response.
The team all turned their attention to the Ghoul. Anna swallowed back her fear. Guess I’m back to doing this.
[Song: “Diversion” by The Equals]
“Positions!” Sabine barked.
Nobody moved.
“Well?” she snapped.
“I just got here!!” Anna yelped, stumbling backwards as the Ghoul finally noticed the team and lunged. Bursts of steam hissed from every joint on its wretched body, and the nearest hand - more like a broken train coupler than a human hand - swung toward her like a flail.
Anna just barely met it with her weapon - a plain, undecorated cutlass. The impact rang through her bones, and she staggered.
Jack dramatically stepped in front of her, letting his cape flow in the wind like this was a play. “Fear not, fair maiden! The world’s Number One UFOlogist is here to protect you from all e-”
Another writhing Ghoul hand struck him from the side mid-monologue.
“Can you do anything useful?” Sabine barked again, growing frustrated as she slashed an arm off with her long, jagged spear. Caramella gleefully ate the arm up as it fell.
The Ghoul reared back to stab Jack with its rusted metal hands - but Sabine struck first. She slammed her spear into the train beneath them, and chains burst from the train roof, snapping around the Ghoul’s limbs and anchoring them to the floor.
Anna slashed the now immobile arms right away, panic filling her expression. Caramella ate every arm with disgusting joy. Anna shivered at the sight, but tried to focus.
Jack staggered back to his feet, dazed but grinning. He brandished his own weapon - a long, ornate royal sceptre, and spun it wildly. It glowed, and a hypnotic pattern of spiralling red hearts emerged in the movement, pulsing like a hypnotist’s disc and catching the attention of the Ghoul… and Anna.
“See? I’m helping!” Jack cried out triumphantly - until Anna stepped in front of him, clearly affected by his magic.
“Oh, shit!” He yelped, dropping the illusion just as the Ghoul started lunging towards them.
“Goddamnit,” Sabine mumbled bitterly under her breath as she rushed over, slashing another pair of piston-jointed arms off for Caramella to devour.
“You two need to focus!” Sabine spat. Anna, still dazed from Jack’s magic, only groaned in response.
“I’m totally focused!” Jack yelled indignantly.
Sabine sighed again. “I’m ending this,” she declared.
She slammed her spear into the train with a heavy clang. Chains surged from the metal, wrapping the Ghoul’s twitching body like a straightjacket.
Sabine moved without hesitation, cleaving its last three arms clean off. They fell uselessly to the ground and were snatched up by Caramella in seconds, who devoured them with manic glee.
The Ghoul’s body collapsed in a heap of grinding gears and wheezing exhaust, twitching like a dying engine. It let out pitiful cries, half-mechanical and half-human in sound. Sabine didn’t hesitate. She slashed it with five quick swipes, dicing it up into pieces. Caramella ate them all with a sick glee.
The last scrap of the Ghoul’s grotesque body disappeared into Caramella’s smiling mouth with a loud crunch. For a moment, all that remained was steam and the hum of train wheels beneath them.
Ghoul hunt: complete.
---
---
The train screeched to a halt - finally under control now that the Ghoul was eaten.
Frightened passengers filed out of the train cars. Oh god, there were people in there that whole time??? Anna thought, her mind still racing.
She glanced over at her new teammates.
Sabine was busy cleaning Ghoul ichor off her vest. Chocola was poised, licking her paw to smooth out her fur. Jack gave an over-the-top smile and a thumbs up. Caramella was... eating a shoe...? Where did she even get that...?
A strange group to be sure - but they got the job done.
Episode 02: Three's a Crowd, Five is Just Insanity
[We're pretty sure these apartments are only built for two.]
Bureau rules say all magical teams must live nearby - which is how Anna finds herself stuck back in the neighbourhood she thought she'd escaped for good.
It doesn't help that her new team is entering screaming matches the moment they see each other.
[Song: Isle Unto Thyself by Miracle Musical]
Anna heaved her suitcase down the narrow hallway of her old apartment building, the strap of her messenger bag digging into her shoulder. The linoleum floor peeled slightly near the stairwell, and someone’s music blared faintly from behind a closed door. She didn’t look back.
