“Hey hey hey, what’s wrong?” Yoohyeon sat beside Mira on her bed, grabbing her shoulders and leaning forward in an attempt to see her face. She was trembling in her arms and trying her best not to inconvenience her other members. “Did something happen?”
“It’s over.” She shook her head, hiding her face in her palms as she let her emotions run free.
“Over? With Wonwoo?” Her eyes widened as she was taken back. “Are you two breaking up?”
She nodded, balling up one of her fists as she wiped her eyes with the other. It really felt like she was stabbed with a knife. She let her body fall against Yoohyeon as she cried, her cheek pressed to her shoulder. Her member wrapped her arms around her, giving her a tight hug and cradling her head close.
She shushed Mira, rocking her back and forth while brushing her fingers through her hair. She was dumbfounded by the news. It was just their luck that the maknae walked past the bedroom, stopping in her tracks to peek in and see the girl crying.
“Unnie?...” Gahyeon called out to her with concern.
Yoohyeon looked at her with a pout, motioning her hand. “Can you tell Handong to come here?”
The youngest nodded, pulling the door and seeing to her request.
“Do you think you’d feel better talking to Handong?” After all, Handong was the one who knew Mira better than anyone else. Perhaps even her own parents.
She couldn’t speak up, only nodding her head to communicate.
“I don’t understand. I thought things were going well between you two?”
That’s what she thought too. Yoohyeon tried not to cry herself after seeing Mira cry, letting out a shaky sigh as she tucked her hair behind her ear. “Your makeup is running. Can I get you a cold rag?”
Handong soon came in, the scene before her sending her into protective mode. “What happened?” She kneeled in front of Mira, placing her hands on her knees and looking up at her. There were only a couple instances that Handong had seen her like this.
Unable to speak, Yoohyeon stood up and talked for her. “Her and Wonwoo are breaking up…”
The girl tried her best to be quiet, but being reminded of the fact that this was the situation she was in broke her heart even more.
Handong widened her eyes, looking up at Yoohyeon and taking a second to process what she told her. Of course, with dating, there was always the fear that a couple would break up eventually but she never imagined her and Wonwoo to be that case.
She stood back up, her posture sharp and intimidating. “I’m gonna kill him.”
As the woman turned to leave, Mira quickly grabbed her wrist. When she looked back, the girl was shaking her head, pleading quietly to stop. “I-It’s not his fault.”
“Well it most definitely isn’t yours either.” She squeezed her hand, switching spots with Yoohyeon who left to get her a cold washcloth. “Let’s just calm down for a bit and then you can tell me what’s going on.” She flattened the sides of her hair down, pulling her into a hug. Her hugs were the most comforting to her because it felt like home. And she was her home.
Yoohyeon came back with a cold, damp washcloth, handing it to Mira. She started harshly rubbing her face with it to rid herself of all her makeup. Her eyes would definitely be red from the crying and puffy from the rubbing. She knew it probably wasn’t good for her skin, but she could care less about what she looked like right now.
The rest of the girls scattered, leaving Mira with Handong for a while more before she eventually settled down.
“If you’re ready to talk, tell me what happened.” Handong took the washcloth from her, as well as her water bottle.
“He wanted to take a break because of how busy we are.” She tried breathing in through her nose, being so congested from crying.
Handong furrowed her eyebrows in confusion. “That’s all?”
“He said it was a busy time and that he could hardly take care of himself, let alone me.”
Handong looked away, letting out a quiet sigh of relief. Her threatening aura had faded away quickly. “You scared me. With the way you were crying I seriously thought he cheated on you or something.”
“He wouldn’t do that.” She spoke under her breath, shaking her head. “He doesn’t love himself completely yet.”
Her member sighed, wrapping her arm around her and pulling her close with her head pressed against hers. “You know, it’s natural for people to drift apart sometimes. We’re all busy idols and it could be exhausting for one to be in a relationship.”
