mental health professionals when they’re told to not make fanfiction about your life
not even kidding i’m so fucking mad rn i just had a call
DESCRIBED my mood swings, DARED to mention the word “depressed” and suddenly was hit with “LOW MOOD.”
is this fucking tiktok??? are we now going to start using “Do you have any plans to unalive yourself?” in the safeguarding survey to protect the innocence of individuals struggling with mental health or are we just gonna call it what it fucking says on the tin and say depressed.
didn’t even get the CHANCE to say “GCSES weren’t that stressful for me” because they immediately said “It’s a very stressful, high pressure time” so therefore I couldn’t possibly have found it not stressful. makes sense.
then proceeded to say my LOW MOOD (God Forbid We Say Depressed!) after GCSE (it was literally as recent as last week) was “normal for after GCSEs”
i could say so much more shit about the hell incarnate that was that call but oh my god. like okay i’m probably focusing on the negatives but i’m just sick and tired of people saying “Reach out for help!” (which you should) but then this is the health system you get
at least this time i’m not just straight up being told “change your thinking pattern to be more positive” but fuck me
some of that call just fucking felt like they were trying to twist my words into a definition they know already. like yeah sorry my LOW MOOD is an issue… let’s completely ignore the fact i said i get two different periods of higher mood too. because that’s definitely not an issue too.
they also said about eating with my family??? I don’t eat with my family because I will genuinely cry if I have to hear another slurp or bite or squelch radiating from my dad’s mouth. it’s disgusting. it’s gross. finding issues when there’s none there i swear to god
and after a certain point i was just like “I might as well just be bullshitting every word I say because literally none of it is going through”, BECAUSE LIKE COME ON. I’VE SAID CLEARLY A PATTERN. I’VE RECORDED MY MOOD. I CAN SHOW MY MOOD. NO, IT DOES NOT CHANGE BECAUSE OF SITUATIONS.
that’s another thing I swear at one point they were trying to make it sound like my LOW MOOD was situational. like no i don’t immediately become enter a depressed mood because one thing ticked me off.
also it’s kinda baffling that everyone i’ve spoken to is surprised when you don’t immediately have a coping method for every individual thing. like “What do you do when you feel like __”… idk i sit down and take it
like yeah expecting that it’s gonna happen is a negative thinking pattern but that shit isn’t causing me to experience LOW MOOD, as we so pleasantly refer to it as
in that same logic it’s a positive thinking pattern to expect myself to be experiencing a higher mood state.
it’s equally a negative thinking pattern as it is just a blatant fact??? like dude???
also just because this recent depression was different to the others doesn’t mean for certain it’s changed because suddenly i’m not at school… THAT’S THE THING I CANNOT TELL. I CANNOT PREDICT ANOTHER DEPRESSION. THAT IS IN LIKE 6+ WEEKS. IT MIGHT BE A CHANGE. MIGHT BE A ONE OFF.
I swear that was just another attempt to make my issues seem like they were only severe because of school
every time i explain anything to a mental health professional it’s like i can never explain it right to them, because EVERY DAMN TIME something like this happens even though i think im being as specific and thorough as i can
on the topic of “LOW MOOD” i could write a whole essay on how mental health providers using low mood and forcing YOU to use it instead of describing how you feel as depressed is harmful as fuck. what’s next? gonna start calling suicide/self-harm self-naughties? because that’s how stupid it sounds. it makes it sound childish.
^^ i would also like to add many people who use depressed to describe a mood aren’t SAYING “I DEFINITELY HAVE DEPRESSION” but hey they ain’t throwing around that word for nothing. most of the time it isn’t the typical “Ohh i’m so depressed because I don’t have (whatever)” it’s from an actual place where it COULD be depression, or some other mental health struggle.
… anyway apologies for the rant i’m just very annoyed and pissed off with the mental health system rn
