Chapter 17 ➺ A cold breakfast
Starting over In Madrid - Season 2
WC: 5K words TW: explicit sexual content +18 This chapter takes place around Christmas, this is so inappropriate rn lol
Summary: A new season begins for Nicky, the newly promoted photography director of Real Madrid. Navigating her new responsibilities while maintaining her secret relationship with Misa is not easy on a daily basis, especially when the unpredictability of life keeps making things even more complicated.
Chapter 12 ➺ Better and bitter Chapter 13 ➺ Dangerous steps Chapter 14 ➺ The fall Chapter 15 ➺ Broken nights Chapter 16 ➺ Winter lights
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Misa called me every day, and I called Misa every day.
We chatted for hours. We never talked about what had happened or about what would happen in the future. We talked about anything else. There was so much I wanted to know. How had she built so much muscle so quickly? Had she continued drawing classes? Or the tattoo course? Misa bombarded me with questions in return about my exhibition. How did I select the pictures? Was it hard? Did my boss complain about everything? As though we were trying to rewind time, we relived the two months we had spent apart and somehow, it felt like we had turned them into one shared story. I rewatched every game Misa played since we had broken up and we debriefed them for countless hours on the phone. I couldn’t stop commenting each save, every dive the young goalkeeper made like it had been her best performance. I couldn’t hide the joy filling my heart back day after day. It was a crazy feeling to build something back with Misa, at distance, without seeing her, without feeling her against me but I could feel it made us miss each other even more. The truth was, a few days later, there was hardly any difference between us and an actual couple, but we avoided mentioning it, and talking about serious business. And that suited me well for now.
The very morning of Christmas, my phone rang at 8’, waking me up with a jolt but I picked it up, my voice groggy.
“Misa! Merry Christmas!“
“Feliz Navidad, Feliz Navidad, Feliz Navidad, Próspero año y felicidad Nicky!“ Misa sang. “Put on the video!“
I laughed with all my heart, pressing the camera icon, and kept laughing even louder as Misa’s cute face appeared on the screen, a Christmas hat topping her head and a silly grin on her lips.
She leaned the phone against a wall and stepped back from the camera, revealing she was outside, probably in her family house’s patio, wearing a Christmas jumper matching the hat.
“You like it?“ She asked, showing off her outfit and improvising a few dance steps.
“I love a pretty Christmas clown,“ I said fondly, still laughing.
“Watch out!” Misa warned, grabbing a ball and kicking it precisely just aside the phone.
I rolled over in my bed, “I wish I could play with you, I miss our training. The weather seems so warm at your place!“
“The air is a little fresh in the morning. Only 15 degrees.” She replied, jogging in front of the phone.
I was jealous. The cold air of my bedroom made me shiver, winter was icy this year, especially where my parents lived. “I don’t know how you’re standing training outside in winter back in Madrid!”
“We’re not cold because we’re moving” Misa said, the ball back in her hand and running backward toward the farthest wall of the patio. The hat’s pompom bounced happily as she jogged.
I snorted “I couldn’t. I don’t have the stamina… my cardio’s getting worse than a sloth’s”
Misa chuckled “Es verdad… although, it would get better if you quit smoking!“
“Mis’…“ I warned her. I had explicitly told her the subject wasn’t to be discussed.
“Vale, vale“, she took the phone back in her hand, her face close and adorable. “Tell me about your Christmas’ feast.”
“The starters were the best. Shrimps and crabs rolls… and oysters of course! The main course was good too but my mom made a fuss about it being overcooked and having to hear her complain all diner spoil a bit of my appetite.”
“Jajaja, your mom seems one of a kind” Misa pointed out.
“Yes, you could say that…” I replied. I hoped the bitterness in my voice didn’t show.
I was already remembering what else had happened during Christmas Eve…
“Nicky honey, you look so much better! Is there something you didn’t tell us?” My mum had asked casually as I had smiled absentmindedly, chewing a mouthful of a buttered toast between two oysters.
