❛ die first ❜ - john shelby
genre: fluff and maybe kind of angsty.
this was inspired by some songs i was listening to so, feel free to lisen to them while reading this. <3
"die first" by nessa barret
"fourth of july" by sufjan stevens
a person ideally suited to another as a close friend or romantic partner.
that’s the definition often attributed to the word that has long haunted your mind.
you grew up hearing about people daydreaming about the day they meet their soulmates, how their life would suddenly make sense and everything would be finally all right.
having another half, someone who completes you, someone you share a deep connection with… another soul roaming this earth, made just for you?
some things sound too good to be true.
met by accident when, at a fair, you’ve turned to speak to your sister and you were faced by him, confused as ever and staring you in the eyes.
embarrassed, quickly apologising and justifying yourself.
that's when john smiled at you could swear that was the moment you realised what everyone meant when they spoke about love at first sight.
you always thought you’d never fall in love… until you saw him.
getting to know john and eventually deciding you two belonged together taught you a few things but mainly...
one. two sounds don’t find each other simply by accident.
two. a soulmate isn’t someone who completes you. a soulmate is someone who encourages you to complete yourself and who loves you regardless of your imperfections. it’s someone who loves you so dearly that it’s nearly impossible to doubt how capable you are of becoming whom you have always wanted to be.
three. there is no sadness in sunsets because you know it will rise again.
"do you think we will be together in another lifetime too, john?" you ask, admiring the beautiful night sky.
"why'd you ask, darling?" he smiles.
"was just wondering. eventually everything ends... and i don't want to live again without you by my side." you sigh.
john sits up, and instructs you to do the same. his hand grab your face, as he looks right into your eyes.
"i'm scared to live without you, john. i don't want to have to learn how to live a life that you're not part of." you say.
"where's all of this coming from, darling? hm?" he speaks, voice low and caring.
"i was just thinking..." you reply back.
"you'll never lose me. even if you loose me first, i will always come back to find you. i will always come back for you." john speaks.
silence falls between you two.
"if i ever leave before you, find me in the sky. look at the moon, it will be me looking after you." he smiles.
"don't say that, john" you tug at the bottom of his shirt.
"it's true. i'd be the moon and you'd be the sun. the moon loves the sun so much that he dies every night just to let the sun breathe." john speaks.
"i love you, john. i love you so much, i can't explain how much of you i have in my heart." your eyes start to tear up.
"i love you too. you dance inside my heart, where no one else can see." he softly smiles. "you're the closes to heaven that a man like me will ever be."
"some day everybody's leaving... so if one of us dies, i hope i die first." you say while softly kissing him.
"i'll break the curse. i'll always come back to find you... in this life or in the next hundred. i will always look for you, my love." he says.
