Simon was sure that he heard something outside of the safe house, and it wasn't an enemy.
"What are you hearing, lad?" John presses, his voice distant on the radio. Simon dares to open the door, peering outside into the dark woods.
"Talking. It sounds like more than one person, but all in one direction." Simon explains quietly into the radio.
"If you order now, you can get two for the price of one!"
"That sounds like an infomercial." Johnny murmers behind him. "That one guy. Billy Mayes?"
"He's dead, isn't he?" Simon asks, taking a deep breath before aiming his gun and light towards the trees. "Must be a damn good impersonator." He quips, but the sarcasm dies in his chest when they see you.
Your gangly form was unnatural. Limbs too long, torso too wide, jaw far too unhinged with too much skull exposed. Your face twists into what seems like a smile when you see them, ambling closer as you carefully extend a long arm.
"This is the last mop you'll ever need. Don't wait, call now!"
The voice you were using was feminine now, and Johnny stares over Simon's shoulder at your slowly approaching form. "What the fuck is that thing?" He whispers as you get to the porch steps. Neither of the men could move, Simon's finger hovering just over the trigger.
He hadn't hesitated taking a shot once, but he couldn't with you. You weren't trying to hurt them, were you? You reach slowly past the gun, your large hand almost incasing Simon's head. You let out a strange cooing noise as you stroke his head.
Price's voice crackles on the other side of the radio, but neither man reaches for it to answer him.
"They make the perfect gift for holidays, birthdays, and anniversaries!"
"What the fuck do you do, L.T?" Johnny whispers queitly, looking over at Simon with a raised eyebrow.
"We're gonna take it to base and teach it to lure people using our voices."
"You're fuckin evil, Sir."
"You're fucking evil, Sir."
Johnny stares back at you with wide eyes, barely having a second to register hearing his own words from your lips before you start petting his head as well. This could definitely be useful.