For quite some time I’ve been ranting about my current job. How I feel like my brain is rotting and I’m making too little and the management is terrible and the benefits are sucky and that I should soon quit.
And like I said, I have been at it for months. And the reason why I haven’t is I might be just going through a “millennial” phase. I’m not sure if it’s the right thing to do and I couldn’t really see clearly. I was afraid I was being this self-entitled, egotistical, whiny, millennial brat who’s thrown into the real world and started throwing tantrums about the unsatisfied need for instant gratification.
I have been going at it for months, telling myself I don’t deserve this kind of menial job, that my smart brain is being wasted, my time is being consumed, that I could make so much more if I were in another business.
Although all of this is true, the thing is, while I was going on about it, I got lax. demotivated. disinterested. Before I realize it, I was underperforming.
It was disgusting. I see myself so highly but I can’t even perform anything well even these “menial” tasks. And although I have every reason for my poor performance, it’s still inexcusable. It doesn’t validate my underperformance.
I need to be good. even in stupid shit like what I’m doing now. I should be good. I should remind myself often that I should kick ass in whatever I’m doing. Whether it’s something I love doing or not, if I’m doing it, I might as well KICK ASS. Get a grip, sweetie.