Her apartment - bare now, save for the dust outlines where furniture once sat - smelled like stale ramen and old radiator heat. The kind of smell that clung to you without asking. She locked the door behind her for the last time and didn’t bother to double-check it. Let the landlord deal with it.
Outside, the city was already half-waking, heavy with the drag of a morning commute. Anna stood alone at the intersection, her breath curling faintly in the air, the transformation bracelet on her wrist catching the light like an accusation. She shoved her hand into her coat pocket, trying to hide it as best she could.
It was a long, lonely walk to the GO station. Pigeons scattered from the sidewalk as she passed, and a man smoking outside a convenience store gave her a long, unreadable look. She lowered her head, hoping her occupation wasn't obvious, and kept walking.
She arrived at the platform early. Barely anyone was waiting there yet. The benches were cold and clammy in the morning air. A teenager sitting nearby, one of the few waiting there with her, noticed the charm on her wrist and nudged her friend, whispering something with a malicious smile. Anna didn’t flinch, but she pulled her sleeve down a little further and stared down the tracks, hoping the train came soon.
Eventually, the train arrived in a loud rush - doors hissing open, a blur of motion and announcements. She boarded with her bags and found a window seat, alone. The train wasn’t full, but it wasn’t empty either. Mostly commuters. Tired faces. People heading into the core of Toronto, into some other kind of battle that Anna was not equipped to even think about tackling herself.
As the train pulled away from the station, Anna leaned her forehead against the glass and watched her old neighborhood fall away behind her. Brick buildings. Graffiti. The corner store with the broken "OPEN" sign still flickering. Such a stark difference compared to her childhood neighborhood, and yet she had been there long enough to feel like it still might have been home.
Her reflection in the glass didn’t look like a hero. Just a young woman with too many bags and not enough sleep.
The ride was long. Suburbs blurred into strip malls, parking lots into forests, then into apartment clusters again before transitioning back to a sea of trees. And then, as the signs of civilization began to rise again… she saw it. The Etobicoke Bureau apartment complex. Boxy, clean enough, obviously government-issued. Not ugly, but not welcoming either. It looked like what it was: a place you were placed in, not a place you chose.
As the train slowed to a halt, Anna adjusted her grip on her bag and exhaled, like she’d been holding her breath since the moment she locked that door all the way back in Pickering. She shuffled to move her suitcase and hoped everything was going to go well.
Time to move in.
---
Anna stepped off the train with a quiet grunt, bracing herself against the wind as she hefted her suitcase down onto the platform. Her coat flapped behind her, and the wheels of her suitcase thudded over the uneven concrete as she made her way toward the station doors. The sky over Etobicoke was overcast and pale that day. It made everything feel a little flatter. Or maybe that was just her mood. God, I hope it doesn't rain!
"Yo! Ann!" a voice called, warm and friendly, cutting through the noise of the people shuffling in and out of the station.
She turned just as Jack bounded into view, arms spread like he was welcoming a long-lost sibling. He wore a ratty hoodie overtop of what looked like a stained t-shirt, like someone had told him layering was trendy and he just ran with it. Despite everything, she smiled faintly.
"Oh good," she said, her voice betraying her exhaustion. "You got my text." Exchanging numbers was all the team had time to do before they had to rush to grab their things and move, and Anna visibly relaxed knowing she didn't mess up while taking his down.
"Yup!" he beamed. "Also I was staking out the station just in case you didn’t text. Let me!" He darted forward and grabbed her suitcase before she could object. "Research gives you strong arms. Let me handle it!"
She didn’t fight him on it. Honestly, she was too tired to argue. This was already exhausting, and the actual moving process hadn't even started yet.
They walked side by side in companionable quiet for a few blocks - her with her messenger bag slung tightly across her chest, him struggling just slightly to maneuver the suitcase around a crumbling curb.
"So," Jack said eventually, "how do you feel about your new home?"
"I haven’t seen it yet."
