imagine: michael gray comforts/helps you during a panic attack
you've never felt this way before. sure, you've been anxious before but had never gone through something like this.
you could swear you couldn't breathe. it's like your throat was deliberately closing itself and not allowing the air to circulate through, your heart racing at unbelievable speed... dizziness... palpitations and chest pain.
it felt like you were slowly being detached from your own body... almost as if you were watching yourself from someone else's perspective and you could do nothing about it.
lost in your thoughts, you didn't realise michael had entered the room.
as he stepped into the living room, michael's smile slowly faded as he saw you standing, almost as if you were in pure shock, trying your very best to breathe.
when his eyes landed on your figure, he dropped all the paperwork he was carrying and went to your rescue.
"sweetheart, talk to me. what is happening?" he asks, clear worry in his voice.
in all honesty, you tried, but you couldn't bring yourself to speak.
"it's okay baby, come sit down with me. it should help." he holds your hand and carefully guides you to the sofa with him.
michael's heart broke seeing you like this. he hated the fact that he wasn't there to help you since the beginning and you almost had to go through this horrible thing alone.
not anymore. he was there now, and he was going to help you.
"it's ok love. try to focus on your breathing only. is it ok if we try to breathe at the same time together? very slowly?" he asks.
you nod yes and carefully follow his instructions.
slowing inhaling and exhaling... you both do it a couple of times until you start feeling yourself coming back.
while he tries to get you to come back to your senses, he holds you close to his body.
"you're doing so well baby, I'm so proud of you. let's just keep going for a little bit longer until we get there ok?" he asks.
"okay, but can you please keep holding me?" you ask.
"of course I will. I wouldn't let you go, especially now." you can feel his arms getting tighter around your waist, his face around your neck... how comfortable and warm he feels against your skin...
michael brings you such comfort that it doesn't take too long for you to be back to normal.
"there we go. that's my baby back. how are you feeling now love?" he asks as he softly caresses your face.
"i think i'm alright now. thank you for helping me michael." you say, voice low.
"i'll always be here for you love. I'll never let you go through anything like this alone. never ever." he replies as he lays down with you, pulling your body next to his, giving you a gentle forehead kiss.
🐚 currently I don't write for any ships but when I do l'll tell you guys which ships. some of these are older and they're kinda bad since it's been a while since I wrote them, so please don't point it out.
🐚 also I do my best to write all the readers/ocs so that anyone can relate but if you want me to write a story with the reader being POC just tell me when you request!
🐚 Feel free to request for michael!
🌧️ = angst | 🤍 = fluff | 💋 = smut | ♟️ = dark
ONE-SHOTS —
— i missed you |🌧️|🤍|
You and Henry knew each other since you were kids, then you started dating. One day you were on the way to his house to tell him you were pregnant. But he wasn’t there.
— crush |🌧️|🤍|
Y/N has had a crush on John Shelby for a while but she never expected falling for his cousin.
— savior |🌧️|🤍|
Michael gets very angry of someone flirting and trying to harrass Y/N and decides to make a huge scene about it
— going away |🌧️|🤍|
After his cousin and mother sent him to America Michael was angry with them but then he meet you. Then you guys go back to Birmingham with your kids and another on the way
— what we used to be |🌧️|🤍|
John and Y/N were supposed to get married not John getting married to one of the Lees. When Tommy told her she yelled at him and then slapped him until he explained it her. She told it was fine but she knew it wasn’t. She wasn’t going to intervene in John and Esmes relationship because she wanted him to be happy. She began to move on, with his cousin Michael.
— after party |💋|🤍|
Y/N and Michael have a special after party after one of Tommy’s parties.
— night time love |💋|🤍|
michael comes home from work to find a very need Y/N waiting for him.
SERIES —
— kin |🌧️|🤍| [ongoing]
meeting henry johnson in the small village that she lived in was the best thing that happened to Y/N. he was always there for her ever since she was little. they were each other’s first everything’s. unfortunately this lead to a pregnancy that y/n’s afraid to tell him about.