I had chewed very slowly to give me the time to figure out what I was going to say as the entire family had stared at me, hanging to my lips.
“Errrr, I’m fine.” I had begun.
“You seem more than fine indeed!” My uncle had observed.
“Leave Nicky alone y’all, you’d preferred she stayed depressed?” My father had stepped in.
He had been coming to my rescue but I hadn’t had liked it, nor his allusion about my psychological state.
“It’s okey dad. Actually I wanted to tell you about it. It’s going better between Misa and I. We’re talking again.”
There had been some “Oh” and some “Ahhh” but I hadn’t missed the pleading “Dear Lord…” my mother had let out. It hadn’t gone unnoticed by most of the family, some of them staring at her, some, on the contrary, looking down at their plate.
“That’s great news, Nicky!” My uncle had broken the silence.
“What are you talking about? She broke her heart!” My mother had snapped at her brother before turning to me “Nicky, after all you endured, why?”
“We’re just talking. It feels good…” I said awkwardly.
“If you get back together, it not going to work any better“, My mom had stated calmly, “She left you once, she’ll leave you again.”
I had grasped my towel, my anger rising. I had always hated the way my mother’s opinion sounded like certainty. I had genuinely wondered if she thought she could predict the future.
I had contained the tone of my voice, remaining calm. “Mom, you don’t know Misa, she’s not like that. Besides, we're not bound to make the same mistakes again.”
She had rolled her eyes, “and what about your job? You’ll keep your relationship secret forever…?”
I had breathed out, getting more irritated that my own mother had me thinking about my relationship future when I forbid myself to discuss it with Misa.
“I don’t want to talk about that now. I told you, we just talking.”
“This is so wrong! Nicky, have some sense! You’re thinking of quitting the first job that challenges you, that stimulates you, for a girl who left you right after your accident!”
“Mom, I trust Misa.” I had replied firmly, far less convinced that I had pretended to.
I had swallowed. My mom had just awoken my own insecurities, and the fear of losing Misa again had knotted my guts. She was right about one thing: Misa had dumped me at the worst time, and I still struggled to forget how broken and shattered I had been.
“Darling, leave Nicky alone. Personally, I’m just glad she’s feeling better.” My father had winked toward me.
His words had comforted me that time, and had put an end to the heavy discussion.
Back on the phone, Misa had sensed my trouble, her gaze intense through the screen.
“Azucari?” She called softy, “Que pasa?”
“Nothing, I should get up and join everyone in the living.”
Of course I didn’t convinced her.
“I’m not buying that. What is bothering you? It’s about your mother?”
I straitened up and sat against the bed board.
“she didn't take it very well that you and I are talking again,” I confessed, looking down at my pillow.
“Oh… because of the clause I guess…?”
The contract clause came up again and I felt tired all of a sudden. I wished I could stay silent and that she could come closer to wrap her arms around my shoulders. I didn’t look at the screen when I answered.
“Yes. Plus, my mom think she's an expert in psychology. I feel like she doesn’t trust you anymore.”
“Oh… but… what about you?“ She asked.
I glanced up at the phone. Misa’s mischievousness was gone, leaving her eyes bright and sad. I couldn’t lie to her. I didn’t know what to say and I surely didn’t want to dig inside my painful feelings on Christmas Day.
“I need to hold you in my arms to properly answer”, I said, knowing she wasn’t going to like the lingering meaning.
Indeed, Misa flinched and bit her lip but as she spoke, half a smile animated her lips.
“I guess I’ll have to wait until next year, then.”
I smiled back.
“I’m sure you’ll survived waiting five more days“
***
Against all odds, I was the girl counting the hours, the minutes, the seconds, that kept me away from Misa. I came back to Madrid on the evening of the 3rd of January and went straight to Misa’s place. Her home was only a few minutes’ ride from the airport but those minutes felt longer than the entire two weeks we had spent apart.
