I despair and I hope

Ten fingers, ten toes Two arms, two legs, blood is flowing Two eyes blinking, two ears open I am open

[lhavi]

softeurs·:

He woke up twice before this moment. Once because Hayi had this habit of kicking aimlessly in her sleep that still was intact and hit him in the middle of the night, which then had him having to immobilize her enough that she wouldn’t be moving much. For a few hours at least. ( @lhavi / because of )

The second time, because he could hear the morning rising and feel her breath against his shoulder, it’d felt like a gift, all he’d done was blink, turn on his side to watch her sleep. Then watched her tighten her hold–the arm she’d slung across his chest, because when she was not kicking, she was a glued magnet to anything she could find. 

Her peaceful stance had made him fall back asleep without a second thought. 

Then there was now, standing in the doorway of the bedroom and catching sight of her awake and rosy. Must be the warmth of the sun filtering through every open window of his apartment. One of the reasons why he’d especially picked this one, there wasn’t one unlit space when morning came. It was like bathing in the sun without having to step a foot out.

It was looking like the best choice he’d ever made, washing over her skin as it did, catching on the mess of her hair and on the brown of her eyes–not that he’d seen it from the door way. No, that was a detail that became more transparent and vibrant when he closed in with every intention to start this day the right way. 

By kissing her. 

With the slide of his arms around her and pressing a firm, breathed in kiss, from relief and so many more things. 

The how many times had he woken up in the emptiness of this apartment and thought about the day to come and wished she’d been here and given in before heading out by facetiming her. Relief because of the sight of her rosy glow right before he was too close to look, eyes shut and unable see anything else and do anything else but breathe her in. 

Liam was just reaffirming that he hadn’t lost this–her, them–everything. 

Liamkissed her like she was the one who offered him the world, like hewasn't the savior of her, of them, like it was all her, that he wasthe lucky one and it made her heart grow three sizes in her chest andher hands gripped his shirt, keeping his mouth against her for acouple of seconds more than necessary, because only him could makeher feel like she deserved good things, the best of things.

Shelet go of his shirt and pulled away a little bit, looking into hiseyes before smiling. Her hand ran through his short hair and againsthis cheek, her thumb caressed his lips and she marvelled at therealness of him.

Sheprobably tasted like cereals but he didn't seem to mind. Her hairprobably was a catastrophe, but he didn't mind. His back was probablyhurting from being oddly bent towards her, but that was all hisfault, he shouldn't be so tall.

Sheflattened his shirt against his torso, smiling and hummed quietly forherself.

« Youtalked in your sleep. » She said, teasing him a bit. He mostlymoaned randomly and asked for her hand at some point. She had takenhis hand into hers and he quieted down immediately. He was such acliché, she actually had blushed during the night. He only everspoke when he was being so tired. She wondered if it was the wholetravel to his place or everything that had happened before. Even whenshe was in rehabilitation, he had stayed in her crappy studio, eventhough he couldn't see her for days on end, waiting for her to notscrew up anymore and actually become a decent human being.

« Ithrew away your wine vinegar and some of your mouth cleaner. »She admitted, looking down. Because apparently that was that kind ofdemeaning behavior she had been reduced to and the strong advice ofher sponsor when she decided she would leave after a month of rehabonly, refusing to extend. She couldn't really see herself drinkingany of that even at the most desperate but the look her sponsor hadhad, convinced her not to try to outsmart him. There was also thefact that she didn't want to disappoint Liam again and for that, shewas ready to take the most radical resolutions and that includedlooking ridiculous sometimes. But that was on her and she would bearthat burden.

Shesmiled gently and looked up again, straight into his eyes. « Weneed to get groceries, because everythig has gone bad and you don'thave any milk, which as you know, is ground for break up. »

[lhavi]

[[beginning // hayi

She was blinded as she opened her eyes, the rising sun punching directly onto her face. She groaned in annoyance and threw her arm over her eyelids. Something crinkled beside her and she decided that it was Liam and if it wasn't him, then she'd die and that was it, because she didn't want to face the day just yet.

They arrived very late the day before to Liam's place, which was the reason the blinds were not drawn. It was small but cosy, really the dream of any student, way better than what she had back to her campus. He even had his own private kitchen, no common spaces at all and that was a luxury she had missed.