Mira squeezed her eyes shut, choking down more sobs as her mind went into overdrive. “Was I really exhausting for him? I told him I wouldn’t mind the distance. Maybe if I had showed him more affection he would have wanted to stay together-“
“Hey, stop. That’s not what I’m saying.” She squeezed her knee, her voice stern. “If you guys had stayed together, there would be miscommunications and you’d be neglected more that way. Do you get what I’m trying to say?”
“But I love him. I really thought he loved me too…”
“From what you’ve told me, he does love you. If he didn’t, he would have let the two of you drift apart without saying anything. Then you wouldn’t have any closure and it would have tainted your views on relationships.”
Mira’s mind was still foggy and emotional, but perhaps Handong was starting to put it into perspective for her. She sounded more wise than
anything. So she started to consider what Wonwoo was going through instead of her own selfish feelings.
Handong brushed the sides of her hair flat, looking at her with sincerity. “It probably sounds cliche, but it’s difficult for someone to love another person when they don’t have that trust or love for themselves in the first place.”
She let the sentence linger in her mind, being quiet now.
“You need to love yourself before you can love another person.” She pursed her lips, grabbing her hand and squeezing it. “But if you’re still mad at him, just say the word and I will not hesitate to hurt him.”
Mira looked over at her, finally making eye contact before a grin crept its way onto her face. She felt a little better after talking to Handong, but her heart still ached.
Handong chuckled along with her, opening her arms. “Come here.”
Mira wrapped her arms around her best friend, more tears finding its way to the surface as they held each other tightly.
Handong rubbed circles on her back to comfort her. “I will always be on your side, Mira. Even if you’re in the wrong or you do unimaginable things, I will always be right there to protect and defend you.”
Mira sobbed quietly into her shoulder, fingers digging into her shirt. “I love you.”
“I love you too. And I’m so sorry that this had to happen.” Handong pulled back, wiping Mira’s tears once more. “If things don’t work out, don’t you worry your pretty little head. You have me. And we can bother each other till we’re old and wrinkly.”
She got a laugh out of the girl, hugging her once more. “You’re probably really tired.”
Mira nodded, rubbing her eyes from how irritated they were from crying. Handong sat up, pulling the sheets out from under the girl and getting her legs covered.
“Where’s your phone?” Handong searched for her phone, Mira pointing to the device sitting on the nightstand. She found the charger and plugged it in before continuing to tuck her in.
“Do you need anything?” Handong brushed her bangs out of her face, patting her blankets to fluff them up. She shook her head, slouching down in the bed until she was flat against the mattress.
Handong leaned down to give her a kiss on the head. “It’s all gonna be okay. Goodnight.” She pinched her cheek, heading for the door and looking back at her.
Mira could only get a whisper out, saying goodnight to her as well before she closed the door, leaving her in the bedroom with only her night light on.
She wondered where Handong got so wise. She always had the right things to say and never questioned it. And she was feeling a lot better than she was when she first got back to the dorms.
She turned over on her side, pulling the covers over her shoulder and breathing with her mouth open with her nose being all stuffy. She tried her hardest to think about what Handong said rather than Wonwoo. She doesn’t think she will ever be able to get over the way he looked at her tonight. It was definitely gonna find its way into her dreams and haunt her.
“I moved to Wuhan when I was fifteen, that is where I met Handong. She was my only friend and I’m very glad she’s stuck with me for this long. I push people away because I’m scared that other factors in my life will take them away from me. I save myself the pain of ever losing anyone.”
She stared off past the cameras, crossing her arms and holding the mic close. “Handong and I came here together, studied at the same university, and auditioned for the same companies. We did everything together and would not settle for anything less. If she didn’t get accepted by one company and I did, we moved on from said company. We found our home when our current company accepted both of us.”
“Everyone is so welcoming towards us, and I couldn’t ask for a better team. They accept me even with all of my flaws, and I’m just really happy I get to live with them and do what we love best together.”