King Of The World: (Fem!Reader) Just after getting dumped by your boyfriend, you meet Michael at a bar in New York City.
Left Behind: (Fem!Reader) Your boyfriend Michael shows up at your door early in the morning to tell you he has to go back home and you can’t go with him.
Love Twice Gone | Summary: Michael & you were together for two years living in New York City. You break up and he messages you out of the blue. You two go back to seeing the other, but life has other plans.
Sooo, I looked back at some older requests and I saw that I still had one to write about Michael Gray. A huge sorry to @shady-good-girl for taking so long to write this, but it’s finally here! :)
It is kind of a song reference, but not really, haha I don’t know how to describe it - basically, it’s based on the song “The Hills” by The Weeknd.
Thanks to @shady-good-girl for requesting this imagine! You guys seem to always enjoy reading the Finn Cole imagines, so I’m hoping it’ll be the same with Michael :)
Request by @shady-good-girl : so I was thinking maybe a really passionate "friendship" between the reader and Michael, like they both know that there's more, and they long for each other, the tension is insane but every time before something happens Michael just leaves bc "I'm fucked up, that's the real me" (lyric) write it in a way it's painful to read, make it cute and like a relief at the end maybe haha
you actually don't need to refer to the song, just maybe that one line?
Pairing: Michael Gray x Fem!Reader
Warnings: some hints towards some smut, but I don’t write that, and a bit of cursing
(Y/N) = Your First Name ; (Y/H/C) = Your Hair Colour ; (Y/L/N) = Your Last Name
A Messed Up Blinder - Song Reference (”The Hills” by The Weeknd)
Michael rolled off you to lie next to you in the king size bed. Completely out of breath he commented on the action, which had just happened between the two of you
“Woah…”, he breathed heavily trying to calm down again – you weren’t any better, as well trying to catch your breath again you answered
“Yeah, wow…”
The both of you were just lying next to each other for a while before you decided to roll over, looking at the handsome brown-haired boy next to you, only to find him already looking at you. The passion between your shared gaze was almost touchable – it was that strong. Michael admired your beauty and cursed himself in his head for not having you as his girlfriend, because the only status that you guys had, was as people would call it, friends with benefits – you called it a passionate friendship.
You guys might had called it like that, but everyone knew there was so much more, and you knew it as well, just as much as the boy lying next to you. He was way too messed up to ever show real love to someone as perfect and loving as you, so he thought. You were just too shy to mention something. It was a blessing and a cure. You got to mess around whenever you wanted but love never made it to the daylight.
At that moment there was more than just the friendship you shared – it was love, but Michael couldn’t keep it that way.
“Ehm”, he cleared his throat awkwardly “I-I…”, he rolled onto his back, only to rose his body up to stand up “I have to go.” Michael was looking for his clothes that were scattered around the room, every now and then tripping either over his own feet or your clothes.
You frowned and sat up, grabbing the bed sheet over your chest
“What do you mean, you have to go?”
He quickly shot a glance up at you
“Yeah, well, Tommy said he needed me for something in the night and it’s already eight, so I’m gonna head out.”
You did not believe a single word he said, how could he think you would with a shaky voice and stuttering like that
“You didn’t tell me anything about that earlier”,
“Eh, I-I forgot.”
You took off the sheets that covered your body angrily, so you could stand up and grab the silk nightgown from a chair next to the door. Michael’s eyes were following your naked body.
“Alright, get out”, your voice was flat, but the pain was able to be heard. You tied your gown around your body and turned around, Michael looked at you in slight shock
“OK”, he nodded his head as he quietly walked past you.
You couldn’t help but look at him leaving the room.
