#middle-aging

[goodlinesfrombadpoems]

Middle-Aging

I miss having crushes on the soulmate of what I projected myself to be, the kind of strange mismatched mingling that could only happen in my head, a typhoon of passion-fruit knocking out all of the power of logic— all seasoning, no reasoning. First in high school when we were all little horn dogs, and then in college when we took the socio-path less traveled. Self-conscious, but not self-aware, lusting after love and living to like others, now I get my kicks watching Question Time in the Australian Parliament and looking back at my car, I’m not so much middle-aged as run up on the median, my emotions are no longer in motion, and my passions have long passed me by.

[lttrsfrmlnrrgby]

Update schedule

So... if you're reading the "When Duty is Done" series, please know that while the last two chapters of "Homecoming" are both partly done and that the opening section of the Stewjon chapter is also mostly done, I apparently am having a sciatica episode. My work office chair, which I haven't sat in for a year, until this last week 100% on site, is the apparent culprit. Hooray (?!?) for new and exciting middle-aged physical woes. The boss is going to be thrilled that I am going to want one of those expensive Swedish kneeling chairs, since that's what I've been using at home and I've been fine.

It hurts a lot (like, an intense amount, just, so much, and ice and heat and resting and NSAIDs and Tylenol are only doing so much and it is so shooty and stabby and horrible) so I haven't had the concentration to really finish. Sitting up for long or typing for long aggravates it, even if I use my ersatz standing desk (folding sturdy lap desk) in my home office. So. Working on it, but it might be a bit.

Wish me luck at the urgent care and the acupuncturist today-- I am deeply fortunate to have a primary care practice that is holistic and takes their female-identified patients seriously, so I'm all lined up for 1) office visit/x-ray/ruling out other things, and 2) acupuncture, but I am not expecting my first session to be a miracle cure.