When I finally reached the building, night had fallen a long time ago over the Spanish capital. My heavy luggage in hand I took the staircase and climbed painfully. I didn’t want to bother Misa with my claustrophobia and I hadn’t told her I had arrived at her place yet. She was well aware of my irrational fear and would have been waiting at the front door to play the gentlewomen at once. Since the breakup, I was used to handling my phobia on my own. But now, I was suffocating in the freezing cold staircase. My brain was boiling with excitement and a slight hint of apprehension. I felt like nothing was going to be the same after tonight. I wanted to see her, yes, to talk to her, but I couldn’t control how badly I wanted her to hold me in her arms, how badly I wanted to feel her.
I was out of breath when I reached her floor but the physical effort was nothing compared to the desperate longing gripping my heart as I faced the door of her apartment, and I knocked feebly. I heard the lock being unlocked from inside and the door slid open.
Misa didn’t asked, or she couldn’t help herself. She grasped my entire body, pulling me against her, and I was drowning in her scent half a second later. She smelled like love and happiness, which pulled a small tear from my eyes and a strangled giggle from my throat. The giggle lasted as she dragged me inside the apartment, looking exasperated at my big suitcase.
“You didn’t take the elevator! You should have called me!“
“I’m a big girl Mis’.”
“Yeah, but I’m bigger” she grinned and totally seduced me.
“I like that you’re bigger…“ I said, taking her thick arms and placing them around my shoulders.
I placed a soft kiss on her lips and she kissed me back with an unbearable gentleness. I lost myself in it, delighted, shrouded. She tasted even better than I remembered and suddenly my tongue ached to taste other places of her body. It had been so long since I had pleased myself. During my time alone, nothing had worked, nothing had excited me. And now, by the way our lips couldn’t leave each other, I was guessing we were about to go beyond another turning point. Neither of us had the elegance of pretending we weren't about to fuck each other right away. I had never hooked up with an ex before, let alone while being still in love with her. At this moment, I felt truly there, something was even more intense than our first night in Paris, like the broken pieces of my heart were joining together and starting to mend.
Barely breaking our kiss, the goalie freed me from my coat, dropping it carelessly onto the floor, and led me backward to the bedroom. When we reached the bed, she pushed me rather roughly and I fell heavily onto it. She stayed standing to undress herself. I watched her, eyes hooded, a burning fire waking up near my pelvis. My eyes never left her as she pulled off her top and pants, unraveling her gorgeous body in light blue underwear, her tan skin standing out in the bedroom dim lights. I thought again she had definitely gained more muscles since I last saw her naked and it sent my core aching to feel her powerful body over me.
All I wanted was to abandon myself completely. My body screamed for her to take control, and I shuddered when she came onto the bed over me. She found my lips again, but even I, hadn’t foreseen the fierceness that inhabited the goalie as she pushed me against the mattress. Sensing her wanting me so much was mind-blowing.
As I wiggled under her, her hands pulled up my shirt and lost themselves along my flanks. I caressed her strong shoulders and felt her muscles hardening under my fingers. I ran them down her back to the waistband of her thong and they sunk into the bare flesh of her ass. I felt myself getting wet before we even began to fuck. Her feverish kiss, multiplied by weeks of sex deprivation, fed my arousal and I worked messily at undressing ourselves completely. The fresh air of the room didn’t cool me down as we lay naked against each other, deepening our kisses and caresses.
“I want you, touch me… Please,” I pleaded, my arousal becoming painful.
“I want to touch you… and I want to feel you too” she murmured, her palm travelling toward my pelvis.
I sighed, mirroring her. Our fingers ended between each other’s thighs to taste our wetness, and we breathed out simultaneously, only to touch more of our unreasonable arousal. Misa yelped my name on my lips, stirring my desire of her in a needy groan. I just couldn’t get enough of her moans, nor I could deal with it when I got what she was about to do as she straightened up to cross her legs over my hips.