She laid on her back for a while and had to admit she wouldn't fall back asleep anytime soon. Hayi sighed and rolled out of bed, scrunching her face. She sat on the edge of the mattress a while, trying to fight old bad habits. She used to start the day with a shot of whatever to ease the hungover she got from the previous night. She rubbed her forehead until the urge receded slightly. It would always linger, she knew it, she has been told by her sponsor and many other recovering alcoholics. She just had to keep it going until it became easier, because it would. She knew it would because no one could resist that urge for years and years without breaking. It wasn't possible. So she just had to hang on until then. Just that morning for now.

She sighed again and looked behind her, where Liam was sprawled. His mouth was slightly open and the eyebags under his eyes seemed to have lessened. She hadn't seen him so peaceful in a while and her heart settled in her chest. Anyone would think that after everything she had done, every way she had fucked up, he would have left. But he didn't and she needed to occupy herself before the guilt came to choke her and drown her brain.

She finally got up and left the bedroom. She washed her face in the bathroom and stared at her in the mirror and she couldn't help herself but rejoice at the healthy color her skin was gaining. Part of it was not drinking anymore but there was also definitely the happiness of feeling at home again since miles were not between Liam and her. She really never would have thought she would be the clingy kind. The alcoholic one, definitely, they had joked about her getting addicted many times and it was all very bittersweet now. But not clingy.

She walked into the kitchen and started to look around. This place was going to be theirs for a while, so really, it wasn't weird for her to snoop around, was it ?

The next hour was spent looking into every cabinet, drawer and piece of furniture in the whole flat while snacking on cereals, which seems to be the only food that hadn't go wrong while Liam's absence to care for her. Everything was a discovery and yet, familiar. All of it was so much her boyfriend, it comforted her like an old album left unplayed for a few months. She knew all the songs but not all the lyrics.

Of course, lots of his books were now for his classes and that was boring. But the video games were the same he always played. He still left his coat on the back of a chair instead of the coatrack just beside the door. Plates and glasses were in the same cupboard and cutleries were organized in the same order as in his parents' house : forks, knives, soup spoons.

Pieces of her were also easily found and she realized how stupid the idea of him cheating was ridiculous. He had one of her plushies on the living-room table, the towels in the bathroom were emerald green, her favorite color and there were three plaids on the bed, one for him, two for her.

« How cheesy. » She muttered, smiling fondly.

« You look insane, talking to yourself. » The voice came from the bedroom. Liam was leaning against the doorframe and he had the traces of his pillow on his cheeks. And this was going to be the rest of her life, she just couldn't wait.

[lhavi]

[[a little nothing // hayi

Liam squeezed her hands and she looked up at him. His smile was warm and comforting and she felt it melting in her muscles, taking away some of her anxiety.

It was a simple dinner with a few of Liam's friends. It was casual and wouldn't get out of hand. It was chatting and laughing and exchanging anecdotes. She put on a simple short blue dress, the summer heat heavy in the air on this August evening. Liam himself was on a relax mode.

She gave him a nod and after leaving a kiss on the top of her head, the asshole was using any way to remind her she was short, he knocked on the door. Leslie appeared with a huge smile on her face. She caught a glimpse of three other persons in the living-room. They were the last to arrive, and it was no wonder, they looked for her shoes for a total of fifteen minutes before they gave up and she picked another pair. The mystery of the black Converse was still to be solved but would wait another day.

Their host hugged them fast and hushed them in. The flat was still bathed in late sunlight and it smelled like ripe fruits and meat. The rest of the guests cheered at seeing them. It was friendly and welcoming and she felt secure. As if nothing had ever gone wrong in her life. She knew deeply the reason she got to feel that way was that the man by her side had wiped away all the stains her mistakes made, he had repaired every broken pots and he had kept her secrets safe and she was blameless at the eyes if the world.

« Well, Hayi, here's my boyfriend, Eric and his friends, Nour and Emily. » Out of four, Hayi had only met Leslie and only once. Nour had her hand on Emily's thigh and Eric extended his to his girlfriend. Suddenly, she was aware of her own love's hand on the small of her back. It was way too warm to be comfortable to be touched but she would rather die at the very second than having to do without it.

Everyone hugged, awkwardly moving around the table full of glasses and all kind of nuts and it was familiar and strange at the same time.

Liam and Hayi were invited to sit on the couch. Eric got up and passed them two glasses.

