I'm mentally in a terrible state so I paint in a terrible way

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I'm mentally in a terrible state so I paint in a terrible way
Why the fuck did I deny being a lesbian for so long this is not ironic comphet low-key ruined me. I spent so long going "oh yeah I just prefer drawing women/men feel weird to draw" or "yeah I think women are more aesthetically pleasing" or being happy when a girl found me cute VS how I literally shrivel up and die every time a man shows interest in me like that and all that kinda shit to then turn around and say I was bi??? And I Jjustfm,fjdkkfee,. I did so much dumb shit because of this I accepted it too late oh my God I, gonna. Explod e.
MORAL ALIGNMENT TEST