"Well," he said cheerily, "then you’ll love the mystery. "
Anna gave him a tired, lopsided smile. "Jack, I’ve lived in the area before. I know what the apartments are like."
"Okay, okay," he laughed, "it’s fine! It’s got… walls. Plumbing. Mostly. Oh, and a living room so full of personality it might qualify as a separate entity. I have to check the energy levels with my equipment to be sure."
She didn’t respond to that, and he cast her a sidelong glance.
"You good?"
"I’m fine. Just… tired."
Jack didn’t press. He just nodded, adjusted his grip on the suitcase, and kept walking. Huh, I guess he has quiet moments too…
They passed a few more blocks in silence before their building finally came into view. It was a squat concrete thing, with ivy climbing all across the sides and a front door that had definitely been kicked open more than once.
"Welcome to paradise," Jack said as he opened the door with an exaggerated bow. Anna couldn't help but giggle at his theatrics. At least someone is happy to be here.
Inside, the chaos hit like a wall. The sound of Caramella skittering somewhere overhead. Sabine’s voice rising sharply. Something about toilet paper. Chocola was perched on top of the fridge and just nodded politely at her. Anna hesitated in the doorway.
Jack, still holding her suitcase, didn’t even flinch.
"Oh good," he said brightly, "they waited for us to start." He plopped himself into a beanbag chair - already waiting, and definitely not Bureau-issued.
---
Not even five minutes into cohabitation, and the first real fight had broken out - over toilet paper, of all things.
Sabine stormed out of the bathroom with fire in her eyes and the incriminating object held aloft like evidence in a courtroom. "Are you fucking kidding me?"
Jack barely looked up from his beanbag throne. "What? It makes the most sense to keep the toilet paper on the floor so it can absorb the Earth’s energy and clean your ass better."
Sabine's eye twitched. "We have a perfectly good roll holder RIGHT THERE."
Anna, quickly sitting awkwardly on one of the lumpy couch cushions, perked up with wide eyes and concern - the kind of concern that only came from being too used to mediating petty fights like this. "Guys - let’s just put a roll in each place! Then we’re fine, right?"
"No, we are not doing that," Sabine snapped, clutching the now slightly wrinkled roll like it had personally offended her.
Jack lazily gestured toward her, grinning. "Hate to say Sabby’s right - "
"Don’t call me that."
" - but she’s right that it can’t be both. It has to be the floor."
"No the fuck it hasn’t," Sabine snapped, voice rising to a simmering boil. "I am not allowing this." At this, Sabine slammed the bathroom door.
Oh no, Anna felt a knot form in her stomach. I hope this tension doesn't last…
---
New scene. Another problem.
"HARTLEY."
Jack barely had time to blink before Sabine’s voice boomed down the hallway, rattling the peeling baseboards and making Anna flinch from her perch on the arm of the couch.
"Yeah??" he called back, suspiciously casual.
"WHAT IS THIS." Sabine stood next to the thermostat like it had insulted her entire bloodline. One accusatory finger jabbed toward the glowing display.
Jack peered around the corner, hands in his hoodie pockets. "Thermostat."
"You smartass. I’m talking about this fucking temperature, you monster."
Jack blinked. "What’s wrong with it?"
Sabine turned toward him like she was about to commit a crime. "WHAT’S WRONG - HARTLEY. You’re going to FREEZE us to death with the temperature this low!"
She moved to crank the dial higher, but Jack bolted upright with surprising speed. "WAIT! It needs to be cold to preserve the alien placentas!"
There was a beat of horrified silence.
"…The fucking what?" Sabine asked, deadpan and not blinking.
Anna, now visibly sweating despite the chill in the air, tried to intervene, voice weak. "U-uh… c-can’t we keep the alien… things… in the fridge? If it needs to be cold?"
"NO!" Jack and Sabine barked in unison - Sabine out of instinctual defiance, Jack with sheer passion for his weird, "alien placentas" - a dollar store squish blob collection that he swore had interstellar origins.
---
Jump cut. Same apartment, new battlefield: the living room.