« Okay, so we have scotch, some kind of fruity rum that Emily got from Cuba or just plain white wine. Liam, you're a scotch guy like me, I won't take any other answer. » Eric grinned, pouring already into Liam's glass. Hayi's heart clenched a second and she got lost into what excuse to use, how to get out of this situation, just a second, she just needed a second and--

« Hayi, you should try that rum, it's just like juice, unbelievable, you can't feel there's alcohol in there. » Leslie continued without missing a beat, sipping from her own glass. Eric hummed and opened the rum.

She felt Liam leaning towards the table, and the blood was rushing into her ears but her hand was faster and she covered her glass. Surprised eyes on her and suddenly, quiet. If Liam had handled it, it would have been smooth, he would have found a reason but it was her who rushed, too fast to make it pass as a normal gesture.

« I don't drink. » She finally let out. « Alcohol, I mean. » Her throat was a bit tight but she did it. She admitted it and it was her cross for the rest of her life but she did it. She glanced at Liam who had the most radiant smile and she elbowed him lightly.

« Oh, you drove there ? » Eric asked, closing the bottle, while Leslie started to list the non-alcoholic options.

« No. » It would have been so easy to say yes, to just go with that lie. But she was done lying, she was done adding to her burden. « No. I'm sober. » There was quiet.

« My father has been sober for 12 years now. » Hayi glanced at Nour who had been the most silent until now and she felt a kinship with her, an immense gratitude that this stranger came to save her.

« It has been eight months for me. Tell your father I'm just on his tail. » Hayi smiled and Liam laughed, that carefree laughter that he had when everything was going well. And maybe he was right. Maybe everything was going well, Hayi thought as everyone joined in.

[aumiliieu]

@jadisjavaisuncoeur // @lhavi

( txt ) where are you?  ( txt ) got a bottle of jack with me ( txt ) and a project that i need to finish for next monday. ( txt ) miss yooooooooou ( txt ) come to me?

[lhavi]

[txt] i fail to see how the bottle of jack and the project are related but sounds good enough [txt] u know except the fact that i’m in class and all [txt] and also it’s 3pm on a tuesday afternoon [txt] if ur turning alcoholic before i become a meth addict, i’m breaking up with u

[lhavi]

halloween feast // hayi’&’liam

She honestly sometimes wondered how it was possible for anyone to not be fed up with her. Her whining tendencies were even getting on her own nerves and she just had to get along with herself. There weren't many other solutions.

But Liam had all the reasons in the whole world to drop her whiny ass and deal with someone easier than her. Well, maybe not, since her name was sort of inked to his skin, but still, he probably didn't need to have her always around like he seemed to enjoy. She knew she was doing better away from-- Let's not think about that. Her heart though pinched only a little. It tasted of regret and melancholy, but the fading tattoo was also removing the constant pain and only the memories seemed to survive the change.

Her tall friend was holding tightly her hand, a big stupid smile on his face. Somehow, she should have guessed he was the kind to overreact when Halloween was round the corner.

« Do we really need to go to a pumpkin patch? Can’t we just buy one at Tesco? »

At the moment he let go of her hand, the cold gripped it and her only instinct was to grab it right back, her body closing the little distance between the both of them for a moment, before taking a step back. She decided to blame the cold for the light blush on her cheeks if Liam was to ever ask.

Hayi left her head and, unsurprisingly, looked at his offended face. Of course he would overreact once again at her question. The day he wasn't being dramatic would be the day of his death, and she kind of had her own doubts about that too.

« Picking the pumpkin is a very very important step to have a perfect Halloween ! We do not want a pumpkin full of pesticides ! »

Hayi rolled her eyes, muttering to herself 'I don't want a pumpkin at all', but didn't comment any further, letting herself pull to the right direction. She had no idea how in such a huge city there was a pumpkin patch and how the hell he could have ever heard about it. Liam was definitely far from having uncovered all his secrets.

After a few more blocks, walked in silence, Liam pushed a little portal and entered a small garden, where a csilhouette was kneeling on the cold grass. « Isn't it private property ? » Hayi whispered, pulling on his hand to slow him down. He just grinned mischeviously at her and forced her to walk into the view of the two strangers.

