Discover Top Posts Tagged with #mik3y

1:27 am. 8/20/21

hey dude. what’s up?

i’m really missing you every day all day these days. day day day day day day day. i hate that you are gone. i hate it. i miss you so much. i don’t want to forget you. i’m scared if i try to progress in my life you will be just a memory. i can’t imagine my life without you even though i have to live it. it’s so unfair that you’re gone. you had so much ready for you. you were about to enter the most important part of your entire career just for it to be knabbed a weekend before it began. i’m still too nervous to find out the cause of your death. i think when i find out i feel like it’ll make it.. real. there will be a medical diagnosis in my brain as my greatest enemy for taking you away.

as i strain my head trying to deal with your passing, i find myself unable to process the fact that i am thinking about someone who is no longer in a body. i see your face every place i turn and quite frankly, its a little hard to process your death when you give me signs of yourself every damn place i have turned this whole summer. every time i stepped outside this whole summer of the deepest depression i’ve ever had, i saw a moth or a white butterfly. i saw you fly over mikey and i. i saw you every time i laid on the hammock. every time i gazed at the ocean, every time i made a new memory, you were there. you landed on my leg once. i was with mikey and budo in rockport. budo was barking at the water over and over, for no apparent reason. i knew it was you. a single moth flew around the three of us and landed on the top of my thigh high sock, exactly where you’d put your hand on every car ride we took. i knew it was you. i really hope that that was you telling me that i am okay for moving on. i really want to not feel guilty but i can’t help but feel like this isn’t what i should be doing. i really hope that you’ve been sending me the signs when i’m with them that i am okay and i am safe with them.

and as odd as it is to just talk about how my life after your death is, i need to actually tell you about mikey.

they have been absolutely the most incredible support. you would be so happy to know that i have really stepped out of my comfort zone because they push me when i need to be pushed. they are gentle and kind with me when i need them to be. they come from a family full of so much love. their family has all been so extremely supportive and i’m building a really great relationship with their sister. i talk about you most of the time. mikey is extremely patient and pretty much always willing to listen, and if they aren’t then they will still tell me that i am loved and i am okay. they keep me very grounded when we are together when i get too lost in my dreamland. they’re very creative, their notebooks are full of the coolest drawings. they have a thing for lists and they have a very particular way they consume media. i think you would’ve loved their thoughtfulness.

i wish so badly that there was a way to see if you’re doing okay wherever you are in this universe. i miss you so much.

i haven’t been sleeping well lately.

it’s almost 2 am.

goodnight.

love you forever

- eya

#grief #late night letters #zachary #mik3y

𝘮𝘪𝘤𝘩𝘢𝘦𝘭 𝘸𝘢𝘵𝘦𝘳𝘴 𝘮𝘺 𝘰𝘸𝘯 𝘱𝘳𝘪𝘷𝘢𝘵𝘦 𝘪𝘥𝘢𝘩𝘰 𝘥𝘪𝘳𝘦𝘤𝘵𝘦𝘥 𝘣𝘺 𝘨𝘶𝘴 𝘷𝘢𝘯 𝘴𝘢𝘯𝘵

#river phoenix #my own private idaho #mike waters #mik3y #scikey #gus van sant

lol scott favor is so special. i never met a straight guy who was capable of fucking men everyday for 4 years just because they don’t like their father. the thought wouldn’t even cross their minds.. wow<3

#✨✨✨✨✨𝑜𝓊𝓉𝓈𝓉𝒶𝓃𝒹𝒾𝓃𝑔✨✨✨✨✨#my own private idaho #scott favor #mik3y #keanu reeves