Anna stood in the middle of the room, blinking down at a series of increasingly questionable sculptures made of folded paper, tinfoil, wires, and what might have once been an old coat hanger. Several pieces were stacked precariously in front of the TV. A few others had somehow been suspended from the ceiling by string and hope alone.
"Uhm… Jack, what’s this?" she asked, carefully nudging a teetering triangle of folded newspaper with the tip of her shoe.
Jack beamed from his beanbag throne, legs crossed, clearly pleased with himself. "Oh this?" He grabbed a few random pieces and tossed them in the air like confetti. "This is my corner of brilliance. Still under construction, but once it’s done - boom! The perfect hub for my research!"
"Research?" Anna asked, already regretting it.
"Into the aliens, of course!" Jack’s grin widened with purpose. "And not to mention the secrets of the Bureau. But don’t tell anyone I said that one. Eyes everywhere , you know." He tapped the side of his nose, serious now.
Anna laughed nervously, wringing her hands. "I don’t think Sabine will like this."
"Sabby never likes anything I do!" Jack said, waving it off. "Even though this is for everyone’s own good!"
As if summoned by the very mention of her name, Sabine stormed in from the hallway with all the subtlety of a police raid.
"DON’T CALL ME THAT." Her eyes scanned the mess of "artifacts" and "installations." "AND WHAT THE HELL IS THIS?!"
Anna stepped in quickly, hands raised. "Sabine, please, it’s okay! W-we can maybe partition the room? Separate spaces, like a shared studio?"
"WE ARE NOT DOING THAT," Sabine snapped. "Hartley, take your stupid shit down before I break it for you."
Jack gasped, scandalized. "Hey! These are one of a kind! If you break the aesthetics, it throws the whole energy balance off!"
Sabine didn’t even look back. She walked straight into the kitchen, voice flat and furious over her shoulder:
"I cannot stand you. I cannot wait to be reassigned again, holy shit."
Anna stood frozen between them, one hand still half-raised in peacekeeping mode, surrounded by a cardboard doomsday machine and a pair of googly-eyed "alien recon scouts" made out of juice boxes.
---
New scene, new standoff: the bedroom hallway.
Jack hurled a cardboard box through the door of the largest room in the apartment like he was planting a flag on the moon. It bounced off the far wall and skidded across the floor, knocking over a precarious stack of more "research materials."
"I call dibs!" he announced proudly, marching inside with two more boxes under his arms.
Sabine stopped dead in the hall, her eye twitching like a warning siren.
"Are you fucking serious right now?"
"I’m always very serious!" Jack replied, spinning theatrically as he took in the space. "You don’t understand how crucial this room is. Look at all this wall real estate - I need somewhere to hang the artwork to ground the psychic energies! My EMFs will be blaring all night if I don’t get the room with the best vibes!"
He gestured to a slightly crooked piece of cardboard with scribbled symbols on it and what looked like glitter glue accents. "Besides, all you brought is a single travel bag and a toolkit. You’ll be fine!"
Sabine clenched her jaw so hard the muscles in her temple twitched. "You are so infuriating that if I was a worse person, I would be bashing your skull in with my wrench right about now."
Anna had been hovering in the hallway behind them, holding a lamp in both arms like a white flag. Her voice came out a little too high, a little too shaky. "W-well, let’s try to be nice and share the space, okay? Let’s not threaten each other with wrenches…?"
Jack waved her off without turning around. "Besides, she couldn’t hit me with it even if she tried. Mella’s already eating it."
"What?" Sabine spun around, and sure enough -
Caramella was crouched contentedly by the doorframe, hands wrapped around Sabine’s toolkit, gnawing determinedly on a wrench like it was a turkey leg.
"HEY!" Sabine bolted after her as Caramella let out a delighted giggle and scampered off, dragging the kit behind her like a stolen suitcase.
Jack exhaled peacefully, dropped another box on the floor, and began mentally rearranging the room.
Anna just stood there in the hall, still holding the lamp, blinking at the rapidly fading sounds of Sabine yelling and Caramella cackling as they disappeared down the hall.