The old lady got up and waved at them. « Ah, Liam ! Is that your girlfriend ? » The boy laughed out lout and nodded, letting go of her hand to wrap his arm around her waist and pulling her to him. She quirked an eyebrow but didn't comment, partly because he was warm and she was freezing. She addressed a polite smile to the lady and bowed her head. « I'm Hayi Lee. It's nice to meet you. »

Liam kissed the top of her head, which he got rewarded by a firm elbow thrust in his ribs. « She's my grandmother. Well, not really, but she is my old nanny, from when I was little. » The young Korean girl opened her mouth in surprise and bowed a bit deeper. When she was taken out of surprise, the old habit from her childhood were overwhelming. It got a light chuckle from the old woman. « I'm Janine. Liam told me you wanted a few pumpkins for your place ? I have a few of them, so just take what you need. »

Hayi smiled warmly and bowed yet again. « Ah, thank you so much. » She barely finished talking that Liam was pulling her again. After a quick hug to the old woman, he led her to the pumpkins patch. The pumpkins were of all sizes and for some reason, Hayi felt excited. She ahd always been living in huge cities, gardening wasn't anything she was used to do, and God knew she was happy to finally try. « I want the tiny ones ! » She said, pulling away from him to fall on her knees and poking the vegetables.

She was grateful he didn't comment on her sudden enthusiasm and just plopped down beside her, taking a closer look to their targets as well. « Yeah, I think we can take one each for your place. Then we'll have enough soup for tonight. » Hayi hummed in reply.

« I'm also going to beat you at pumpkin carving. » She commented, matter-of-factly. His laugh was loud and warm and he shook his head. « I'd like to see you try. »

[lhavi]

clear mornings // hayi

“What would you do if you woke up to find out I hadn’t?" 

Hayi grumbled at those words. It was early morning and, of course, only Liam would have these kind of questions for her at this hour. There were nights he wouldn't sleep at all. She didn't know why, had asked, but had never gotten a response, at least not yet, but she knew there was more behind his bright smiles. There was more behind hers.

« I'd romeo and juliet me. » She muttered, her voice heavy with sleep and sarcasm.

The atmosphere at Liam's house was still shit and somehow he ended up spending the night at hers, making his inked name burn as they accidently grazed fingers in her small bed, and the secret of her changing soulmate boiling in her throat, and yet, she'd rather burn.

« You wouldn't. » He countered, doubtfully and she rolled her eyes to herself. She really couldn't tell from who he was taking his stupidity. His mother was too mean to be an idiot and Nikholaus had proven to be the smartest of them all, so really, it was a mystery.

Rolling on her stomach, but her face towards him, she looked into his eyes, her heart beting a bit too loudly for her comfort, maybe it was echoing in the mattress, she knew nothing of science. « Oh yes, I would. I'd go run to a pharmacist and I'll ask sleeping pills. Then, I'd lie next to you and would swallow the whole bottle up and with a very long last speech, I would dramatically die. » She smirked slightly. « How does that sound ? »

The only response she got was being pushed out of bed. It wasn't a high fall, but still a harsh waking up call. She sat up immediately and glared meanly at him, throwing her pillow that she grabbed as she fell to his face. « Rude ! That's my place if I may remind you ! Go back to yours ! Or find yourself a flat ! »

She huffed annoyingly and got up. She could feel his eyes on her naked thighs and she quietly congratulated herself for sleeping in a large t-shirt.

[lhavi]

heartache // sarah

"Life’s too short to hold grudges, you hurt me but I can’t hate you, fact is I still love you, I may not trust you but I don’t want something to happen to me with you thinking I hate you." 

It was the most total night outside, the kind you couldn't make two steps outside without feeling engulfed in the belly of a whale, like old Jonah. Sarah was alone in her bed, and that too, felt like being swallowed up. Her hand caressed the empty palce by her side. She shouldn't be feeling so empty. She was the one asking for him to find another place to sleep. But after so many years married, there wasn't many nights she could survive without feeling his warmth by her side and he had been away for weeks.

Just the time for her heart to be okay that his had been beating for someone else's, just to get used to the idea that beside 'Mia', another ink was printed, the name of a child, a child who had been close to stealing everything Sarah has ever worked for.

It took a while for Nikholaus to convince her she had nothing to fear, that she could rely on him just like they ever did since they met. They were still two lonely people sharing their solitude, he wasn't trying to escape from his, he was carrying his part of the burden. He wasn't going anywhere, if it wasn't with her. The name still crafted in his skin, but his mind clear on Sarah, her heart had softened and she could touch his face without crying.

The girl was now troubles for her son, stained with the same name. It was nightmarish.

She sighed and finally sat on the edge of the bed, her short nightgown high on her thighs. It was a cold night and goosebumps were appearing on her skin. She sighed and closed her eyes. She missed him. Nikholaus. She missed having him by her side, she missed grazing his skin accidently during the night and hearing his soft snoring. She missed the secret attacks he was carrying against her skin when he thought she was awake, she missed his hand on her hips on breasts and his mouth against the pillow to muffle a moan.

