#miguanyin

[jihoonmi]

are you currently happy with where you are in life?

&h✧ ┊ honesty hour  ┅┅┅┅  catching up on ancient memes ( mentioned: @mibomin @mixspencer )

before bomin’s departure, this would’ve been an easy yes. he has the job he’s worked toward for his entire life, is surrounded by people he likes, has a loving family, doesn’t want for money. he laughs and he smiles and he has a (couple) place(s) to lay his head at night.

it’s just different now. with bomin’s departure, he can’t see the other friends in his life as clearly anymore. now all he can see is how much he took up, and the space he’s left behind. he’s had time to process him leaving, but that feeling is still here, even as he tries to fill the emptiness with everything he can, after that first week of moping. he’s still not really over the moping, he’s just over showing it now, locking it up and tossing away the key to continue on and be professional, as he always does. the fake smiles don’t come as easily though, nor does being friendly, so his customer satisfaction may not be as high as before, and he’s not happy with that.

he’s not happy with how lonely he feels, and not happy about how he treats spencer, and that he can’t just replace bomin with more of spencer like he hoped he could, even for as much as spencer helps, and has done everything in his power to. he’s not happy in an empty dorm, by himself, studying a subject at myeongcho university, which he only enrolled in because his former best friend, now on the lam, did.

he’s not, but he knows there’s so much that’s still right. even so, he doesn’t feel bad for feeling wrong. “i will be,” he answers with a shrug. “i think i need to drop out of school,” he adds absently.

[mijongsuk]

do you think you're capable of genuine care, niceness?

↪ Honesty Hour | Closed

Jongsuk’s brow quirks, expression one of playful affront.

“Well someone’s in a mood tonight, aren’t they?” he drawls, leaning across the bar to settle his forearms on the polished wood, admiring the woman perched on the stool across from him. He snags her empty bottle of beer and straightens to toss it in the nearby trash bin before fetching her a fresh one, opening it with a practiced flick against the can opener affixed to the edge of the bar.

It isn’t often that Jongsuk finds himself standing behind the bar at Luxe, but sometimes he likes to annoy Min by slipping behind the counter and getting in his way. He likes to shake things up from time to time, and working the bar can prove useful when Jongsuk needs an excuse to strike up conversation with a familiar face without drawing unwanted attention– just like he’s doing now.

“And what about you, Guanyin? Are you capable of genuine loyalty? Picking a side?” He slides her the fresh beer with a sharp smile before settling back against the bartop, arms folded and bracing his weight as he leans closer. “What do you say? Work exclusively for Hydrus and we’ll make it worth your while.”

He flashes her a wink. “And maybe then you’ll figure out that answer for yourself.”

[crownxmi]

how would you cope with betrayal?

❝ honesty hour edition, accepting 

jaehyun can’t help but have a bitter taste in his mouth. simple put, it was bad in general. there was only so much trust he could give out before everything backfired and he was willing to go to extremes in order to get the people that messed with his trust. it made him sigh as he rubbed his face with one hand, thinking of a good way to explain it. "i guess, generally speaking its not really that bad." he starts, already aware it was somewhat of a lie. not entirely, just a huge part of it. "in my day to day life, my normal life, its fine, it happens, it disappoints you, you move on with a small grudge and in a week or two, you forget that person was ever in your life."

crown pauses, sighing softly "however, in hydrus.. for me with hydrus is a lot different." he says with a laugh, a hallow one "blood will be spilled, it will be painful, slow and cruel." he explains, cracking the fingers in his right hand, by pressing against the knuckles. soon, a grin pulls on his lips as he finally finds the words he was looking for "no one fucks with the snakes and gets away easily, especially not with me."

[mimedusa-blog]

is there a gang you wouldn't do any freelance work for?

honesty hour

for people like her, there is an extreme disconnect between how she perceives the world and how others do. she knows they do, and it takes effort she does not want to make to understand it from their point of view – and even then, she can’t. it’s too difficult now. before, she had points of reference; people to tell her what to do, what to feel, what was right to say and what wasn’t. now, it may seem like betrayal, and logically, she knows it is, but working for another gang – so long as it doesn’t conflict with hydrus’ interests – doesn’t seem like a bad idea. “no,” she answers, finally. there are some that she’d certainly be reluctant to work with. some with loyalties she’s not sure about. columba, for example, is a gang to watch out for; so is lynx, because she’s hesitant about whether they’ll be fooled by her antics or not. they’re too smart, and that’s always a bad thing. 

look at what happened to nayoung.

“if the price is right and if it doesn’t harm hydrus, i’d be down to do it. no one got anywhere without working together every now and again, right?” see? – isn’t that a great attempt at sounding (sym)pathetic and human? no? “but,” she adds quickly, “only if hydrus allows me. as much as i hate people telling me what to do, i’m pre~tty sure it’d cause a bunch of trouble to piss off the best gang on this stupid island. who’d be stupid enough to do that?”