Her smile twitched. "I… love teamwork."
---
Jump cut. Living room. The thermostat glows softly on the wall like it’s proud of itself.
"UUUGHHHH!" Sabine groaned, the sound ragged and rising as she jabbed furiously at the thermostat buttons.
Anna looked up from the stack of boxes she was trying to sort and gave her a concerned tilt of the head. "What’s wrong, Sabine?"
Sabine whirled around, flinging her arms out toward the wall like it had personally insulted her. "WHAT’S WRONG??? THIS STUPID THERMOSTAT ISN’T CHANGING ANYMORE!"
Anna blinked, then stepped a little closer, squinting at the display. The numbers weren’t budging, and something about the finish looked… off. She leaned in, puzzled.
"Uhm… I don’t mean to sound rude but… do you need glasses?"
Sabine stiffened, her head snapping around like she’d been slapped. "NO!" she barked, eyes wide and defensive.
Anna flinched. "I just - sorry, I just meant - um - it looks like…" She reached up and gently tapped the plastic. It made a hollow clunk. "…it’s a decoy."
A pause.
Sabine’s entire face went red. "ARE YOU KIDDING ME???" she shrieked, then spun around and stormed off so fast she nearly knocked over a stack of books.
Anna stood there frozen, her hand still hovering awkwardly in the air. Her lip wobbled for just a moment as she forced out a breath, eyes misting over.
"It’s okay," she whispered to herself. "It’s all going to be - "
She looked up, but Sabine was already gone.
"…okay," she finished, more to the empty air than anything else.
The fake thermostat blinked serenely behind her. Anna sniffled and turned away. This was all getting to be far too much.
---
The apartment rang with the sound of shouting.
"Guys - please…" Anna’s voice barely rose above a whisper, caught between them like paper in a wind tunnel.
Sabine’s voice crashed through the hallway like a brick through glass. "I DON’T FUCKING GET YOU, ASSHOLE!" she bellowed, storming after Jack, her hands clenched into white-knuckled fists. "You’re just making a bunch of problems for everybody and making up stupid bullshit to justify it!"
Jack’s smile - usually unshakable, usually so irritatingly smug - finally faltered. "Oh really?" he snapped back, his voice sharp and rising. "It’s all just bullshit now, right? So me helping get the kitchen sorted - me getting Anna set up in her room - that means nothing to you because I put up a few silly alien statues?"
Anna’s hands tightened around her teacup. "Wait - no, please…"
"OH, CONGRATS, SIR!" Sabine spat, mock-clapping. "You’ve done the bare minimum! Way to go! Good for you! Should I go kissing your fat disgusting ass and singing your fucking praises now just because you can put shit away? "
Jack stiffened. "HEY!" His voice raised, a bitter hurt evident in his now booming voice. "YOU DON’T GET TO CALL ME FAT!"
Anna was trembling now, her breath coming short. Her teacup slipped from her hands and shattered on the kitchen tile.
The noise hit the room like a slap, and the yelling was replaced with a sudden silence that seemed to thicken the air.
"Please stop this," she choked. "I can’t - "
Anna turned and bolted from the room, her footsteps echoing in the hallway. She disappeared into the bathroom and slammed the door behind her. A second later came the click of the lock. Then more silence.
A silence that only lasted a few seconds before -
"Nice going," Sabine snapped, arms crossed.
"Oh, me?" Jack shot back. "You’re the one who started screaming first!"
And the shouting resumed, echoing off the walls of an apartment that was starting to feel way too small.
Behind the bathroom door, Anna sank to the floor, her hands over her ears, trying to breathe through the tightness in her chest. The muffled voices outside still fought. She tried not to listen. Tried to disappear.
---
Anna sat curled on the cool tile floor of the bathroom, shoulders shaking as she cried into her hands. The sound of fighting from the other room had faded to muffled echoes. But the feeling - tightness in her throat, the heat behind her eyes - stayed.
She flinched when something above her let out a horrible, metallic screech.