She missed him.

She got up, and without thinking twice about it walked out of the room. She was nearly running as she made her way down the stairs. Before she could even blink, she was standing in front of the couch and he was awake, looking at her, surprised and pleased, she could see it, he was pleased. He sat up and she garbbed his beautiful head between her hands and the only light was coming from a laptop not turned off and his face was so full of angles, so harsh and unforgiving.

« Life's too short to hold grudges, you hurt me but I can't hate you, fact is I still love you. I may not trust you but I don't want something to happen to me with you thinking I hate you. » Words were rushing out of her mouth and it wasn't as tender as it should be, it was still unforgiving, but it was the truth and she felt freed, she felt relieved that he was the one carrying these now.

She planted her lips against his, first kiss she initiated in a long time, and she held his face close to hers, she was probably hurting him, her fingers digging into the skin of his jaw but it took ehr a long time to let go and he didn't protest so she kept him close, so close, just to get back a bit of the warmth she had missed.

« Shuffle over. Let's sleep. » She finally whispered, her knee initiating her move. Soon enough, she was against his chest, lying on the narrow couch, so close that they couldn't breathe at the same time.

[lhavi]

[[non-stop // liam&hayi

[lhavi]

It honestly never ceased to amuse him, watching her move around the way she always did before they had to go somewhere. It’s always been like that too, so you’d think by now she would have learned how to work with time and packing before it’s too late. Liam has to glance at his watch and raise an eyebrow because talking about too late, they might be in it to run or grab a cab if they want to make it at school on time to grab the bus.

“I can’t use that fact, you know why? That’s racist, I’m too nice to be racist.” He’s saying it teasingly more than seriously but he also knows she has heard a lot about being asian in high school. She must have, he’s heard them too, when she’s not around or when he’s with his own friends and they ask him about her. Most of the times, they end up saying things Liam shuts them down quickly about. He doesn’t take kindly to people talking about her, it’s a known fact. Especially if it’s stupid comments about her race or her gender or her attitude, he just won’t take it.

He’s rising again, to get what he’s been asked to get. Her smoking is still something he doesn’t agree with, something he’ll never agree with. But Liam’s learned really quick that loving someone doesn’t mean you need to be their voice of advice or try to fix them, or undo what they are in order for it to mean you love them very young. So he’s got two already, half empty and making him frown as he walks from corners to corners, precise in where he has to look. He actually has more than idea as to where she drops these things. “I have enough to feed you, I promise, there’s no way I was letting you poison us with the things you keep somewhere.”

Once her underwears safe from his eyes by closing the suitcase, she rose and massaged her cheek. She did slam it quite badly against the floor. She walked towards Liam and grabbed his hand, applying it against her face. « Too nice to be racist, and yet not enough to let go of the fact I am short... If you think I've never seen you laugh when I can't grab something when we run errands, you are dead wrong. » She pushed his hand away from her face.

It was so easy to be close to him, physically close to him. Having his skin against hers, it came so naturally. Back in Korea, her parents would have a heart attack seeing her so close to a single male. She glanced quickly at Liam and bit down an amused smile. Throwing Liam in a room with her parents could be one of the funniest scene she'd witness in her life. Maybe she'd try to organize it, next time her family would come visit.

« Is there only two packs ? » She winced, annoyed. She had started to smoke more than she used to, convincing herself it was to help forgetting the Nikholaus catastrophe. Keeping her mind occupied.

She glanced down at her watch, ready to comment on his disdainful answer at her food offer, but gasped in horror. « We have to run ! » She nearly ripped the cigarettes out of his hands, already placing one between her lips and shoving the rest of them in her purse. She already knew she was going to be laughed at, she looked half crazy, not made up correctly, her purse chosen for its size more than to fit her outfit and her neat hairstyle gone.

She grabbed Liam's arm and pushed him out of her place, grabbing her suitcase in the same move. She forced her jacket into his arms while she kneeled and started to dig into her purse. « Help me find my keys ! »

[lhavi]

[[non-stop // liam&hayi

[lhavi]

He’s expecting her to be in a hurry, but so much that she doesn’t even grace him with a smile in return? Because as one would suppose, Liam has one, big and beaming and also a good morning that immediately dies among the list of things Hayi is immediately throwing his way.

