34 - I Miss You by Candy Hearts; "I miss you and you haven't even left yet..."
i opted to write a fanfic instead of a blurb like your post originally said because it's been a bit since i wrote something for btr and wanted to stretch my muscles. a d i give up on trying to write anything short ever. i just have to accept i'm a wordy bitch and can't manage it 🙃. enjoy!
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“You know when I asked you over, it was so we could hang out. Not for you to pack for me.”
Leaning back on her heels, Mickey sent a sheepish smile James' way. "You're kinda bad at it though, so..."
"I know how to pack."
She snorted while folding a shirt; she didn't need to look at his face to know he was pouting. "Yeah, for the beach. Or a hockey game. Or a photo shoot."
"You say that like they're not important."
"James, you pack for a party." Once they went to a wrap party for Dak and Camille's newest Lifespan movie and James hadn't shown his face for an hour and a half upon realizing Jet had showed up and they had matching shoelaces. Mickey still shook her head about that one.
He threw his arms in the air. "I need options! I can't show up in just anything you know. And what if someone's wearing the same sneakers at me?"
"God forbid someone shops from the same store."
He continued on as if he didn't hear her, "Then I'd have to change and it'd mess with the rest of my outfit and then I'd have to change that. And then there's the accessories. I mean, you don't expect me to pair a watch that doesn't match my belt or my shoes do you?"
Frankly, she didn't expect him to pair a white sock with an off-white sock at this point; it was all ridiculously overblown to her. But it mattered to James and, deep down, she admired his passion and how self-assured he was. He didn't care if anyone else understood, as long as it made sense to him and fit what he wanted out of his life without apology.
But that didn't mean she didn't find his idiosyncrasies ridiculous sometimes.
Like now.
“I’m trying to help you save space. I know how much you end up bringing back, souvenirs aside.” Glancing back down, she surveyed the rows of shirts and pants she’d unfolded, refolded, and stacked in a more efficient manner. Not that he had initially packed wrong but…well, her way was better. "Your fans have always been good to you."
Besides, she liked packing. Call her a nerd, but the satisfaction she got from being able to fit everything in its place was unmatched. Going down a list and leaving check marks in her wake gave her a little thrill, like completing a puzzle. She even found it a little fun.
And it was the perfect distraction.
While she rearranged the piles and she didn't have to think about the nagging twist in her stomach, didn't have to put a name to the heaviness in her heart that made her sleep so restless the last few days. With her mind focused on the task—well, mostly focused on it; James could be a hell of a distraction, in more ways than one—her mind couldn't wander. And in the end this would save him time from having to send Kelly out to get a toothbrush or extra underwear or because he forgot them. Again.
She was only looking out for him, really.
"I wish you guys were coming with us," he said.
She did too; getting the chance to see the world didn't happen to people like her every day. And being able to see it with her friends and her boyfriend while on a run of playing sold-out shows would've been the icing on the cake.
Walking the streets in a foreign city, immersing herself in the culture she'd only read about in books would be a dream come true. And trying all their food? She could make her stomach growl just from thinking about the old recipes that were probably handed down for generations.
And the idea of being there with James, experiencing it all, hand-in-hand was enticing as much as it made her pull a face and roll her eyes at herself for thinking it in the first place.
Because it was sappy.
And cliche.
And...real.
It was one thing to go on dates and spend time together at the Palm Woods or in LA, and a completely new beast out in the rest of the world.
In their musical bubble, hidden behind four walls, decked out in the shadows behind him on stage, she was safe. Out in the world, she'd be perceived and people would have opinions and she already had enough of those on her own without that white noise filtering in.
She already had a hard time not tearing herself down, especially in regards to wondering what James saw in her; she didn't need the world agreeing with her.
"I think Uncle Gustavo would lose whatever hair he has left if we were all let loose in the world," she said instead, avoiding his gaze. Because she knew that look on his face, eyes shining in earnest at the sincerity wrapped in his statement; it always cut through her and she knew it'd only make the knot in her tighten. "Besides," she said after clearing her throat, ridding herself of the lump starting to form, "albums don't record themselves. We couldn't pass this opportunity up."
"Still..."
How he managed to load so much gravity into one word still astounded her. She took his hand and gave it a squeeze. "You won't even notice; you'll be too busy having the time of your life—no pun intended."