That situation was sadly nothing new for you, it happened almost every second week when you’re together. Michael was so messed up and you knew it, being a Blinder really messes with you – it did with your brother, who killed himself a year ago, due to being threatened. Your lovers job was dangerous, and you tried to get him away from it as often as possible, but he never let the conversation continue, he didn’t ever want to talk about it – he didn’t want you to worry, but that never crossed your mind, you had always thought that he was just too stubborn. You worked in Tommy’s office, taking care of all the finances and taking calls, et cetera – that’s how you met him.
After Michael left, you didn’t really know what to do, so you decided that maybe you should go out and have a bit of fun in The Garrison, hoping the young Peaky Blinder wouldn’t be there.
--- About An Hour And A Half Later ---
You were ready, had done your make-up, dressed up a bit and were about to exit your apartment. Walking through the hallway, you passed the tall standing mirror and you took a look at yourself and the gorgeous dress you wore. It was gold with frays at the bottom which went just below your knees and matched your (Y/H/C) hair. It almost went off your shoulder with its short loose sleeves. The small details on the dress were more of a silver-gold glitter colour which made it look fancier. Your curves were perfectly noticeable, and you were very happy with the way you looked in that dress – it had been a birthday present from Michael from last year.
After grabbing your small bag with a chain as its strap to carry it on your shoulder, you looked for your keys next to the door and put them into the bag. You opened the door, closed it shortly after, and made sure to lock it properly. The breezing wind of the night hit you immediately and you could feel yourself getting a shiver from being out in the cold and not having a jacket with you, so you took off and started walking towards your favourite bar in Birmingham – it was two streets away. While walking through the dark streets, that had only a few street lights, making it look uncomfortable, if you had to be honest. A lot of the men on the side of the streets had their eyes on you, following your frame with a hungry look, making you speed up your walk.
After the anxious walk through the streets of the dark Birmingham, you finally arrived at your desired destination. Opening the door of the bar, the smell of alcohol and smoke mixed with a bit of sweat immediately hit you, but you were used to it, so it didn’t really bother you. You saw a free seat right at the bar right away and decided to take it for the night. The bartender saw you and walked over to take your order
“What can I get for a beautiful lady?”
It made you smile shyly
“A Margarita, please”,
“Coming right up”, he nodded.
As you were waiting for your drink, you started looking around the fully packed room of all kinds of men, only with a few women, and most of them were probably being paid. One man caught your eyes though, he was tall, had dark hair and wore a good-looking suit, he was probably a bit older than you, possibly around Tommy’s age – someone rich, maybe. You shared a look with seductive eyes. Yes, you had Michael, but you had wanted something more, something meaningful, your parents always bothered you with getting married and having kids as soon as possible, and you weren’t getting any younger – but with the young Blinder, that was never going to happen.
“Here you go, love”, the bartender interrupted your flirting and handed you your drink.
“Thank you…”, you trailed, waiting for him to tell you his name
“Ed”, he wore a smug smile on his face.
“Thank you, Ed.”
“And what might your name be?”, Ed leaned on the countertops with his hands.
“I could be a Jennilyn or maybe… a Rose?”, you shared the same smile, but then gave him your actual name
“(Y/N).”
He straightened up “Well, you definitely look like a (Y/N), a beautiful name for a beautiful lady.”
Right then, you knew he was a player and got disinterested, but still tried to hold up the conversation, damn you always having to be so polite.
“I’ll take a Bourbon please”, a thick southern European accent appeared behind you. Your head turned to the left, only to see the tall dark-haired man taking the free seat next to you – he gave you a warming a smile. Ed looked annoyed at the sudden interruption but started making the older man his drink, almost never taking his eyes off the two of you.
A wave of confidence overcame you just by sitting next to him
“Where are you from?”
His smiled proudly and took the toothpick out of his mouth
“Italy. And I guess you’re from around here.”
You leaned on the bar top with your right arm
“Yeah, hard to tell, right?”
Your answer made him laugh. The sound was deep, yet comfortable, but definitely held something dark behind it.