With a sniff, she looked up - and recoiled as the bathroom vent above the mirror creaked open with a shuddering, metallic groan. A strange little head poked out, framed by wild orange hair, topped by ridiculously large horns, and sporting glowing multicoloured eyes.
"Hey." Caramella blinked at her, standing on all fours in the vent opening.
Anna’s voice came out raw. "What do you want?"
Caramella recoiled slightly at the harsh tone but didn’t retreat. She blinked again, this time more softly, and leaned further into the room, her striped tail curling lazily behind her. "You doin’ alright?"
Anna let out a shaky laugh that didn’t reach her eyes. "Do I look okay?"
Caramella tilted her head, a small smile tugging at the corners of her sharp little mouth. "Hah. Yeah. I guess you’re a bit of a mess right now." She swung her tail lightly, the tip twitching. "I don’t blame you. That was an ugly fight to have on the first day."
Anna looked up at her - confused, unsettled by how gentle she was being. "…Why are you here?"
"Oh! I wanted to offer you something." Caramella turned and disappeared back into the vent with a rustle and a few clunking sounds, then popped back out, dragging something bulky behind her. With a soft fwump , she dropped a small pile of blankets onto the bathroom floor in front of Anna. They were a bit dusty from the vent crawl, but clearly soft, folded with care.
Anna blinked. "…What?"
Caramella dropped down and landed on all fours with a soft thud on the pile. "I’m very good at making comfort nests," she said proudly, standing up on her hind legs. "Want one?"
She grabbed one of the blankets with her strange little hands - Are those fingers or claws? - and toddled toward Anna with surprising gentleness, eyes bright but no longer manic. "It helps me when I feel bad."
Anna hesitated… then gave the smallest, almost imperceptible nod.
Caramella got to work, wrapping the blanket around Anna’s shoulders, tucking it carefully, almost ritualistically. She wasn’t chaotic now. Just present. Calm.
"You know," Caramella said, "it works best if you let all the crying out."
Anna sniffled, her voice almost too quiet to hear. "If I do that it would be… really embarrassing."
Caramella laughed, warm and gentle. "I’m a two-foot-tall plush toy that smells like rotten cheese and looks like I just strolled out of a Hot Topic. I promise you, the only person who’s gonna be seen as an embarrassment here is me."
That drew a small, wet chuckle from Anna, though more tears welled up behind it. Her voice broke again.
"It’s just…" she whispered, wiping her nose on the blanket, "It was so easy with Bella. When I moved in with her, it was like… like we were always meant to live together like that." Her breath hitched as she spoke. "And I left her behind… and now this new group is all at each other’s throats before we even got to know each other, and I just…"
She couldn’t finish. The words dissolved into sobs, and she curled tighter into the nest Caramella had built.
Caramella didn’t say anything at first. She just watched her, eyes wide and thoughtful, then glanced away.
Anna’s voice returned, smaller, broken. "I thought - I thought it would be easier, because there’s three people here instead of just two or one. But now it’s like - it’s like everything I expected or hoped didn’t turn out, and I’m not good enough to stop the fighting when it happens, and I just feel so…"
Her voice gave out again, lost in a wave of crying.
Caramella looked at her for a long moment, her expression unreadable. Then, softly:
"If it helps… I don’t think anybody here wanted any of this to go this way."
She hesitated. "I’m not good at this… soothing thing. But I think…" She paused, searching for the right words. "...I think the others would really appreciate it if you checked in on them. They all really like you, you know."
Anna peeked out from the blanket nest, eyes red, nose pink, breath finally stabilizing. "…You think so?"
Caramella was already backing up toward the vent. "Oh, I know so." She launched herself up onto the sink before leaping again and somehow grabbed hold of the bottom of the vent. She heaved herself into it with a grunt before turning to disappear into the vent again.
She paused suddenly, turned back towards Anna, and gave one final thought. "Don’t tell them I said any of that, though."
And then she vanished with a flick of her tail, the vent clanging softly with each scampering footfall.