“For someone your size, you’d think organisation and time management would come easy.” He’s not even sure why her size would have anything to do with her having to be good at tidying or getting ready but he likes throwing it in once or twice a day. If not more. His grin’s not fading while Liam makes his way to the said bathroom, he might be more than keen on messing with her.

But he also knows they’re going to be late if he doesn’t start helping her. It’s a certainty that’s been proven numerous times by the parties they’ve attended together. Forget the ladies have to be late to make an entrance thing, Hayi just has to be late because she’s Hayi and he has to be late with her because well, she’s his best friend. Toothbrush and toothpaste in hand he makes his way back to only plop down on her bed and hold it up. Everything he needs has been packed in the bag he has on his back, so really, “What else?”

She was back looking for her swimsuit in her closet, ready to ask him if he thought it'd be okay to just go naked in the sea. If she had to be honest, there was a fair share of their class which had seen her naked. She wasn't exactly the shy drunk type, when he commented on her height, she stopped what she was doing and raised an eyebrow. She wasn't even offended. « Why would it change my organisation ? I mean, you could have used the fact I'm Asian, at least. » She shook her head, gave up on the dressing and dropped on her knees, slaming accidently her cheek against the floor as she started to check behind her bed. With delight, she spotted her swimsuit.

As she grabbed it, she thought what she needed more. « I have a few cigarette packs around the place, can you find as much as you can and pack them ? I really don't want to take the risks of not finding some once we're there, or get into a fight with a teacher because I ditch to buy some. » She got back up on her feet and patted her jacket, making sure her wallet was safely there.

What am I missing ? She grabbed her phone and laptop, everything to charge them and shoved them in her purse. « Have you packed some food ? I think I have a few snacks somewhere, if not. » She was back into her closet, this time, picking underwears. Her fingers caressed the fancy material of some of them, glancing discretely at Liam. Was it bad to hope for-- She stopped hesitating and they joined the rest of her clothes in the suitcase.

[lhavi]

[[non-stop // liam&hayi

@aumiliieu

If she was being honest, she has been procrastinating packing. Well, it really wasn't a secret actually. She just procrastinated. And she had planned to wake up early enough to do it before leaving, and she could, she thought, remember her cellphone ringing but couldn't remember when she fell asleep right back. Which caused the whole situation : her half-hour to pack was gone. She had to sacrifice her makeup, putting on BB cream and some mascara only, before rushing to her luggage and throwing random clothings.

« Swimsuitswimsuitswimsuit, where is it ? » She was muttering to herself, digging deeper in her closet, which truly wasn't big.

When she heard knocking on the door, she ran to open, knowing it would be Liam. She didn't even look at him, he would be smiling widely, probably with a sleepy face and the time to get over it would be a waste in this emergency state, so altogether, she avoided looking at him.

« Liam, please go to the bathroom and grab my toothbrush and my toothpaste. I forgot to pack them along with the makeup. » Maybe if she hurried him enough, he wouldn't think of scolding her, just yet.

[lhavi]

Is that it ? nik'&mia

[telpere]

She really wasn’t the type to give up it seemed, it only made him laugh a little bit. Why was it that she didn’t want to go to school so badly? Nikholaus couldn’t understand really, he quite enjoyed school. There were things to learn and staying at home everyday would be such a bore, because he’d have to lay all the time but also because he most likely wouldn’t be making any friends.

Or playing pranks on his teachers. There were a lot of things to enjoy at school. “Do you hate school?” He asked her instead of giving into her request, even if it was tempting. If he had to keep his hand in hers for the entire trip he could have said yes without questioning. But he just wanted to understand, so all he did was pull her to the side so the teacher wouldn’t be able to catch them talking in front of the classroom.

Then something else occurred to him, as another heat started to press against the skin of his wrist and he fought the urge to scratch at it it might lead her onto what he was suspecting. He’d never seen her before, conclusion she was probably new, conclusion maybe she didn’t hate school, maybe she just hated this new school—and his teacher dared to say that he wasn’t a smart one. 

[lhavi]

Considering how annoying the boy was being, maybe going to class was about to get funnier. But Mia wouldn't give in to the easy way. She never had and never would. She was a stubborn kid, at least, her mother liked to tell all of her friends so. Friends who would cooed at Mia, asking her to be nice and obedient to her mother. Which usually leaded to the exact contrary. "I don't care about school." She hissed lowly, glancing at the corner of the corridor, anyone could pop up and force them into going to class if this stupid boy wasn't more decided to give up.