[mixgrim]

do you ever crave normality?

「Honesty Hour 」 | Status: Not Accepting!

while pouring the other another drink, grim halted for a split of second, staring at the alcohol dripping from the glass bottle into the glass. he hadn't expected to be confronted with such a stupid question that late at night, when all that he wanted to do was indulge himself in the taste of his favorite rum. the hitman threw the other man a judging glare, when he picked up both glasses and handed it over. "yah, this ain't a coffee morning, alright? if you are going to get on my nerves with that pseudo philosophical shit, behind you is the door." the male walked over to his own seat, and let himself fall back, clicking his tongue. the day had been long and tiring and now that guy didn't even granted him some relaxation.

what did normality even meant? in the world he, they were currently in, a normal life wasn't possible at all. a daily routine he declared to be normal was moving over to hydrus, getting his orders, carry out some kills and return home to wash of the blood of people that weren't even necessarily guilty, just guilty of standing in the way of his gang.

grim had gotten used to this routine, had become a maschine to just do and no longer think. and yet he sometimes wondered if there was a possibility to throw everything, throw grim away, and return being woo dohwan, the kind of man he was supposed to be. normality meant to live like a decent human being, and not like a monster, right?

[mijihun]

if you could leave the gang life without any consequences, would you take it?

Honesty Hour - Accepting

“in a heartbeat,” it was something he didn’t even have to think about for a second, “if that opportunity ever came around then i would be the first in line to take them up on it. i hate being in a gan and i hate all the secrets and the risk of life and death and the killing and the illegal activity. every day i am terrified that i am going to wake up to the mpd banging on my door with an arrest warrant.” and while it had yet to happen, he couldn’t really say if it was going to continue to be that way for the rest of his life or if one of these days his luck was going to simply run out and he was going to be completely screwed and up in in a cell for the rest of his life for what he had done.

no, leaving and running away from hydrus without any consequences was the dream, though he knew it was just that - a dream. “it’s not going to happen though, is it,” he admitted with an unhappy sounding sigh, “now i am stuck here they aren’t just going to let me go no matter how much i mess up. while i am sure they would happier without me around, they’re not going to let me leave. the only future i see for myself is ending up murdered, either by my own gang or a rival out on a job, or behind bars.” and that was most certainly not the life he wanted for himself, but it was not really like he got many choices in the matter.

[mixscorpio]

do you really think you're a good person?

what made a person good? that’s a more interesting question in his opinion. the notion of good had warped because of humans, as long as it can be justified couldn’t it be good? kill a dictator and you’re good, but kill a dictator and you’re bad. heck, you don’t even need to kill them because no matter the action there will be a consequence.not even the kindest of souls were exempt from that, he knew that. it’s with an objective view that he understood that the concept of good was too wide, too varying.but that’s when he decided to look at the point of view of the majority. to such a question, the way to give the most ‘correct’ answer was to give an answer befitting to the majority’s opinion. and whilst donghae knew he had moments wherein he was completely capable of doing good ( helping his family to the best he could, only targeting bad people, etc. ) he knew that he was also just capable of doing so many bad things ( killing, breaking whatever he could get his hands on when the urges were strong, etc. ). yet to people, it’s easy to view on only one thing. one view. in that narrow view, if they saw those two sides of him—the one that which tends to be imprinted, the image that will take over the other was…“no. i’m not.” he responded plainly. looking at her, he did not express anything else. not a way to defend himself, not even a single quip of his inner monologue. he had many thoughts in his mind, but donghae’s not one to blurt it all out. it’s all condense to a short answer, firm and only giving details if it was necessary.but it’s not, so that was all he had to say.

[mieunmi-blog1]

do you think you're ready for the married life?

          “ since i don’t want this marriage, of course not. ” and, truth be told, until her fiance says otherwise, she has no true choice in the matter   —   unless she can manage to escape her father’s clutches and, short of faking her own death as bella suggested she do, it’s damn near impossible to do so. “ i don’t even want to be married right now. i’m only twenty-three and there’s much more i’d rather do than be married. what is married life? from everyone i’ve seen enter one, it’s boring, an outdated tradition, a burden to most and yet it’s necessary in business to seem more accomplished. a trophy wife on one hand and a phone in the other. that’s how she foresees her future going with her fiance if they do marry. 

          “ even if someone else were to ask, i’d say no ” which, for the record, she did. she said no to dohwan when he asked in an effort to free her from the arranged marriage she’s set up for now and the thought of being married in and of itself doesn’t appeal to her. “ marriage is a poor social construct. i’m more surprised that anyone would expect me to abide to such a thing. ”