#midnight fears

[aleztaken]

hi

Whats your fav asym game

Forsaken

Die Of Death

Pwned By 14:00

Break In And Steal Things

Pillar Chase 2

Outcome Memories

Midnight Fears

Violence District

Other (post in reply/reblog)

Voting ended onAug 23, 2025

[quickienewyork]

Good morning,

Last night I went from the depths of fear to a moment of grace.

I awoke around three am and my chest was tight, I couldn’t breathe, and I was overwhelmed with fear. My heart was going to explode and if I slept I would never wake up. The thought gripped me fully and I was pulled wide awake in terror.

As I focused on my body, I realized my head was congested. And while it didn’t help, it at least offered a reason I could understand. I could only take in air through one nostril, and the pain in my chest was heartburn as my stomach rumbled. 

But understanding an intellectual truth rarely vanquishes the gripping emotions which have already settled in.

I took something for the congestion and something else for the anxiety, but I eventually found myself in the shower standing under the hot water and staring out the window at the few cars passing by. After an hour I was still awake, still scared, and growing more worried by the minute.

With the water falling on my face, I changed my breathing–in quickly and out slowly–and I reminded myself that I was okay. In and out, slowing everything down as the steam cleared my head and my breathing opened my heart.

When I crawled back into bed, close to four thirty now, I put my hands over my chest and found myself praying. It was a prayer for peace and for comfort. It was a prayer to help ease my fear and I felt it sweep through me as I reached out in desperation. 

As I continued to breathe slowly, words of forgiveness ringing in my ears and hoping for relief, I was filled with the powerful realization of how unkind I’ve been to myself.

I’ve been struggling so hard to keep working, keep writing, keep selling and I’ve been so busy that I hadn’t noticed that I was tearing myself up. Holding myself to a standard that shouldn’t exist and tightening everything until I could barely think let alone breathe.

As whatever bit of grace or mercy swept through me, my chest opened and a soft pleasure overwhelmed me, the sheets and the bed suddenly comforting and warm. In the middle of it all, I somehow let go of my fear and my anger and instead discovered love lurking in the dark–willing to return.

I love you I whispered again and again to god and myself, my hands still on my heart as the last of the fear and the last of the grinding pressure vanished.

And in that brief moment of calm, I drifted back to sleep, kindness finally taking the reins in a soft and gentle embrace.

This morning I am okay. And wonderfully, I am alive. And the words of St. Julian that rocked me to sleep just hours earlier sound in the back of my mind as a gentle reminder.

All will be well. All manner of things will be well.

-gny

[midnightfears4u-blog]

Midnight Fears

Midnight Fears

Midnight Fears

(via https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yK7V4n91Xtk)

[meedanduh]

Hard

Will it ever get easier? Why does it have to be so hard. Love is great... But this is painful.. And I am so scared...

[winterforeverr-blog]

Absolutely terrified that someone slim and beautiful is going to come along and steal my whole life

[jared-tyler]

untitled by Marina Refur on Flickr.

[never-dim-your-light]

[187/365] by Marina Refur on Flickr.