Some cookable little freaks
So here we got some weird little guys. Do you like them? Me too! But be careful not to like them too much, because the game does not respect them. They are mere objects, not characters. So sad. We are like gods to them. In fact, we can mold them to our liking! We can create them, and we can mold them to our liking. Would you like to know how? Please, follow me.
Name: Mini Mr. Mini
Debut: Paper Mario: The Thousand Year Door
This is Mini Mr. Mini. He is all about being small. If you’re not convinced that he is small, he had his last name changed to Mini, and acquired the legal title of “Mini”, so you’ll never forget! For only 8 coins, you can purchase a Mini Mr. Mini of your very own. But maybe you don’t have that kind of money, or you don’t live near a store that sells small men. That’s ok! Using common household ingredients, you can create your very own!
First, you will need a Power Punch, which is pretty clearly, despite its English name, a regular yogurt drink that exists in real life. If you have one, you’re already halfway there!
The only other ingredient is a Point Swap, and everyone’s got tons of these lying around in the spice cabinet. “Chicken of the cabinet”, my grandma always calls it. Just cook these two ingredients together, and you have made yourself a hot, fresh little guy!
You can use the crispy little guy to make things Small. I’ve never used him, so I don’t know exactly HOW he is used, but he will make enemies Small and decrease their power. Maybe he’s eaten, maybe his fluids are squeezed out and his skin tossed aside to the rats, I don’t know. I don’t use the stuff! If your Mini Mr. Mini sucks, though, like you just absolutely hate the little fellow, you can always fry him up with another Point Swap to turn him back into a Power Punch. That’ll show him!
Name: Mr. Softener
Debut: Paper Mario: The Thousand Year Door
Mini Mr. Mini might not be for everyone. Maybe he’s too small for your taste? Well, if so, I’m sorry. Our other little creature of a man, Mr. Softener, is only a mere two pixels taller. I hope that can make all the difference for you!
Mr. Softener also costs 8 coins, but to make your own, you can boil a Point Swap along with a Courage Shell! You can get one of these shells by asking your local cartoon turtle, who will remove their own shell painlessly, revealing heart-patterned boxers underneath. As we all know from chemistry class, the reaction of a Turtle Shell and a Some Arrows makes some kind of wiggly wormy ghosty guy!
Mr. Softener, like Mini Mr. Mini, is Used, and I don’t know how he is used, either, but he will make enemies Soft, decreasing their defense. You can also probably run him on your callouses to soften them! Don’t tell Mini Mr. Mini, but Mr. Softener is probably an overall more convenient guy to keep in your medicine cabinet.
You can also cook Mr. Softener himself, if you feel like you are already soft enough, but only together with any Mushroom. The result will be one Dried Mushroom, and no Mr. Softener! The sly devil slurped all the moisture from the mushroom and escaped! He’s going to become an invasive species!
Oh nooooo!
