To be brave.
I found a song that seemed to fit our beloved wizard Nora from @d20error very well, so I got real emotional and wrote something.
This is especially for the lovely @sirussly .
You pinch your cheeks
Bring back the colour
Some winters can make a world of difference
Taking a step outside, Nora took a deep breath.
It was a clear night, the stars shining bright on the dark blue sky.
At least they stayed the same.
She remembered how as a child she would stare out of the window, marvelling at the different constellations, the moon, and the world outside of the library.
Never did she expect to be out here so soon, the same stars reminding her of the place that she used to call home and that she could now only hope to return to one day.
Or to whatever was left of it.
But you belong here
Wed to a timezone
Of draughty hearts, of stoic arts and crafts.
Everything had changed.
Within a few weeks everything was different again.
They weren’t alone anymore.
There were new people with new stories and suddenly they were talking.
After 2 years of icy silence and never ending meaningless discussions, they were talking, having real conversations about the past, the future.
They could become friends, Nora thought, this could actually turn into something good.
Yet she wasn't sure if she was ready. Ready for this to be good.
Whether she was ready to take the risk of getting hurt, yet again.
Whether she was ready to face the wounds the past had left on her.
Whether she was ready to be good.
You try to be brave, make it go away
Leave the lights on sometimes all night
And carry on regardless
So you won’t get swallowed up by the darkness
She had promised herself not to bring up her past.
There was too much pain, too much build up anger, she was afraid she’d explode once she let it out.
Nothing could change what had happened.
It was too late now.
She had to move on, swallow the pain and focus her thoughts on the present.
It was the only way to stay sane, the only chance to get anything out of this situation, the only way to reach her goal.
Never look back.
Try to be the brave, don’t give the game away
You’re a strong one just carry on and
No one needs to notice that there’s
Only silence holding this
Yet there were these moments.
These moments when she just wanted to cry and scream and shout out to the world to finally give her back what she lost.
These moments when she just wanted to talk and never stop, let it all out on the chance that it might change something. Anything.
These moments when she just wanted to slam her fists into the wall and soak up the pain.
These moments when she just wanted him to stop, to stop Ren from being so miserable, from making everything so complicated.
All these moments when she just wanted to cry and scream and shout and talk and slam her fists into the wall and make him change.
But she didn’t.
She never did.
Always prepared to make excuses
To go along, to nod in firm agreement
Living with Ren had never been easy.
They were always edging on, both of them too stubborn to give in.
Sometimes she got tired of him, so tired she just nodded and went along.
Often she had to remind herself why she was doing all this.
Sometimes she lost track of time, the sun rising and setting, the days becoming longer and shorter, the days and months and years passing and them always running.
Often she asked herself why Ren stayed with her when all they ever did was fight.
But sometimes having someone to dislike might be better than having no one at all.
But there’s no rest on shaky ground
And we are guilty looking down
Just careless creatures trying to save face
A cloud pushed its way in front of the moon, blocking the blue light from Nora’s face.
She took another deep breath.
Pictures appeared in her head.
Tam playing a tune on her whistle, tapping her foot for the beat, while dancing along happily. Tam standing in the middle of a bloody battlefield, throwing the disembodied head of an enemy several feet across the floor.
Augie, his grin broader than his face in the kitchen of the guild, unintentionally flirting with the cook, completely oblivious. Augie laying heavy in her arms after barely escaping death.
Val standing over Ren using all her power to heal him, not giving in until he wakes up. Val turning into a red eyed wolf and after taking out an enemy turning on Tam and tearing into her.
Nora shook her head. So much had happened within the last weeks and slowly it dawned on her that she wasn’t the only one keeping secrets.
All of them were.
These are the screenshots, these are the moments we lived
To keep on smiling, to keep on smiling through it.
When you’ve got nothing, when you’ve got nothing to give
Turn up the filter, don’t admit it.
With a last look at the now cloud filled sky, Nora stepped back inside.
Only sharing a quick glance with Ren who was sitting in the corner of the room.
She wasn’t quite sure, how she had ended up in this place and where they would be going next.
Nothing was ever saved and nothing ever stayed the same.
That she had learned.
She’d reach her goal eventually.
She had to.
But until then she’d just have to try to be brave...
--------------------
@vagueenthusiast @knotthebrave @asklilyluna @curly-haired-wizard @seriouslyprongs
And thanks @rainbowsandsilverlinings for proof reading c;