She seized him with a look. He was taller than her but not really thick. Maybe if she ran suddenly he wouldn't have the reaction to come after her and she would be free. The idea of slapping him came but somehow, the heat under her navel was screaming against it. Considering the length of his legs, he was probably a good runner too. Really, her only chance was to convince him to, a least, let her go if he didn't want to come with her. She grabbed his hand between the both of hers and squeezed it.

"Come on, let's go." She pressured him. She looked above his shoulder at the door of the classroom. "I will give you a kiss !" The pile of bribery was growing in importance and even though she was annoyed by his grip on her hand, the idea of the touch of hislips was giving fluttering in her stomach. She dived her eyes into his, seriously, and waited for her 'yes'.

[lhavi]

Is that it ? nik'&mia

[telpere]

She got out of it so easily, luck of being new, Nikholaus scrunched his nose at it. But then again, he got out of it as well, thanks to her being new, so if anything he felt a bit guilty for having just ratted her out. But not guilty enough to apologise, if it was to redo, he’d do it again. Definitely. 

"It was a bad thing to do." He stated, as a matter of fact, his finger wrapping around his other wrist where suddenly something felt as if it was burning and etching itself on his skin. Her vociferated hateful statement taken a bit too strongly if the way he felt as if something had literally hit him in the stomach could be nay proof that he felt it.

So that it had him sulking a bit, feeling low about the statment. Although he’d just met her. And she was already making him feel that way, a way that he only felt when one of his toys wasn’t going to last be taken away from him. He could have put one and one together right then and there.

But it was only when she turned around after walking away from him, and his eyes rose to the colouring of her cheeks that he could still recognize. Something he often saw his mother have as a reaction around his father. That was when he finally realised it, eyes widening slightly, with the eagerness to tug is sleeve and see what was on his skin.

Instead he found himself smiling at her reaction, finding it quite—adorable as he stopped next to her and nodded, pulling his strap over is shoulder, “It isn’t far.” Nikholaus, him who could talk a miles of words in one sentence, found himself no wanting to say much, a bit amazed by what was happening right now inside of his own little body.

A bit too stunned, he felt like reaching over and grabbing her little hand, then the next thing he knew, as if his mind and body worked together he was doing just that, gripping her hand and leading her to the classroom just two doors away. 

[lhavi]

She never really thought of all the soulmate system. Her mother had met her father when she was in her late twenties. Mia was eight years old and boys were of no interest to her more than friends, for the few she had had in her previous schools. So when she felt the tattoo settling under her navel, she felt uneasy with it.

She was frowning strongly for needing his help but all anger was soon replaced with an astounded expression. His hand in hers felt perfectly right and unexpected. She wanted to jerk her hand away from his, to tell him not to do that ever again. But their hands were fitting so perfectly.

Also, they reached the classroom in a remarkable short time and having his hand in hers helped to stop him from knocking. « Alright, listen. We could escape now. We don't have to go there, we will be back for the parents' time tonight. » Her tone was hurrying, the words leaving her mouth quickly, fighting their way out. It wasn't she was afraid of her new class and new life, she just really didn't want to go.

She glanced at his face and as a last argument she added hurriedly. « I'll let you hold my hand. » as if it was the greatest gift she could give him at the very moment.

[lhavi]

Is that it ? nik'&mia

[telpere]

He wouldn’t have noticed under any other circumstances. For him, school meant fun and he actually knew he would like school, eager to let his mom gives him kisses that he scowled at. Onl resulting in making her laugh. Because she knew he disliked them, so she did it anyway. From the top of his eight years old, Nikholaus understood that really well. 

She even had to add two more reonating kisses today and he couldn’t help but laugh a little. But then the parents were leaving and so was she and he felt a bit sad at seeing her retreating back. But still waved until she was gone. 

He was going to just run inside of the school then, like he always did. Disturbing the hall and making the teachers who’d catch him tell him to slow down. But he stod a bit too long in the front and that was how he caught the sight of another kid, a little girl. That seemed to think that making one with the wall was something that would go unnoticed. Which looked quite amusing if anything.

He couldn’t help but warn her, the words, “It’s forbidden to leave.” Escaping him. But it wasn’t really. She’d get punished of course, but it wasn’t forbidden. He was just exaggarating, for the fun of it. Mischief in  the grin that stretched his lips as he played with the straps of his bag. 

Except that in that moment, the principal also was passing by to make sure all the students were within school grounds or inside of their respective classes. At which point Nikholaus had planned on stepping closer to the other student, to tease her some more for having caught her in a naughty act.

