no one needs to know how tall you are + get out of fat acceptance tags if you’re not going to accept fat people
lol
My height is only relevant because healthy weight changes on how tall you are so me saying I’m class one obese at 5’5 and 200 lbs is different than someone that’s 4’9 or 6’3. I mention my weight often since weight loss is a life change I am making.
Very funny that you sent anon “hate” after I posted trying to reach out to other fat people to help them save their own lives from a disempowering movement that wants them to die rather than make any changes in their lives for the better.
Not to be all high and mighty but I think I like fat people more than you because I want them to live.
I want to say this loud and clear:
I love my fat family and I want us all to live and I want us to be happy.
It just so happens that to accomplish that we need to reduce the amount of adipose tissue and visceral fat in our bodies.
I know “fat” has become an identity to a lot of people, and it’s a shame, because when I suggested saving your life you thought it meant not accepting you. It’s not the same thing.
When I was very young my mom was a smoker. I told her to stop, not because I didn’t love her. Smoking was hurting her, I didn’t want her to hurt because I loved her.
I made that post because I’ve had depression since pre-pubescence and I never thought my life was worth saving. I never thought I could make things better through my own actions. But I am learning that I can, and I don’t want anyone to feel like that. Fat acceptance is the epitome of self-defeat. It’s learned helplessness sold with a social justice veneer.
Other social justice movements don’t feel like this. They don’t feel like the leaders are willing to let you die. They don’t lie about founders being minorities (when they were actually white hetero chubby chasers) and they can actually name the founders! They don’t spread scientific misinformation. They don’t ignore deaths in their communities. They don’t say that people living longer lives is a genocide (I am referring to the Ozempic discussions that have been happening for a year now).
Don’t you feel used? Don’t you feel like this movement is digging your grave? Not to mention the ultra-processed food companies happy to cash out on you while they do it.
Reading through more of your blog, it’s like. I feel that you have not divorced yourself from the idea that weight=health.
I love that you are pivoting toward mindful movement + foods that nourish you. These are great steps to feel healthier. And maybe you get weight loss as the side effect, and maybe that’s a positive for you. great! But the weight loss is not the feeling healthier. The weight loss and the feeling healthier are just two effects of the choices you’re making. Most crucially, another person making those same choices might not see the same effect re: weight loss.
Me, I only lose weight when I’m dead stressed. Weight loss has always corresponded for me with my health worsening, feeling tired and ill all the time. Eating healthier — adding in more fresh produce, cutting back on soda etc — has never, in my whole 26 years alive, made me any lighter. Has it helped: yes of course! My joints hurt less when i dont have so much caffeine, and i dont bruise so easily when I get some fruit juice in me once in a while. Going on a walk in the mornings helps me feel energized for the day. These are all great things that I’m glad I chose to do. But none of them have made me lose weight.
Idk. In all of what I’ve seen it just feels like maybe you’re taking what’s worked or feels right for you and making that mean it’ll be right for everyone. For me, weight loss only happens if I starve myself or if I’m so stressed my hair is falling out. It’s not a good choice for me. But health IS a choice I can always make, even if my weight going down isnt included in that. That’s what health at every size is supposed to mean — that no matter our size and no matter where or whether we are on a weight loss journey, we can still choose health and most importantly receive the same quality of healthcare that straight sized people receive.
Hi! First off I want to say I really appreciate you sending a message in good faith and willing to actually talk. It's been a rough 24 hours trying to have an actual conversation and idk I just wanted to thank you for that.
Second, I feel like I fucked up by not providing enough information about myself that might help? We'll see.
A simplified timeline of my life:
I've known I've had depression since age 12, overate as a coping skill quite a bit especially in college, first job I was shoveling food and pop (I'm midwestern!!) like they were antidepressants (very high stress job). I was constantly in pain.
COVID happened and it was a relief, I started eating healthier because I gave myself time to actually prepare meals and started exercising. Felt incredible for the first and only time.
Thyroid smashed it all to pieces, was in hypothyroid bedbound depression for months and regained 60 pounds in a few months.
Thyroid got sorted but everything still sucked. I was horribly depressed, had insomnia, sleep apnea, chronic pain, just everything was telling me I needed to get fixed.
Tried medications, CPAP, physical therapy, massage, chiropractor, therapy, psychiatry.. (I am grateful my boring office job has health benefits).
None of those medical professionals ever mentioned weight even once. None of them mentioned that fat is actively hormonal and can affect every one of my issues.
I got into HAES. I believed in the original sentiment. You can do healthy things at every size! I read most of Intuitive Eating but it was so unrelatable (I now know this is because I have "food noise", which honestly just feels like another ocd intrusive thought, but we'll see where the science goes with that).
I listened to Maintenance Phase. I believed Aubrey Gordan was telling the truth. I was outraged.
I felt helpless. Was I just supposed to depend on medicine that didn't even work for the rest of my life?
I saw an integrative health doctor, and he recommended some health practices (eating mostly whole foods, exercising, socializing, all that stuff in my pinned post) and didn't mention weight until I did. He is really kind. He really believed in me, and that these healthy things could help reduce the inflammation giving me so much pain.
