In honor of me seeing Hadestown, I present to you:
Assorted NHL Players as Guys You Meet in the Theatre Department
Note: based on vibes & online personas, not the actual people themselves IRL
Gabriel Landeskog as: The stage manager trying to make sure his circus & his monkeys are controlled chaos only, thank you very much
Mikhail Sergachev, William Nylander, David Pastrnak, and Martin Necas as: The wardrobe department that nails the assignment despite having the budget of $5.75, two cigarette butts, and a dream
Leon Draisaitl and Sebastian Aho as: The bitchy set builders that talk shit about everyone but also will cut a bitch on your behalf if you ask
Brent Burns as: The Props Master who pulls anything and everything out of his bag that’s almost as big as he is
Seth Jarvis and William Eklund as: Burnsie’s “assistants” who mostly just ragebait the cast by hiding their props in the most insane places you can think of (and even some places you can’t)
Devon Toews as: The head of the lighting design team who is Over Everyone’s Shit but acts as the shoulder to cry/vent on as needed
Arber Xhekaj as: The sound designer who gets way too much of a kick out of doing the mic checks (and who steals the wardrobe team’s snacks)
Brad Marchand and Patrice Bergeron as: The dance captains who take their job seriously but also have been banned from changing the choreo again, oh my God—
Nathan MacKinnon as: The guy who keeps running lines even in the bathroom post-rehearsal and who brings his own snacks (he’d share but they smell weird and nobody else wants them)
Connor McDavid as: The guy who wants the lead role but keeps getting the second-most important role in the show
Macklin Celebrini as: The first-year student who’s already the understudy to the leading man and you want to be annoyed at him, but he’s endearing & talented enough to get away with it
Cale Makar as: The guy who’s probably had the stomach flu three times and multiple physical injuries since the cast list dropped, but powers through out of sheer “go fuck yourself” energy
Happy to do more of these, just working with who popped in my head 🤣🤣