"Nikholaus Peterson." 

He flinched. Because he knew this tone, it meant he was in trouble. And the moment his ear was caught between finger, Nikholaus started wincing, dramatically so before pointing a finger to the source of this trouble. But he had to make sure the principal knew it wasn’t him this time.

"She was trying to leave school!" Knowing that’d probably earn him some sort of enemy in the girl. But seriously, like he was going down alone in this. So he waited until the principal let go of his ear, Nikholaus rubbing it gently as the man made his way towards the little girl.

"Is that true, little one?" The principal’s tone still held a firm note to it and Nikholaus would have laughed, but held it in. Biting his bottom lip as he waited for what would unfold. 

[lhavi]

In her inconscious childish mind, she always had felt like children, in front of adults, should be helping each other. If one lied, the others would only nod. This how she had always lived until now and everyone has been doing also. This boy, stupid stupid boy was definitely the first one who dared breaking the unvoiceable promise between needing kids. And she was going to remember his treason.

She glared at him annoyingly. Time for another plan, Mia. She put a cute pout on her face and looked up at the adult, she literally had no idea who it was, her parents had done all the inscription on their own. «I- I want my mother.» She didn't try to cry. She was eight years old, it could be a little too much. The fact she was a girl though was working for her and she saw the adult bending to her height. «What's your name ?» Without hesitating, she replied. «Mia Woods.» The face of the adult lightened up. «You're our new addition to the school, aren't you ?» She hummed lowly, nodding weakly. «I understand it is difficult to be in a new school, but you'll have to manage with it, Mia, okay ? Your parents can't keep you at home and you'll see you'll get a bunch of friends soon !»

Not exactly what she was trying to reach, but good enough. If she wasn't going to come back home, at least she won't be punished. «Let's get you to your class, shall we ? Nikholaus, I think she's in the same class as you, why won't you take her there and befriend, hum ? Be nice.» The urge to protest, no she didn't want this treator to take her anywhere or even to stay near her, was strong but she just nodded obediently. The adult shooed them away and once he had disappeared, she punched stronly the boy's arm.

«I hate you !» But the itch under her navel was saying otherwise and it got her even more irritated. Her mother had explained to her the soulmate system, that would appear when you met your significant one and Mia felt really annoyed to be match, or supposedly so, with such a moron.

She stomped away from him, not really sure where she was going and after a few steps, she stopped. The embarrassent to ask for help made her blood rush to her cheeks and muttering clearly enough, she finaly let out. «So, are you going to show me where the class is ?»

[hereforhayi]

[lhavi]

Is that it ? nik'&mia

telpere

From the top of her eight years old, Mia was convinced of something. She was already sure she didn't like this school. Her father working for the army got his family used to move around a lot, but he told her it was the last time for a long time. And of course, it had to be one of the lamest schools she ever had to attend to. Holding tightly tonto her mother's hand, the young girl rose her eyes to her mum's face. "Mom, can I have my classes at home like you proposed ?" The woman chuckled and kneeled down, fixing her daughter's outfit. "Mia, everything will be fine. Do you remember this school in Virginia, you hated it at first ?" The kid shook her head, knowing where her mother was trying to lead the conversation. "It's not the same thing !" A hand ruffled her short and already messy hair. "It is."

She scratched the skin just under her navel, where it had itched for the last few days, as if something was waiting to come out, wiggling under her skin and making her uncomfortable. She rubbed distractedly her thumb against her mother's, where the name of her father was clearly tattooed. She knew somehow, instinctively, what the itch could mean for her, for her whole life. At the top of her eight years old, Mia could feel her life changing, taking a turn she wasn't sure to want.

"Mom- " She heard a bell rang, announcing the opening of the school. Her mother kissed her forehead, tenderly, shooed her forwards and watched her entering the building. She stepped into the building and her reluctance shot up. It was the atmosphere, or maybe just her mood, both combined, she didn't know, didn't care but she wanted to be out adn away. Her parents would be upset but they would understand at the end, and she would stay at home, comfortable and safe.

She waited the crowd of parents to thin down, only leaving tears splashed on the ground from kids not totally ready to let go of their childhood. Also, the exit door of the building was clear. Feeling like ehr father probably had felt during the war, she turned on what she called her spy mode and glued herself to the wall, taking small step by small step, a bit more free each inch earned.

Alas, the mission got aborted pretty quickly. "It's forbidden to leave."

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