#millenialangst

[bonnettsbooks]

2013 #DisneyFrozen #BigGoldenBook & 1969 #UnderstandingYouth seem an odd pair, don't they? I bet they'd have a lot common than after getting past their #okboomer & #millenialangst fronts. 8/10/21 Open 5:30-9 Mask req'r'd. Plz, no open containers. #GoldenBooks (at Bonnett's Book Store) https://www.instagram.com/p/CSZ_yeEH5a0/?utm_medium=tumblr

[friendofjupiter]

Nose to the Air

I remember the "good old days" when I could pacify myself with things.  If I was feeling down, I'd go to a hip and trendy eatery, or I'd spend too much money buying clothes to feel as cool as some fashion blogger I was obsessed with at the moment.  These distractions helped me temporarily mask the deep sadness and loneliness I feel.   Now that I no longer have financial freedom, it's forced me to really pull from within to find happiness and boy, am I struggling.  I live somewhere that would be the average person's dream location, yet I spend almost every day in this apartment, alone.  Each night I promise myself that tomorrow I'm going to drive to the beach, or go hiking, or go to the art museum, but I never make it.  It's like I want to experience something specifically, but I don't know what it is.  All I know is the feeling.  Each day I see things, and they call out to my heart.  I get so frustrated because I don't know how to translate these vibes into something tangible.  Life for me is an aroma only.  I can almost taste it on the breezes that drift through my windows, but I can never have a piece.  

[friendofjupiter]

Dream Job Deferred

Some people are so lucky in that they grow up knowing exactly what they want to be.  Then there are those like me who at thirty-two are still trying to figure it out.  I had a phone interview the other day and the employer said I sounded like I didn't know what I want.  Accurate.  I seem to only know what I don't want.  When people ask me where I see myself in 5 - 10 years, I always tell them that I just want to be happy.  

It seems like society doesn't have time for people who don't know what they want.  There has to be a goal and a plan.  During interviews, I used to be able to pretend that I was passionate about whatever the business did, but I can't hide it anymore.  And there's this pressure to hurry up and figure it out; I have to pay rent and feed myself after all!  I keep wondering if there's a place for me, or if I'm doomed to wander aimlessly for the rest of my life, going wherever people will have me, and never feel satisfied.  

I believed in the idea of a dream job up until recently; the concept has changed for me.  It's no longer about benefits and money and doing cool stuff and getting to wear jeans every day.  For me, a dream job is simply one that will not suck the life out of me, and will allow me to make time for the things I enjoy doing.