Slowly, she angled her hips until her core pressed delicately onto mine. A strangled sound escaped my lips as her own wetness coated my intimacy. She pressed herself more, moaned, and began to rub herself onto me. I grasped the bedsheets, savoring the feel of our shared excitation, her cries resounding loudly when her hips rutted onto my core. Pleasure built in quickly, her clit and lips sliding deliciously against mine, and I was in awe at the sight of the beautiful spectacle she was offering me. She arched, holding her weight onto her arms, her contracted muscles sculpting her toned body. We were getting completely drenched and Misa quickened her moves, closing her eyes, her desperation showing as she seemed unable to finish herself like this. She stopped moving abruptly and swiftly slid backward until my head ended up between her legs.
“Please…” she sighed.
I did not need to be asked twice before I held her powerful thighs to drive her hips lower and pressed my mouth against her folds. I started to lick her eagerly. I could have come like this, with that intoxicated taste of her body filling my mouth, and her needy moans filling the room. But the brunette wasn’t going to let me come on my own. She leaned forward, bowing her head between my legs and for a moment I couldn’t think of anything else but of her tongue.
“Fuck” I blurted out after a particularly well placed lick. I mimicked her rhythm, my tongue sliding widely from up to down, her moans vibrating softly onto my own sensitive area. Warmth grew in my belly, dense and strong, as we ate each other out passionately. But when she added her fingers to the equation, pleasure became unbearable.
“I’m gonna come, baby! Slow down or come with…“
But it was too late. I came suddenly, the coils running through my body with much strength took my breath away. A long whine joined mine, freeing itself from deep inside the brunette, and both our cries filled the cold bedroom for a few seconds. She fell forward just after, her legs shaky and her breathing coming out in rasps.
After a minute or so, Misa heaved herself off me with a low groan.
“Ostia,” She swore, locking her brown gaze into mine. Maybe it was her eyes but my core already felt lonely, a shared feeling, given to the brunette’s reaction when I sat up to find her lips again.
She pushed me back onto the bed, pinning my hands onto the pillow while she settled between my legs to spread them wide.
“Te haré el amor hasta que mueras de placer” she said, lascivious. “Entiendes? You understand?“
Misa gently pressed my clit with her fingertips, and I moaned more than I nodded.
“Bien, I’m going to repeat in English anyway: I’ll make love to you until you die of pleasure.“
“Please!“ was all I could reply.
She slid two fingers inside, snatching an instant cry of joy. Feeling her back there with her gaze heavy with desire, was pushing me beyond happiness. It was one thing to love Misa, and a totally different one to make love with Misa. To experience both in the same time was overwhelming. I felt alive to the fullest, the broken pieces aligning themselves, mending in a straight strong line and dissolving back into bliss.
I did not control the sinful shouts that left me again. I did not control anything anymore. All I was able to do was holding Misa like my life depended on it.
Misa! Misa! Stay! Please don’t go! Please!
"I’m here, Nicky! I’m not going anywhere. I promise!", her soft voice resounded in my ear and I realized I had said out loud the words ringing in my mind between each cry of pleasure.
Embarrassed, I hid my face in my hands as I landed back on earth. I almost felt numb with the release. Everything was very quiet in the room, so quiet we could hear our breathing getting back to normal and our skin brushing against each other. The brunette was holding me close, rubbing her mouth softly against the column of my neck.
“I have to go to the restroom”, she said and I grunted in protest when she got out of bed, leaving me alone and shivering.
With the rush of endorphins, I was drifting off when she returned, a toy and a harness in her hand and a wide smirk on her face. That awoke me at once.
***
I was pulled out of sleep by soft lips brushing my cheek. The smell of her surrounded me, a hint of her sweet perfume lingered beneath the scent of her skin. My first conclusion was that I was still asleep, dreaming she had come back to me like had dreamt countless time before.
Consequently, I didn’t dare to open my eyes. The bedsheets made a rustling noise, punctuated by the popping sounds of her kisses. The air of the room felt icy cold and I sunk deeper in her embrace, my face pressing against her torso to snuggle in her warmth. Her breast felt soft through her large T shirt, contrasting with her broad and hard body. Her arms wrapped me more, trapping me in that other world. I had no idea what time it was, but it felt as though I'd only had a few hours of sleep.
