and we're live! welcome to episode one of 'masc off,' where we discuss masculinity and queer themes in steven spielberg's 'jaws (1975)', just in time for the fiftieth anniversary of its release. did you know it's a pretty good movie? crazy. tinyurl.com/fcjjhxxs
“But now, thus says the Lord, who created you, O Jacob, And He who formed you, O Israel: ‘Fear not, for I have redeemed you; I have called you by your name; You are Mine’.” ― ISAIAH 43:1 NKJV
Back in uniform. Out of options.
Anna Glass didn’t think she’d ever return to the Bureau. But now she’s stuck on top of a runaway train, surrounded by strangers, and the monster’s already screaming.
Welcome back to magical girl work. It’s just as bad as she remembers.
The low hum of electricity filtering through cheap overhead lights was the only sound in the cold Bureau office. The silence stretched on forever.
A receptionist and a young potential employee sat across from each other. There was an unspoken tension in the room. The young hopeful twirled her hair absentmindedly, her nervous energy showing.
The receptionist didn’t look up. Her eyes scanned the folder stamped: “M-UNIT #1119-B-2 #5422-A-3, ‘GLASS, A.’”
“Glass, correct?” The receptionist’s voice was tinged with a hint of vitriol.
“Y-yes, ma’am…” The young woman across from her responded meekly, as if her voice would be swallowed whole in the aching silence. “A-Anna Glass.”
“A returning hire.” The receptionist’s voice was filled with skepticism, and she made no effort to hide her eyebrow raising.
“You’re to be deployed to your new unit in the field immediately.”
Anna couldn't stop herself from jumping in her uncomfortable seat. “W-what...? Don’t I get some training first?”
“Training,” the receptionist’s response was full of judgement. “Is reserved for people who are actually new. It’s not for failures who come crawling back to us after leaving so abruptly.”
Before any more words could be exchanged, the folder was stamped. No more discussion.
Well. Get out there, soldier.
---
Anna Glass stumbled through the crowd, her feet unsteady under the weight of her own body. It wasn't like her to be so inelegant, but having to get right back onto the field filled her with a kind of anxiety she rarely got to feel.
She broke through the crowd and finally stepped onto the train platform, panting and a little overwhelmed.
She wasn't necessarily socially anxious… but she didn't like these crowded spaces just before a mission. Missions were already hard, gruelling work: it wasn't fun to be squished up against so many strangers just before one.
The train platform stood eerily silent and still. I thought the train was out of control? She thought to herself. It’s all quiet and peaceful here instead.
Almost as if on cue, the screeching sound of a train barrelling down the tracks sounded in her ears. She rushed to cover them as the train screamed its way closer to her. Now or never.
She flicked her wrist: the small, sky blue bracelet she wore began to shine. I hope this is a short transformation sequence!
A burst of blue sparkles exploded everywhere, followed closely by blue ribbons that wrapped themselves around Anna. She did the playful poses and cute winks she was trained to do - and internally begged it to hurry up this time.
Her outfit exploded into being: a blue dress with adorable puff sleeves, a cute bustled skirt that ended just below her knees, a corset and matching choker with accentuating bows, and of course, two large ribbons that tied her long orange hair up into two soft twin tails.
Oh god, it’s the same outfit as last time! She realized with horror. Too late to fight it now: this is her battle uniform, for better or worse.
The transformation sequence finally settled to reveal… no train.
Anna looked down the tracks.
Yup. It passed her. Great.
Anna braced herself - and then blue magic swirled around her. This magic was a springboard: she leapt from the platform to a nearby lamppost, then another, and another, inching closer and closer to the dangerously speeding train. How has this thing not derailed yet? She thought to herself as she trailed it.
Finally, her leapfrogging got her exactly above the last train car… and on top of it, she could see the vague shape of figures. That must be my new team. Don’t mess this up, me!
She released her magical energy, letting herself land right in front of her new team.
It would have been really cool… if she landed on her feet instead of her face.
---
The first thing she noticed was that her unique magic - a shield to cover her body and absorb some of the damage she takes - did not help make this impact hurt her back any less. She groaned as she sat up, trying not to make the back pain any worse.
The second thing she noticed were her teammates.
“Nice entrance!” A strange, scratchy voice called out. Anna immediately turned to face her new team.
There stood two humans - a man and a woman - and of course, a Keeper and an Eater. She had expected the Keeper and Eater; a Ghoul can’t be stopped unless the Eater is there to, well, eat them; and a Keeper was needed to make sure the Eater was in check. That was normal. But this Keeper, this Eater, this team? Now that was unusual.
The woman - already looking ragged - just gave Anna a quizzical look.
The man - who, by the way, had the most extravagant and over-the-top magical outfit Anna had ever seen - just stared at her skeptically.
The Keeper was… unusually cute. Like, “Why isn’t she in the marketing material?” levels of cute.
The Eater, on the other hand… Anna was already a bit put off by her.
Before Anna could say anything, the man approached her, a serious look on his face. She was immediately put off - but before she could even say “Hey, what the hell are you doing?” He reached over… and snapped his fingers swiftly in front of her face.
