Something smells fishy here....
Well guys, it finally happened.
After 3 years of online dating, I was finally *gulps* CATFISHED!!!! Grab a seat and lemme tell you what happened…
So Friday evening a guy sends me a message. Very sweet and kind of original, so I responded. No, I did not find him super attractive, but I was at home bored… so why not? We messaged back and forth over the weekend. He made me laugh and seemed to get my sense of humor. The conversation was flowing smoothly, so on Sunday afternoon when he wrote:
“Hey, I like you. Would you like to meet up for a movie tonight?”
I thought to myself again, sure! Why not? Yes, it was pretty fast and I didn’t know much about him, but I liked that he was direct. After messaging some guys for 2 weeks who never make a plan, this was a welcomed change.
From here, things took an immediate turn for the worse…
We exchange numbers and he starts texting me. I said something silly and he responded “hehe”… Ummmmmmmm eww! I was annoyed. A man saying “hehe”?! Gross. Now I’m having a battle in my mind like *Am I overreacting? Maybe I’m overreacting… Everyone has different sayings they like. Hehe isn’t far from haha Tiara, it’s okay!* I convinced myself that I was easily annoyed because Aunt Flo was on her way to town, so I brushed it off. But really….. ewwwww….
We confirm the venue, movie, and time we’ll be meeting up (Fate of the Furious, West Hell, TX, and 5:45). I dozed off since I had an hour to spare (my version of Sunday Funday) and wake up to 3 messages. From him. But, whatevs. No biggie. First message: screenshot confirming ticket purchase. Cool. Second message (15 mins later): “U coming?” Sir. We already discussed this. Chill. Third Message (another 15 mins later): “Sooooo…” Listen pal. RELAX. I responded that I’d meet him there and received the reply “U sure?”.
Annoyance. I’ve told you twice. I wanted to cancel right then, but… *insert bleeding heart Tiara* I thought about him already purchasing the tickets… He’s just nervous. Or is it insecurity? Never going out with him if he’s insecure. Been there, done that, no can fix! I ask why he asked if I’m sure and says “Haha, No reason. Are you hungry?”. Smart move fella. Smart move.
He already knows that food can fix almost any of my problems
He distracted me from questioning him about whether he had insecurity issues
He offered to feed me, which I learned on my last date with a guy from the same site, isn’t always guaranteed… but that’s a story for another time
Fast forward through several more messages, him calling to see where I was wayyyyyy before I needed to leave the house (dude, I’m really coming), and me getting ready, to me in the car. I’m speeding because I’m me, which means I’m late. I pull up at the theater and let him know I’m parking. He tells me what he’s wearing and I do the same so that we can identify one another. He’s wearing a Texans shirt and blue jeans. Me? Glad ya asked :) I’m wearing cute semi-torn jeans, a cute top with big gold elephant earrings and Foxy (my fro) is looking as healthy and big as she ever has. I even painted each of my 5 eyelashes, so I looked like somebody. Somebody gawgeous and sexy! First impressions, right??
This should have been super easy. Buuuuuuuuuuuut I stood in the lobby, scanning and scanning and I couldn't find him. I felt like I could feel someone staring at me, so turned to look in that direction. I scanned again and again, and I finally saw him. Alllllllll of him. Well, let’s just say that someone forgot to mention that they’d gained a bit of weight since their last photo update. He stood there and waved in his well- worn Texans t-shirt and dingy, baggy, floor-dragging jeans. Really sir??? Who are you and the 3 friends you consumed??? This is all the effort you put into meeting me??? Friends say I should have left right then, or told him off about not using a current photo of himself, but *inserts bleeding heart Tiara* I couldn’t bring myself to make an already awkward situation any worse. So I smiled:
He gave me a half hug and turned to hand me the food and drinks he bought for me. Mind racing, I numbly followed him to the theater and to our seats and sat down. Thankfully, the previews were already on, so no talking! We watched the movie, and it was a pretty good, action packed one. He offered to share his food and M&Ms with me a few times, but I politely declined. When the movie finally ended, he walked me out to my car and we had a few seconds of small talk until I reminded him that I needed to get home and wash my hair. (I’d already told him about washing my hair earlier that day before he asked to take me out) He half hugged me again and thanked me for coming. He was very sweet through the entire thing. Sweet or not, I was pissed that the person I’d been talking to online was not who showed up.
I couldn’t even make it out of the parking lot before calling my bestie to vent! She and her boyfriend shared a few tips to help me prevent being catfished again, but nothing can really stop someone who is determined (as we’ve seen on the TV show). At least I can laugh about it now! Moral of the story: ahhhh forget it. I’m not gonna learn much from this. Just gonna let the tragedies occur so I can keep telling yall about it.
TTFN!