I stretched my legs and realized I felt sore between them. My flesh still bore the memories of the night and they suddenly flooded my mind.
A strap. A moan. A cry. Fingers burring themselves in my mouth. The smell of sex. More cries.
Bliss.
Was it real after all? Had Misa and I really made love all night, until the first lights of dawn had filtered between the heavy curtains? The feel of being unable to get enough of each other filled me back and I remembered we had stopped only because exhaustion had finally caught up with us. I felt strained all of a sudden. My body was nevertheless painfully satisfied, the burning feel between my legs a good reminder of why I feeling so damned sleepy.
Misa pulled my face slightly away to resume her kisses on my cheek. I smiled, realizing the realness of the situation.
“Please don't wake me up. I'm dreaming about Misa Rodríguez.” I moaned.
She chuckled, her lips grazing my jawline “Sounds nice, Sleeping beauty. What is Misa Rodriguez doing in your dream?”
“She’s in my bed, needy as fuck, and I’m loving it.”
I heard Misa snort and pull back. "Who was holding me like a pulpo all night? It’s you Princesa!
“Shhh, you have to choose!“ I said, keeping my eyes closed. "Am I un pulpo or una princesa?“
"Only a kiss will tell…"
I giggled, defenseless against the goalie’s endearing humor. "Okay. As long as it doesn’t wake me up from this wonderful dream…”
The goalie took her time, bending over me, her long hair brushing my face, her lips trailing kisses along my neck, going up my ear, passing on my cheek before falling onto my mouth. My eyes fluttered open to see the young woman peering at me from above, disheveled, a frank smile stretching her lips.
“It worked”, I sighed, taking her face in my hands, "I’m still dreaming“.
I looked at her, and I snuggled back against her body.
“Are you hungry, Princesa Pulpo?" Misa asked.
"Starving, and don’t ever call me that again!“
She giggled, gave me another kiss, and got out of bed, pulling me by the arms to follow her. The air of the room felt freezing cold against my skin, still hot with sleep.
I opened my suitcase, pulling out a few clothes and stuff onto the coffee table until I found the proper outfit for this comfy day at home. We got dressed and went to the kitchen to fix us something to eat. I prepared toasts with the rest of a loaf of bread, while Misa ground us a good coffee. She dressed the table, brung the mugs, and went to pace in the living room.
I finished cooking the food, put the eggs and ham onto the bread and turned off the fire. I discovered Misa, standing up near the coffee table, holding one of the glossy prints from my bag. As I came to drop the plates onto the table, she showed me a photo of herself, lying on her side on my sofa, drowsing. The reddish twilight rays were lighting half of her face when the other was left in a purple blueish shadow.
Muted, Misa peered at more photos: her wandering through a wide street, her laughing wildly in my office, the two of us at the Parque del Retiro, looking at each other with a silly grin on our faces… She looked at them for a long moment, and dropped them one after one on the table.
“You printed them… And kept them… with you, all this time.” Hurt and sorrow filled me again and I couldn’t look at her, even when she took my hand in hers. “Like you kept this”, she whispered, her fingers finding the bracelet attached to my wrist.
I withdrew my hand, feeling the pain of being abandoned, lost and wounded, as vivid as when she left me. But as I did so, Misa held me in her arms, and I struggled to pull away, realizing how much I resented her.
“Let me go!” I shouted suddenly.
However, Misa kept holding me with much strength. “I’m so sorry, Cari!” She pleaded, “Perdón! I should have never left you! I was selfish! Lo siento, Nicky… lo siento mucho…” her voice trailed away in a sob and I stopped fighting, going limp against her. Tears began to roll from my eyes.
“I couldn’t give up on you.” I said. “So it never stopped hurting.”
“It never stopped for me either!” The goalie cried on my shoulder. “I wanted to fix things but you avoided me every time I tried!”
“You seemed better off without me. Plus, seeing you only made the pain worse.”