She yelped. He backed off, grinning. “It’s ok, guys,” He announced with a smirk. “She isn’t a reptilian.”
WHAT THE FUCK??? Anna thought to herself as she watched the woman roll her eyes. “Good to know, Jack.” The man - Jack, apparently - just laughed in response.
“Sabine,” the woman offered, nodding to Anna and offering her a hand. “Sabine Durand.”
Anna took her hand and let Sabine lift her up.
“This idiot,” Sabine pointed to the man. “Is Jack Hartley. Ignore him, you’ll save more braincells that way.” Jack laughed loudly at that, which startled Anna a bit.
“The Keeper is Chocola.” Sabine continued. The Keeper gave a small, polite bow to Anna. “And the Eater is…”
“CARAMELLA!” The same gravelly voice from before shouted out. The Eater - Caramella, apparently - had quite an unsettling voice. I suppose that’s typical of Eaters, Anna thought to herself.
“Alright, enough introductions.” Sabine’s expression hardened, and she turned her attention towards the shifting limbs in the distance. “Let’s take this Ghoul down already.”
The Ghoul roared - a horrible, mechanical screech that reverberated in Anna’s bones. The numerous limbs it had, slick with oil and spouting steam from every rusted mechanical joint, all writhed around in random directions.
“I suspect it’s a manifestation of anxiety, burnout and fatigue after a long work day,” Chocola spoke up. Her voice was quiet and soft. Sabine nodded in response.
The team all turned their attention to the Ghoul. Anna swallowed back her fear. Guess I’m back to doing this.
[Song: “Diversion” by The Equals]
“Positions!” Sabine barked.
Nobody moved.
“Well?” she snapped.
“I just got here!!” Anna yelped, stumbling backwards as the Ghoul finally noticed the team and lunged. Bursts of steam hissed from every joint on its wretched body, and the nearest hand - more like a broken train coupler than a human hand - swung toward her like a flail.
Anna just barely met it with her weapon - a plain, undecorated cutlass. The impact rang through her bones, and she staggered.
Jack dramatically stepped in front of her, letting his cape flow in the wind like this was a play. “Fear not, fair maiden! The world’s Number One UFOlogist is here to protect you from all e-”
Another writhing Ghoul hand struck him from the side mid-monologue.
“Can you do anything useful?” Sabine barked again, growing frustrated as she slashed an arm off with her long, jagged spear. Caramella gleefully ate the arm up as it fell.
The Ghoul reared back to stab Jack with its rusted metal hands - but Sabine struck first. She slammed her spear into the train beneath them, and chains burst from the train roof, snapping around the Ghoul’s limbs and anchoring them to the floor.
Anna slashed the now immobile arms right away, panic filling her expression. Caramella ate every arm with disgusting joy. Anna shivered at the sight, but tried to focus.
Jack staggered back to his feet, dazed but grinning. He brandished his own weapon - a long, ornate royal sceptre, and spun it wildly. It glowed, and a hypnotic pattern of spiralling red hearts emerged in the movement, pulsing like a hypnotist’s disc and catching the attention of the Ghoul… and Anna.
“See? I’m helping!” Jack cried out triumphantly - until Anna stepped in front of him, clearly affected by his magic.
“Oh, shit!” He yelped, dropping the illusion just as the Ghoul started lunging towards them.
“Goddamnit,” Sabine mumbled bitterly under her breath as she rushed over, slashing another pair of piston-jointed arms off for Caramella to devour.
“You two need to focus!” Sabine spat. Anna, still dazed from Jack’s magic, only groaned in response.
“I’m totally focused!” Jack yelled indignantly.
Sabine sighed again. “I’m ending this,” she declared.
She slammed her spear into the train with a heavy clang. Chains surged from the metal, wrapping the Ghoul’s twitching body like a straightjacket.
Sabine moved without hesitation, cleaving its last three arms clean off. They fell uselessly to the ground and were snatched up by Caramella in seconds, who devoured them with manic glee.
The Ghoul’s body collapsed in a heap of grinding gears and wheezing exhaust, twitching like a dying engine. It let out pitiful cries, half-mechanical and half-human in sound. Sabine didn’t hesitate. She slashed it with five quick swipes, dicing it up into pieces. Caramella ate them all with a sick glee.
The last scrap of the Ghoul’s grotesque body disappeared into Caramella’s smiling mouth with a loud crunch. For a moment, all that remained was steam and the hum of train wheels beneath them.
Ghoul hunt: complete.
---
---
The train screeched to a halt - finally under control now that the Ghoul was eaten.
Frightened passengers filed out of the train cars. Oh god, there were people in there that whole time??? Anna thought, her mind still racing.
She glanced over at her new teammates.
Sabine was busy cleaning Ghoul ichor off her vest. Chocola was poised, licking her paw to smooth out her fur. Jack gave an over-the-top smile and a thumbs up. Caramella was... eating a shoe...? Where did she even get that...?
A strange group to be sure - but they got the job done.