Anna sat in the middle of the bathroom floor, still wrapped up in the makeshift nest Caramella had left her in. The quiet settled around her like steam after a long shower - warm, weighty, and slightly unreal. Her cheeks were blotchy and her makeup was a mess, but her tears had finally stopped. Her breathing slowed. Her shoulders had stopped shaking.
She glanced up at the vent, its cover now holding on by just one screw, the metal edges still bent awkwardly from where Caramella had pushed her way in and out. The room was still.
"Thanks," Anna whispered, though Caramella was long gone.
After a moment, she shifted out of the blankets and stood up slowly, her knees stiff from sitting too long on the hard tile. She paused, looking down at the soft pile around her, and picked up one of the blankets - dusty at the edges but still warm from her body. She clutched it to her chest for a moment, then folded it awkwardly and placed it on the bathroom sink, unsure what else to do.
She wiped her face with a damp towel. It didn’t fix much, but it made her feel a little less like she was falling apart. With one last deep breath, she walked to the bathroom door, opened it, and stepped out into the quiet apartment.
---
The living room was quiet now, the kind of stillness that feels like a breath held too long.
Sabine was sunk into the couch, legs spread and knees slightly trembling from held-in frustration, a pillow slapped over her face like a makeshift blindfold. She let out a loud, exhausted sigh - half anger, half surrender.
Anna stood in the hallway a moment, wringing the hem of her sleeve between her fingers before tiptoeing in.
She perched gingerly on the edge of the couch, just close enough to make it clear she was trying, but far enough not to intrude.
"Uhm… hey there," she offered softly.
"Hey," Sabine replied, her voice muffled by the pillow. She didn’t move.
"I’m… sorry things haven’t really gone smoothly," Anna said.
"It’s fine."
The silence after that was awkward. Anna stared at the floor. She twisted her bracelet absentmindedly around her wrist, trying to come up with something else to say. Anything that didn’t sound completely useless.
After a beat, Sabine lifted the pillow from her face and let it fall into her lap. Her eyes were heavy with regret, the sharpness dulled by pure emotional exhaustion.
"I… should apologize," she said. "To you. And that Hartley kid."
Anna turned toward her, surprised.
"I’ve been…" Sabine waved her hand vaguely, searching for the right word. "Honestly, I’ve been a bit of a bitch here. You guys are all so…" She gestured again, this time more like she was trying to juggle a dozen invisible puzzle pieces. "Different. Quirky, is the word, I guess."
She shook her head with a tired sigh.
"I don’t know. But I’m thinking about it, and… being cruel isn’t gonna help us get settled here any quicker. I regret that." She looked over at Anna, the edge of a worn-out smile forming. "I… respect that you tried to help, kid."
Anna blinked. "Oh!"
She looked away quickly, cheeks tinged pink, fingers still fidgeting with her bracelet.
"Uhm… thank you," she whispered.
It was a quiet moment, simple and unpolished, but there was honesty in it. A step forward. A small patch in something still fragile.
---
Jack sat cross-legged on the floor of his room, hunched over something small and papery in his hands. He worked furiously, tape stuck to his fingers, his focus razor-sharp. Unlike his usual self, there was no smirk, no teasing grin - just silent concentration and tightness around his eyes.
Anna hovered at the doorway, hesitant.
"U-uhm… may I come in?"
Jack looked up quickly, forcing a smile that didn’t quite reach his eyes. "Sure! Come to see my research?"
She stepped in quietly and sat beside him on the floor. The room was mostly empty - no proper furniture, no bed, just a rumpled sleeping bag in the corner like an afterthought. She noticed, but said nothing.
"What are you working on, anyways?" she asked.
Jack held up the little object in his hands. "Oh, this?" He waved the miniature paper UFO proudly. "It’s a saucer. The final piece for my magnum opus!"
He gestured grandly toward the makeshift desk in front of him. It wasn’t a real desk at all - just flattened cardboard boxes taped together, covered in layers of paper sculptures and doodles. Perched across its surface was a bizarre paper diorama: aliens frolicking in meadows, petting cows, one of them reclining in a lawn chair with a tiny book made from notebook paper scraps.