Misa loosened her hold on me and I faced her. She gazed down, crying silently. She looked so ashamed I felt guilty for having rejected her. I had never been able to bear seeing Misa crying and I took her back in my arms.
“It’s okay…” I said as I kept her close and her sob gradually faded away. My lips found her cheek, salty with tears, and a soft smile stretched her lips when I rested my head on her shoulder.
“I don’t want us to hurt each other.” I said sadly.
“We never wanted to. We won’t again.”
She said it with a serious determination and I couldn’t help smiling, softened.
“I know Mis’ but we did, and eventually it had to come out.” I sensed my eyes prickling.
“Escuchame.” She lifted my face, forcing me to look into her eyes. “I was never better without you. I was so worried! I didn’t know how to handle things anymore. It was never because of you!“
“I know, baby” I said. What else could I say, with her desperate eyes locked into my eyes? My feelings for her were urging me to speak more. “Since we’re talking again Mis’ I feel… at peace. In the same time, the idea of losing you again… I can’t. I’ve been there, I was so down. Sometimes it comes back and I can’t breeze…”
Her eyes became shinier again as I held her gaze. It was true, in her arms, loneliness could not find me anymore, but the ghostly feel of hurt still hovered above us.
Yet I knew that it was time for us to talk, at last, what Misa did, picking up one of the printed photos as she started speaking.
“Since you became photography director, your work always came first. I didn’t think it was really healthy but it seemed important to you, and, it would have been quite a joke to be taught a lesson from a professional athlete working every weekend and going abroad every two weeks… but it was before your accident… Your behavior scared me more than your wounds. I didn’t know what to do. You made me feel like I wasn’t on your side and travelling kept me from looking after you. It was a hard time, Nicky! For me too, it had been hard. I was playing poorly. I was lost, it was too much. But in the end, I felt as though I had run away…“ She let the photo fall onto the floor as fresh tears started to roll down her cheeks. “I do think leaving you was the weakest thing I could have done.”
I was crying too, frozen in the middle of living room, Misa’s words reopening the scares that never healed. Yes I had suffered, but there was so much going on at the time, it was clear that the scars had never been caused by Misa. And now, it was her again who came to hold me back in her arms when we were both trembling. Like I did onto the dance floor, I placed both my hands onto her torso, and took my courage.
“If it wasn’t for the clause, nothing would have stopped us from dating far sooner and nothing would have torn us apart. I know I hurt you and I’m sorry Misa. I’m not saying leaving me was the right thing to do, but I don’t think it was weak. I know you did because you thought it would be better for both of us.”
I exhaled deeply. Yes, everything was clear now.
“And maybe it could have made our lives simpler, but certainly not better… at least not for me.” I continued.
Misa’s intense stare helped me find the strength to fully open my heart again. I took a deep breath. I spent a few seconds trying to find the words and let what they implied about my professional future sink in.
“I don’t want a thriving, creative and ambitious career… without you“
For all answer, the young woman’s cries intensified. She held me tighter than a ball after a penalty.
“Te quiero! Te amo Nicky!“ She sobbed, “I shouldn’t but I’m so happy to hear that” she said, her cries turning into a wet chuckle. "I’ll wait for you, as long as you need to find a new job. I know I need to be more patient…“
We locked our wet eyes again. I wiped the tears from her face delicately.
“You, impatient?” I teased her, sending her smiling apologetically.
I drove Misa to the window, the Ciudad Real Madrid was in sight in the distance.
“I do trust you Mis'” I confessed. I faced her, lowering my gaze to her mouth. “because I love you...”
She approached her face slowly and wrapped her lips around mine as I hugged her without any restraint.
“I love you! You are so….” I began, drunk with her taste.
“Attractive, strong, brilliant, funny… I know, I know.” She cut in, obnoxious.
“Unbearable!” I shouldered her away from me, irritated to still be charmed by her silly personality. “Breakfast's probably colder than a goalkeeper at the Ciudad by now”, I said.
“One keeper can’t feel the cold,“ She replied, kissing me on the forehead.
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