He moved to say something but she beat him to it, hefting the bag off the floor and dropping it onto his lap where he'd been sitting on his bed for the last hour. "Here, don't forget to add your lucky things."
James' eyes dropped from her face to the bag in his lap and back up at her, before his cheeks rounded at the strength of his smile.
She never stood a chance.
In a flash he lunged off the bed and grabbed her, making her let out a shriek of equal surprise and when he lifted her off the ground with little effort. Once he pulled her onto his lap, his fingers tickled up and down her sides, turning her wiggling to escape into squirms powered by unrestrained giggling.
"Wait - no! I'm not gonna fit!" she managed to gasp between her laughter as James grabbed her by the ankles and tried to stuff her feet into the bag.
"Well, you'll have to find a way 'cause I'm taking you with me."
"James!"
"What? You told me not to forget my lucky things."
"I meant your v-neck or your comb."
"A lot of good things in my life happened since the day I met you, Mickey. You're worth more luck than than them combined."
Her sides hurt. Heat encircled her neck and pooled in her cheeks. Her heaving chest slowed as the mirth eased to simmering contentment. Beneath it all, her body thrummed as she digested his words soaked in candor.
It came to a stuttering halt at the rapid knocking on the door.
The interruption of the moment must've got to James as well because he let out a long sigh before acknowledging, "That's the pizza."
"I thought you don't eat dairy before shows." The tour officially started in two days but James took his vocal health seriously. A month before he increased his warm ups and warm downs, two weeks before he started popping vitamin c supplements like candy, and the week before he completely cut out dairy. His dedication was unmatched.
"I don't," he said, lifting her legs to hop off the bed. "Besides, it's not real cheese anyway."
"How appetizing."
She scooted up to the headboard and flopped against his pillows. A plume enveloped her—the crisp, green notes of his body wash, the rich, exotic ylang-ylang of his cologne (she refused to call it man spray), the fresh scent of his shampoo, and the amber-y warmth of him.
The knot inside her yanked loose and the flood of longing rushed through her.
It hit her all at once: she missed him.
And she almost laughed aloud at the crazy notion. She missed him and he hadn't even left yet. How was that possible? Yet there she was, willing to further match the cliches she'd read about or seen in movies by grabbing a hoodie balled in the corner and taking it with her. At least then she'd be able to have a part of him while he was thousands of miles away.
She wrinkled her nose at the thought, to smooth it out a second later. What would be wrong with that? He was her boyfriend after all. And James had no problem laying it all out there....
Grasping the hoodie, she pulled it to her face, taking a deep breath of the heavy fabric, almost seeing him lounging around in it in a cold studio, lying in bed while waiting for his body to ease into sleep, bundling up after a hockey game, memorizing the scent of him embedded on the threads of fabric. Another breath and the weight on her heart eased.
He came back into the room balancing the box on his palm as she spread the hoodie out across her lap, smoothing out a sleeve, messing with the cuffed ribbed hem at the end, thinking of the way his hand held hers, solid and steady.
The world could borrow him for a few months; with his fingerprints inked into her skin, he was rooted to her in the way that counted.
"What?"
Mickey blinked. "What?" she echoed.
"You have a funny look on your face." Settling with his back to the wall, James' fingers curled in a quick motion, popping the seal of a can of sparkling water. He took a swig, let out a quick burp, wiped his mouth with the back of his hand, and handed ber a slice.
"Do I?" At his nod she set the hoodie aside, trying to piece together the right sentence to explain. But she stopped, exhaled, and offered up a smile. She didn't need to explain anything at all, especially not to herself. Something told her he'd understand. "It's nothing. You're...just having a really good hair day today, that's all."
At that he grinned, leaned over, and kissed her cheek. "I was hoping you'd notice."
btw, i have a public pinterest board for the masons in case anyone wanted to get a better idea of how their lives are shaped / how i see them in my head
since @partiallypearl sends me so many song suggestions for the mason girls, i decided to (aka she pushed me to) make playlists for them that would either play in the "background" of scenes, be something that reflects their headspace, or be included on their "tie-in" album that goes along with btr season 1.
fun fact: in my head, they have their own "spin-off" show that focuses on the girls going through life and the growing pains of moving in with their aunt kelly they, at that point, only saw twice a year while the btr stuff goes along concurrently. go figure would be their theme song and escape route would be the credits song for every ep.
fun fact#2: "where i belong" is a song they'd record that features kendall