Anna stared at it, struggling to form a polite response. "Uh… it’s… creative!"
Jack chuckled, but it was subdued. "Hah, yeah, well…" He hunched back over the desk, tearing a piece of tape with his teeth. "I know it’s hard to understand. I don’t blame you if you don’t get it."
He kept his eyes on the model, fingers moving a little slower now. "I know I’m not the easiest to understand. I just hope you all know I’m… trying."
Anna opened her mouth, then paused. Nothing she could think of felt like the right thing to say.
Jack sat up suddenly, putting his performative tone back on. "Oh! That’s right!"
He rummaged through a pile of cut paper and tape scraps, then turned toward her and gently pressed something into her hand.
"A gift," he said, almost too casually, then turned back to his work without waiting for a reaction.
Anna looked down. It was a paper butterfly - neatly folded out of blue construction paper, taped carefully in the center. Delicate, fragile. Handmade.
"Oh," she whispered. She looked at it for a long moment, then back at him. "Thank you. I… I like it."
Jack grinned - this time, the smile was real. "Good! I’ll make more. You can start your own diorama empire."
Anna fumbled with a laugh, caught off guard. "Oh, uh, no… no, that’s okay!"
They both smiled, the air finally feeling a little lighter.
---
[Song: Toynbee Tiles (2021 Mix) by The Scary Jokes]
The three humans sat in awkward silence in the living room.
Anna and Sabine were side by side on the couch, stiff and uncertain. Jack was on the floor, legs crossed, nervously picking at the edge of the rug.
Then, with theatrical force, Chocola marched into the room carrying a pizza box and slammed it onto the table in front of them.
She hopped up onto the table, placing her tiny paws on her hips with authoritative poise.
"You have all been exhausted, drained, and stressed from moving," she declared. "I need you all to make up and eat, and from there we can start again."
Silence.
Anna opened her mouth to say something - anything - when Jack suddenly piped up, cheerful and oblivious to tension as ever.
"Well, this isn’t getting any less awkward!" He turned to Sabine. "Sabby - "
Sabine visibly bristled.
" - I apologize for being difficult about our living arrangements," he continued. "My very complex and very real technologies may be integral to the success of our living space, but I admit they are large and maybe just a little bit invasive in the shared zones. I’ll keep them in my room."
He hesitated, then added, more gently, "And we can keep the heat up, if that helps. I’ll move the samples to my cooler."
Anna turned to Sabine, hopeful. Even Chocola leaned forward slightly, as if trying to will her into answering kindly.
Sabine was quiet for a beat. She let out a breath.
"I would really prefer it if you didn’t call me Sabby," she said, voice level.
Jack nodded. "Fair. Is Sab acceptable?"
"... Yeah, whatever. And…" She paused again. "I’m sorry. I was being a bitch. I didn’t… mean what I said."
Jack raised an eyebrow. "What, about me being a useless, fat asshole?"
Sabine winced. "…Yes. I’m sorry for that."
Jack shrugged. "Eh. You’re not wrong."
Anna glanced at him, visibly concerned, but her shoulders were finally starting to relax.
Chocola gave a soft nod, her voice warmer now. "Good work, you two. You’ll be great teammates yet. Just try to give each other grace, okay?"
All three nodded.
"Excellent," she said brightly. "You’ve now earned your pizza reward!"
She stepped aside with a flourish - only to reveal the table was now empty.
Jack stared. "Where’s the damn pizza?"
Chocola blinked. "Oh no…"
All heads turned toward the kitchen.
The pizza box lay tipped on its side, open and empty.
Caramella sat on the counter triumphantly with the very last slice halfway into her mouth. She shoved the whole thing in at once and stared back, wide-eyed, unapologetic.
Sabine shot to her feet with explosive speed. "YOU LITTLE SHIT!"
Caramella shrieked with glee and bolted, long tail whipping behind her as Sabine charged after her through the hallway, swearing.
character i designed for mggu whose entire character can be described as "if eric cartman and wendy testaburger had the worst possible baby imaginable". i love her btw