I did research on sleep apnea and found that I could basically cure my mild sleep apnea with weight loss.
I started reading books about nutrition (and watching a lot of youtube tbh) that dismantled the myths of HAES. Not on purpose, just because they were going through nutritional studies.
One of them is How Not To Diet by Dr. Michael Greger. It's honestly a great read, though very very long and I am a few months in and still am not done. He politely untangles the narrative that obesity itself is harmless. He lists literally thousands of studies and why we know this. It took every HAES belief I had and disassembled it around me.
I could post some of the most impactful things here if you'd like?
Anyway, I am not new to HAES. I lived there for years. I'm not sure there is a HAES point that I haven't heard of.
I do want to say that I understand weight changes due to stress. Mine is the opposite, when I am stressed my cravings are out of control, my hunger is never satisfied, and I eat like food is my teddy bear. Both directions are unhealthy, stress is a bitch.
But I am not talking about unhealthy weight loss or fad diets or getting an eating disorder. I'm just talking about reducing food that is engineered to be addictive, and eating more from nature. Slow and steady weight loss to be healthy and nourished. Focusing on getting nutrients and moving your body in a way that is sustainable (even fun!)
I know we are not all the same. And it is more difficult for some on either end of the calories in/calories out equation. Calories in issues can be food noise, food addiction, constant food advertisements... all things that drive up hunger cues. Calories out issues can be things like thyroid issues, or not being able to burn many calories because of disability, or really a fuck ton of medical things.
But there is a lot more we can control than we'd like to admit. It's hard as fuck, but it doesn't feel like you are powerless any more.
I don't believe it's impossible for most people to be a healthy weight. A lot of people use conditions they don't have as reasons why no one should even try.
And I am not saying that fat people are 100% at fault either. I think food conglomerates are more at fault than anyone. And I think the Fat Acceptance movement (movement! not individuals!) is aiding and abetting. (Not intentionally either, I just think they swung so far hating diet culture that they now encourage people to ignore medical science that can help).
It's really slow going, losing weight. I'm not great at it. Insomnia and depression make it sooo much harder. It's not all just magically working out for me. That's why that post is about getting healthier together. Because I hope that more people will join me in the struggle.
Asking people to struggle and fight when the other option is easy, ignorant bliss? Well. It brings out a lot of anger in people, I've noticed. My bad!
(Blissful ignorance as in “i am not thinking about how this could hurt me” NOT that fat people haven’t heard all of what I am saying before. Fat people aren’t stupid!!)
I hope you have a really lovely evening/morning/day. I hope I explained myself well? I think I might have rambled a bit too long though. Sorry bout that.
"stop hurting yourself, babe" is kinda rich coming from a fat person shaming other fat people.
if your magic diet worked so well, why aren't you skinny yet??
sorry i love myself and you don't. get well soon.
Shaming? Where? I am trying to empower fat people, not shame them.
I am shaming the fat acceptance movement and food conglomerates, but those are systems not people.
By magic diet you mean whole foods? The things we’ve been eating since we existed? Actually, you know what, I will give you that. It is pretty magical. Thank you mother earth!!
As I mentioned to the people in the replies, it’s difficult to lose weight with the chronic conditions I have. Depression and insomnia especially make it difficult to want to move or make good choices.
If you loved yourself, why are you here? People who love themselves don’t send anon hate lol.
Thanks for wishing me well though! My insomnia has been very bad lately so I need a little extra boost.
I hope you get well soon too. You are worth making healthy changes for.
Was about to get in an argument on this post about how weight loss for obesity is just as much as a medical treatment as taking medication for diabetes. They are both deadly health conditions.
But I was reading through the reblogs and it was a nightmare. Someone denied a glp-1 for their sleep apnea because it’s seen as fatphonic to take it, when Zepbound is approved for sleep apnea because it helps with weight loss… and weight loss for sleep apnea can literally save you from NOT BREATHING IN YOUR SLEEP!?!? AND DYING???
I only have mild sleep apnea so I don’t qualify but I am trying to lose weight the old fashioned way.
With sleep apnea I wake up in literal terror. and as I come to I go through the even more terrifying realization that its because my oxygen had dropped to 79%!!! What if I suffocated so long I died???
I don’t want to be terrified of sleep. I don’t want to be exhausted all the time.
And you know what? I don’t want all this weight on my joints either. I don’t want to hurt all the time.
Over 2 in 5 adults in the U.S. are obese, and heart disease is the number one killer. So stop fucking fearmongering about weight loss!
And, by the way, everyone should have access to appropriate medication for their body, both diabetics and obese people deserve access to glp-1s. Because they are both deadly.
Weighed in at 193 this morning 🥳 that means I am ~23 lbs down from the start (give or take a few since our scale is wonky)
My goal is to be a down to at least 190 before my sleep apnea appointment, because weight loss is the best thing to possibly “cure” it (aka my airway won’t be as blocked/restricted).
I have a new—actually accurate!—scale so unfortunately I am “up” in weight this week, but its actually just finally a digital scale that doesn’t fuck up because the floor is crooked, lol.
199.2 lbs today. That’s 16.8 lbs down, 67.2 lbs left to go to get to a healthy weight for my height!
