[(1) nickname: Bloss] Hi! I just discovered this blog and I think it's amazing what you do to help people. Thank you so much!! So to my topic, I'm a 22 y/o girl who lives with my mother, my aunt, my grandma and also with my sister, her partner and their baby (but they live in another floor of the house). My issue is that my grandmother is 87 y/o, her physical and mental health are deteriorating exponentially each day and my family doesen't know how to handle it.
[(2) Bloss] I think that my grandma is going through dementia or something similar but no one in my family can accept this, they are not coping with the fact that she's not the person she was 10 years ago and what's worse than that, they get angry at her for being incapable of hearing/reasoning/etc. I visit a counselor for my own mental issues and I'm planning to ask her for help but maybe this should be taken care by a social assistant? Do you have some resourses I could check? Thank you!!
Thankyou for your kind words - we really appreciate them :)
Part of my job is to care for people who have dementia, so I hope that I can offer some insight and support for you. However, I am not a registered health practitioner so please do also speak to your doctor about your concerns.
I’m really sorry to hear how your family is struggling - it can be really tough to be in this kind of situation. I wanted to start by giving you some information on the types of dementia and the symptoms that they can have.
Dementia is not a disease in itself. Dementia is a word used to describe a group of symptoms that occur when brain cells stop working properly. Symptoms include memory loss, confusion, mood changes, and difficulty with day-to-day tasks. There are multiple types of dementia and it is possible to have more than one at the same time. This can be called ‘mixed dementia’.
Dementia with Lewy-Bodies (DLB) - affects the cerebrum of the brain, and can lead to hallucinations and loss of consciousness. Can cause common dementia symptoms as well as Parkinson’s disease-type movement issues and sleep disturbances.
Vascular Dementia - Can cause memory loss, disorientation, and problems communicating. However, sufferers may also have bladder problems, movement problems, and taking more time to process information.
Fronto-temporal Dementia (FTD) - affects the frontal lobe, and has several subtypes. Can cause people to act inappropriately, and experience personality changes. Also affects temporal lobe and can cause difficulty with language, speech, and factual knowledge about the world. The person may have different diet preferences, a lack of personal awareness, and lack of social awareness.
ARBD - Alcohol related brain damage, including Korsakoff’s syndrome which is an chronic memory disorder caused by severe deficiency of thiamine (vitamin B-1). Shares similar symptoms with other dementias.
Posterior Cortical Atrophy (PCA) - affects parietal and occipital lobes, causing difficulty seeing what and where things are.
Alzheimers - affects the temporal lobe, specifically the hippocampus. Causes memory loss and disorientation. Can cause difficulty with language, speech, and factual knowledge about the world. The cerebellum is eventually affected by Alzheimer’s and other dementias. This part of the brain helps control our movements, including balance and posture. It’s also involved in attention and language.
I also want to raise the point that around 40% of people over 65 have some type of memory problem, and only 15% will develop dementia each year. There are other conditions that can cause dementia-like symptoms, such as depression, delirium (due to infection, stroke, hypoglycaemia, hypoxia etc), and age related memory impairment.
Someone affected by memory loss as they get older will often fear the worst and assume they have dementia. Age related memory impairment is relatively common, however when an individual has dementia they will usually not be aware of their memory loss or will deny it. In addition, an individual with dementia will often struggle to remember immediate or recent events, but will still recall events from a long time ago.
Typical early symptoms of Alzheimer’s include getting lost, confusion surrounding the time of day, regularly misplacing items, regularly forgetting recent events, face, and names. As it progresses language and communication become more difficult, and some people may experience hallucinations, as well as becoming more unsteady and prone to falls. People will find that their ability to remember, think and make decisions worsens and their personality may change.
Individuals will all have a different experience of dementia, especially because different types of dementia may result in different symptoms. For example, those with vascular dementia are more likely to have issues with incontinence and seizures, and those with FTD may be less forgetful than those with Alzheimer’s. In addition, age can affect how able a person is to function when they have dementia. If a person is younger they are less likely to be as dependable, but it may be harder for them to access support. Those who are older will already be suffering memory loss due to aging and sometimes progressive loss of hearing and/or sight.
Diagnosing dementia is often difficult, particularly in the early stages. The general doctor is the first person to consult. The doctor may then refer the person being diagnosed to a specialist such as a consultant. Assessments can include conversations with the person being diagnosed and those close to them, a physical examination, memory tests and/or brain scans. The Mini Mental State Examination (MMSE) is the most commonly used test for complaints of memory problems or when a diagnosis of dementia is being considered.
Even if the diagnosis is dementia, there is lots that can be done after a diagnosis to support someone to live well with the condition. There is support available from organisations such as Alzheimer’s society, Dementia UK, and NHS services. Your grandma may also want to think about driving, health, legal decisions, working, money and benefits. Planning for the future can make things easier to manage later on so take advantage of all the advice, services and support available to you.
There are also some things you and your family can do to make things easier for your grandma:
It is very important to focus on what the person still does have, not on what they may have lost. It is also important to focus on what the person feels rather than what they remember.
If the person finds verbal communication difficult, speak slightly more slowly and use simple words and sentences. Be more aware of the tone you adopt.
A person with dementia may use their behaviour and body language to communicate, such as gestures, eye contact and facial expressions. Non-verbal communication is important, and the person with dementia can notice or pick up on expressions and gestures.
Try to maintain eye contact. This will help the person focus on you.
Try to avoid sudden movements and tense facial expressions, as these may cause upset or distress.
Try not to stand too close or stand over someone when communicating - it may make them feel intimidated.
Make sure the person is included in conversations. Try not to speak on their behalf, complete sentences for them or allow others to exclude them.
Listen to the person. Give them plenty of time, remove distractions like background noise and try to work out the meaning they are trying to convey. The message may be about feelings, not just facts.
Avoid asking too many direct questions. Consider giving the person options or asking questions with a yes or no answer.
Do things together - try to do things with the person rather than for them when offering assistance.
Focus on things the person can do, rather than those they can't.
Offer help in a supportive way.
Try to be patient, allowing plenty of time for tasks and offering reassurance, praise and encouragement.
Break down tasks into smaller, more manageable steps.
Try to adapt tasks to take account of particular difficulties. If the person is happy, keep doing the things they enjoy - just differently. Focus more on the process rather than the completion of a task.
I’m really glad that you have the support of a counsellor, and I think that your family circumstances are something that is worth bringing up with them. Sometimes people become angry because they have a lot of other emotions that they don’t know how to handle. Hopefully by accessing some professional help for your grandma, you and your family can find some respite and calm! Your grandma is very lucky to have you <3 Keep going lovely, and look after yourself. I know there’s been a lot of info on this post but if you have any thoughts, worries, or questions, then please do send another ask! We are always here for you :)