“Luca Changretta”, he extended his hand and you took it
“(Y/F/N) (Y/L/N)”, he took your hand and placed a kiss on the back of it – you blush hard, but hoped due to the bar always being only slightly lit, that he couldn’t see it.
The bartender brought Luca his drink, but smashed it on the surface, and made some of the liquid swap out.
“Thank you”, the older man remarked, never taking his eyes off you.
“What is a woman like you doing here all alone?”, he wondered.
“I don’t know. Letting go, hoping to calm down and have some fun.”
“You don’t look like someone who would have to calm down from something. You’re way too innocent for anger”, his Italian accent was thick, but you really liked it.
“Oh if you only knew”, you took a sip from your drink, not before giving him a flirtatious look.
Luca was very fond of you and wanted to know more, so the conversation kept going on for a while.
The door of the Garrison opened and closed every now and then, but with your back turned towards it, keeping your gaze on the handsome man, you didn’t know who entered or left, and didn’t really care. But you better should have had, because one time when the door opened, some of the Peaky Blinders entered, including John, Finn, Isaiah and of course, Michael. Luca sighted them right away but didn’t show any sign of it. But the gang saw him as well, John being the first to see you sitting right in front of the dangerous Italian. He didn’t want Michael to see it too but was too late because the youngest Blinder, Finn, had already told his cousin and even pointed at the two of you at the bar. Michael’s anger rose, and he stormed up to you
“I have to talk to you”, his sudden encounter made you jump
“I’m talking right now, we can talk tomorrow”, you snapped at him and turned your attention towards you again. Polly’s son didn’t let go
“No. Right now”, he demanded. Before you could snap again, Luca took the chance
“She said not right now, what do you not understand about it?”, he asked provocatively.
Michael absolutely lost it
“Alright you fuckin’ Eyetie, you don’t a saying in this, go back to your other blokes and eat your spaghetti.”
“Michael! Stop it!”, you were boiling with anger at that point
Luca rose up from his seat and was then standing in front of Michael – you thought he would hit the younger one.
“I advise you to leave”, the Italian tried to stay calm and polite, but Michael had other plans
“Oh, please, you don’t advise me anything.”
Luca took one more step towards the Blinder, towering over him, but your “lover” didn’t back down, so before anything could happen, you stepped in
“Alright, what do you want?”, your questioned Michael. He looked you in the eyes and nodded over to the room, where all the Blinders would always meet. He took off, wanting you to follow him.
You turned to the dark-haired man
“I’m sorry, I’ll be right back”, you excused yourself and he gave you an understanding smile.
As you were making your way to the Peaky Blinders’ room, you cursed under your breath
“This better be freakin’ important Gray.”
You entered the room and smashed the door close, which made Michael, who was leaning on the table, turn around.
(please ignore John in the background of the gif)
“What do you want? I thought Tommy needed you”, you reminded him of his statement from before.
“He did! And now I’m done, come here to have a drink only to see you all over that fuckin’ wop”,
“Michael! So help me whoever is up there, if you call him anything like that one more time – “, you walked up to him with your index finger right in the face, but he interrupted you
“What? Hm? What will you do? Hit me?”, he was pretty much making fun of you. You smirk and smacked him right across the face
“Yes. That is EXACTLY what I will do.”
Michael turned back to you in the eyes. Suddenly he grabbed your face and smashed his lips onto yours. Hungrily your lips moved against each other with your bodies close together, not even a sheet of paper fitting between the two of you. The kiss held anger, hurt, passion, and love in it, all mixed together. He turned you around, to lay you down on the table. He started kissing your neck and you sat up. Everything happened with too many emotions, but mostly anger.
--- A Short While Later ---
You straightened your dress and tried fixing your hair as well as possible, while Michael was fixing his belt
“What was that?”, you wondered.
“What do you mean?”, the young Blinder acted confused.
You got angry again, way too often for that one day
“You know exactly what I mean Michael, stop acting so oblivious to this all! The only thing we do is mess around, is that really what you want!?”, you screamed. He walked over to you and covered your mouth with his right palm
“Shut up! Don’t scream. I don’t know what you’re talking about, alrigh’? You enjoy it, I enjoy it, everything’s fine, that’s it.”
