Life is a challenging, beautiful, strange passage
I have gone through so many ebbs and flows that I've lost track of how many .....
I'm a solitary creature, a true Scorpio personality. I've loved and lost so much from family, to friends, to lovers.
I've been alone for so long and loneliness only felt awkward back in my early 20s.
Now approaching 49 in exactly twenty-eight days from this day; Sunday October 8th I often think retrospectively about all the little things I've experienced. I'm trying to move beyond the mistakes I made when I was younger, but some destructive personality traits remain ever present.
Mentally-speaking, I know the worth and value that I bring to those that encounter me but considering the state of society presently, my hope and ambition have fizzled away. Other than what I do at work, I'm literally a ghost. This has been by choice; feeling both emboldened and lonely at the same time.
I try not to bother others unless they infringe on my peace of mind. If I see that people are being obviously illogical, I will voice my opinion.
If I see people that mirror my like ideologies or vibes, I feel a pull to them but still don't bother with initiating communication.
Honestly, I don't feel like they want my attention nor my opinions; plus I just don't know whether I am a good enough person anymore to be a part of their lives.
So alone I remain, thinking to myself, trudging through each day, and living whatever this life is even though I feel like times are hopeless