[[beginning // hayi
She was blinded as she opened her eyes, the rising sun punching directly onto her face. She groaned in annoyance and threw her arm over her eyelids. Something crinkled beside her and she decided that it was Liam and if it wasn't him, then she'd die and that was it, because she didn't want to face the day just yet.
They arrived very late the day before to Liam's place, which was the reason the blinds were not drawn. It was small but cosy, really the dream of any student, way better than what she had back to her campus. He even had his own private kitchen, no common spaces at all and that was a luxury she had missed.
She laid on her back for a while and had to admit she wouldn't fall back asleep anytime soon. Hayi sighed and rolled out of bed, scrunching her face. She sat on the edge of the mattress a while, trying to fight old bad habits. She used to start the day with a shot of whatever to ease the hungover she got from the previous night. She rubbed her forehead until the urge receded slightly. It would always linger, she knew it, she has been told by her sponsor and many other recovering alcoholics. She just had to keep it going until it became easier, because it would. She knew it would because no one could resist that urge for years and years without breaking. It wasn't possible. So she just had to hang on until then. Just that morning for now.
She sighed again and looked behind her, where Liam was sprawled. His mouth was slightly open and the eyebags under his eyes seemed to have lessened. She hadn't seen him so peaceful in a while and her heart settled in her chest. Anyone would think that after everything she had done, every way she had fucked up, he would have left. But he didn't and she needed to occupy herself before the guilt came to choke her and drown her brain.
She finally got up and left the bedroom. She washed her face in the bathroom and stared at her in the mirror and she couldn't help herself but rejoice at the healthy color her skin was gaining. Part of it was not drinking anymore but there was also definitely the happiness of feeling at home again since miles were not between Liam and her. She really never would have thought she would be the clingy kind. The alcoholic one, definitely, they had joked about her getting addicted many times and it was all very bittersweet now. But not clingy.
She walked into the kitchen and started to look around. This place was going to be theirs for a while, so really, it wasn't weird for her to snoop around, was it ?
The next hour was spent looking into every cabinet, drawer and piece of furniture in the whole flat while snacking on cereals, which seems to be the only food that hadn't go wrong while Liam's absence to care for her. Everything was a discovery and yet, familiar. All of it was so much her boyfriend, it comforted her like an old album left unplayed for a few months. She knew all the songs but not all the lyrics.
Of course, lots of his books were now for his classes and that was boring. But the video games were the same he always played. He still left his coat on the back of a chair instead of the coatrack just beside the door. Plates and glasses were in the same cupboard and cutleries were organized in the same order as in his parents' house : forks, knives, soup spoons.
Pieces of her were also easily found and she realized how stupid the idea of him cheating was ridiculous. He had one of her plushies on the living-room table, the towels in the bathroom were emerald green, her favorite color and there were three plaids on the bed, one for him, two for her.
« How cheesy. » She muttered, smiling fondly.
« You look insane, talking to yourself. » The voice came from the bedroom. Liam was leaning against the doorframe and he had the traces of his pillow on his cheeks. And this was going to be the rest of her life, she just couldn't wait.