You grabbed the hand from your face and smacked it away
“No, I don’t enjoy it. I will take no more of this. We’re done.”
Your sudden statement did not only shock Michael but yourself as well. You had never acted this way when it came to your passionate “friendship”, but this time was one too many. After collecting all your belongings, you exited the room and came right into sight with the rest of the gang, who entered the bar before. You turned your sight towards the bar, expecting the tall Italian sitting there, but he wasn’t.
“Where’s Luca?”, you asked the Blinders in front of you.
“We told him to leave”, John answered bluntly.
Your anger rose once more but decided not to take it out on the men, but to just walk out. Exiting the bar, you made sure to smash the door and started making your way back home, wanting nothing more than to just sleep and forget about that night.
--- The Next Day ---
You woke up to an impatient knocking on your front door. As you got back home last night, you had been too lazy and tired to make your way to your bedroom and just decided to crash on the sofa. The knocking didn’t stop, and you decided to get up and look who was disturbing you so early. As you opened it, your landlord came to sight. The old lady looked tired and was out of breath
“Please, (Y/N), dear, go downstairs to that boy. He’s been there the entire morning and won’t go away.”
You got really confused
“What? What boy?”, you questioned.
She was slowly catching her breath again
“I don’t know his name, but I’ve seen him around here, I know you have something going on with him… and I don’t know what happened, but he won’t stop asking for you.”
You huffed
“Alrigh’, thank you, Sarah.” You gave her a thankful smile and closed the door again.
The thought of not going downstairs and just ignoring him came to your mind, but you didn’t want to annoy the lovely lady, and just went to grab your gown and shoes, and opened the apartment door, to walk downstairs.
While walking down the stairs slightly annoyed, a lot of things were going through your head. What does he want? Why now? Why can’t he just let it go? And also, what should you say? Your thinking stopped when you saw Michael through the front door, standing on the pavement, waiting for you. The sound of the door opening made the young men look up. You decided to start the conversation
“Mornin’”, your voice was flat.
“Mornin’”, he nodded back.
“So?”, you asked, wanting him to either excuse or explain himself.
He rubbed his hand together
“I-I’m… I’m sorry”, he looked into your eyes. You were shocked – he had never said sorry with so much hurt in his voice. It sounded like he actually meant it.
“What?”, you decided to play oblivious for once.
“You know… everything”, he paused “Especially yesterday.”
You nodded your head understandingly. The both of you kept your gaze down, not wanting to see the hurt in each-others eyes. Especially because tears were starting to form in your eyes
“You know I can’t do this anymore”, your voice was shaky even though you tried swallowing it down.
Michael heard it and looked back at you. He approached you
“I know… After I saw you yesterday with that Italian bloke, I just- I- I knew… that I- I can’t do this anymore.”
Your head shot up – you looked at him in shock, scared of what was about to follow. His blue eyes stared into yours
“I tried suppressing it, but I can’t anymore. The whole messing around, it-it’s not enough. I want you. I want you and your love. I don’t just want your body to fool around… But I’m so messed up, I don’t even know why or how you ever wanted to sleep with me. You deserve so much more...”, he paused again and took a breath
“I love you.”
You smiled. He had never made you this happy, ever. No word could describe what you felt at that point. But because you took some time to react, Michael got worried. Shortly after you got on your tiptoes and pecked his lips, only for him to grab you by the waist and kiss you deeply. For about a minute the kiss was pure love and passion, no anger, no hurt.
The two of you separated
“No more friendship. No games. No more of just messin’ around”, you remarked.
He smiled down at you
“No more. I promise.”
---
I’m sorry, but I had to somehow bring Luca into this imagine, I love him way too much not to, haha
It’s a bit of a long one, one of my longest, so I hope you enjoyed reading it.
