#mind control angst

[flankerclinger0a]

Having a character go through something alone and when they come back they are absolutely NOT the same person who went in

Absolutely feral guy turned sweet and polite, calm and collected turned snappy and quick to outburst

Someone who seems normal but then fucking murders someone and eats their guts with glazed eyes. The good shit

[normal-thoughts-official]

I just want somehow, no matter how convoluted the scenario, for the memory demon to show up again or something similar to happen and when we get to see Alec's Most Loved Person there's Magnus's smile and golden eyes and not only is it a big fuck you to the Jace stans but also just like... Magnus being lowkey shocked but all warm and fuzzy and it's soft.

you are so enlightened and correct about everything tbh i love u and everything u stand for. i think i've even read a fic about this before but i can't remember the details so aaaaaaaaaaa

i lowkey like this in the aftermath of a vaguely angsty scenario like maybe they had a fight or to hop off my mind control idea (link) from eons ago, they're still in that weird stage where they haven't really quite managed to talk about what happened and it's weird between them, you know? and then magnus sees alec's memory and it's one of him and he was lowkey expecting to be izzy if anything because surely alec must resent him right now and his eyes widen almost imperceptibly and alec is just very nonchalant about it like it's obvious (and it is)

and magnus is just thankful that he went in first because if he had gone after alec the demon would surely take away his memory of seeing alec having a memory of him as his most precious one :) because right now it's all he cherishes the most and aaa i need a moEMNT

and they both almost break the circle with the relief to see that they're okay after the whole mind control angst thing and that they are still treasured by each other even if things are weird. but they manage to hold on and finish whatever business they have and then magnus just turns to alec with those shiny eyes of his and he's just... "i love you, alexander" and alec brings him into a hug and they just mumble reassurances to each other and say that they're ok, no matter what happened, they'll always love each other and they weren't pulling away because they were mad, it was because they thought the other would be mad at what happened

all in all it's just a sweet moment between them :) and it does them both good the end <3

[flankerclinger0a]

Possession and control over another person is dictated by the victim’s willpower

The stronger their will, the harder it is to maintain control.

Some entities have abilities to break down people’s willpower, but that is a different story.

I have made a chart that can help be a visual guide

Artists! Draw your ocs or favorite characters in the various slots!

[normal-thoughts-official]

Okay but like, I just imagine Alec spending the entire time going out of his mind wanting to crawl out of his skin and he all but forces himself to go back to Magnus to check on him, fully expecting to be turned away at the door. And when Magnus opens, he’s not wearing makeup, washed out sweats and maybe one of Alec’s really old tshirts. His hair is combed down and he looks really unsure and can’t really meet Alec’s eyes. And that’s when it clicks for Alec that Magnus probably spiralled because if he hasn’t put in the effort to look fine, then it’s really really bad. So he almost collapses on the spot when it hits him “I did that to him, I caused him enough pain that he can’t even be bothered oh no oh fuck” so he kinda leans against the door frame to hold himself up and Magnus can see how badly it’s affecting Alec to see him this broken down and “oh no I’m making it worse and we haven’t even said anything no no no” so he tries to smile but it doesn’t reach his eyes and he feels so fake about it but Alec please come inside please don’t leave again so he gestures for Alec to come inside but they both kinda get stuck between the couches and hall just like on their first date but this time it’s so different and they just kinda stand there, looking everywhere but each other not knowing what to do and aaaaaa pain

ok YES tho!!!!!!!!! i was thinking that magnus put on an effort so he could Be Ready And Functional when alec got home but the idea that magnus was just bare faced and in sweatpants miserable is just... aaaa

especially because like usually alec would love it and be so happy to see magnus allowing himself to look imperfect, vulnerable, comfortable around him. but now it just looks like magnus is breaking down and the fact that he can see the guilt in magnus' eyes when he sees alec's face and then the fake smile just makes it even worse. like the worst of both worlds, the misery and the uptightness (thats not a good word but its the only one i can think of)

also god magnus begging alec not to leave again and just WAR FLASHBACKS to the breakup and magnus again feeling so insufficient and like a failure and alec feeling like he keeps hurting and losing the man he loves. but this time he stays but it's awkward and strained and magnus thinks i'm forcing him and alec thinks im making it worse, i can't fix this and it feels just as bad as it did when alec actually left last time. except maybe a little duller because they're both trying so hard to keep it together to support each other

and of course neither wants to be supported and both are stumbling so there's no way either of them can get anywhere. so they just stand there feeling like failures and crumbling deeper into themselves and aaaa

also it just makes magnus feel like The Culprit™ won and he's too weak to deal with this even though it was something so small and simple (alec punched him? he's been through so much worse so many times, this shouldn't even register. it wasn't even actually him, just some other guy controlling his body; magnus should be laughing at how stupid it was) so when did magnus become so fragile? he even looks a mess and he has no idea how to pretend anymore

and again they just crumble into this war of "im sorry"s to each other that are just increasingly frantic until somehow magnus ends up latching himself into alec's arms and they just hug each other fiercely and it's all "i never meant to hurt you" "i should have noticed what was happened" "i shouldnt have left you" "i shouldnt have let you leave" and kissing each other's shoulders a little bit, as much as they can when they're holding each other so tight xbxjxn and apologies that turn into venting and reassurance and it's exactly what they need

and they emerge from the hug better but exhausted so they take a nap together and cuddle and the next day have a better talk about it and what they can do to prevent this sort of spiralling if it ever happens again and it's good for them both 🥺

[normal-thoughts-official]

Obsessed with them hugging once the mind control is over. Like they've figured it out and have cleared up at at least the biggest misunderstandings and just. Alec hugging Magnus tightly and Magnus just letting himself relax and pressing hisf ace into Alec's shoulder and it just being a safety/trust/comfort thing

yes!!!! absolutely correct!!! you get it!!

i just love the idea of them hugging each other like as close and desperately as they did in edom you know dauihdsa again just that need to make sure that they're both there and they're both real (obviously they are real, but you know, still themselves) and just needing to reassure each other diuahsa keeping each other close, peppering kisses on each other's shoulders (since they are not gonna pull back enough to kiss the face or lips because they need the contact), whispering reassurances and "i'm sorry"s and "none of that"s and "i love you, i love you, i love you"s

and then when they finally pull back alec slowly stroking magnus' cheek and magnus melting against it... trusting and open and he lets out a little sigh after a while like he hadn't even realized he had been holding his breath, and alec is like "yeah, baby, that's it" and magnus eventually puts his hand over alec's and snuggles closer, just showing alec that he still trusts him and loves him, that he's happy, that it's okay

and when magnus finally opens his eyes (which he hadn't realized he had closed) they are unglamoured and just so open and vulnerable and full of love and he pulls alec's hand away very lowly, kisses his palm, then his knuckles, then his lips... and they just keep trading little pecks on the lips until they're laughing and the tension is gone and their hands are intertwined on their side. and then they hug again for good measure, or lay together in the couch with magnus on top of alec and alec playing with his hair and everything is fine for those moments :) 

later they're gonna have a talk and figure out how to prevent this from happening again (neither of them would be able to fully relax otherwise) but for now they just need to know that they're ok, and they are <3