#misoginy tw

[blogitalianissimo]

Sdoganare la figura dello psicologo è giustissimo, può aiutare a gestire il rifiuto o la rabbia. . Moltissimi colpevoli di femminicidio non sono affetti da problemi o malattie psicologiche - psichiatriche, sono lucidissimi. Un'altra cosa da non fare sarebbe quella di cercare attenuanti, giustificazioni. Giulia è morta pare la sera stessa, accoltellata. Tutti normalmente giriamo con un coltello e sacchi neri in auto.

Il delitto di onore è stato abolito negli anni 80, prendo sempre questa data ad esempio per ricordarmi quanto poco tempo è passato e quanto c'è da fare. Temo che le nostre figlie e figli non vivranno in una società cambiata dove le donne non hanno paura. Non che il fidanzato o marito sia un assassino (non che un femminicida giri con un segnale luminoso ad indicare che lo è) ma di camminare sole la sera, di uno che sembri ci guardi strano, delle micro aggressioni come la mano morta in bus o i fischi per strada.

Sono d'accordo su ogni parola che hai scritto. Posso aggiungere che molte testate giornalistiche hanno provato a sottolineare come l'assass1no fosse presumibilmente depresso e "triste", come se fosse appunto una giustificazione, ma così non è, vattene dallo psicologo e cerca di farti aiutare a superare la depressione, ma non ti permettere di fare del male ad un'altra persona e pensare che questa sia un'attenuante.

E per carità, non ho nessuna competenza per parlare, ma più vengono fuori dettagli, più sembrano le azioni di una persona che ha premeditato tutto, anche se probabilmente tenteranno di negare la premeditazione rigirando la frittata, accade sempre così, il film è lo stesso ogni volta.

Io personalmente credo che andando avanti le cose miglioreranno progressivamente, però immaginare un futuro dove una donna può sentirsi al sicuro uscendo da sola la sera è appunto veramente utopico, e di passi avanti bisogna ancora farne molti.

[normal-thoughts-official]

When/how do you think Ragnor and Catrina realized camille was being abusive towards Magnus?

Btw, I love u❤

fantastic question anon, i love YOU! i think that depends on a couple of factors. i think people who have already been or know people who have been in an abusive relationship are more likely to notice the warning signs, and/or to interpret stuff like the person pulling away as a sign of abuse. whereas people who haven't lived through it and aren't informed on it might not even realize what's going on until before it's over, and even be angry

so because we live in a hell world and catarina is a black woman, i think she is more likely to notice the warning signs than ragnor is, because black women are more likely to be in abusive relationships than white men. i'm not saying catarina herself has been in an abusive relationship necessarily but presumably her family has plenty of black women and she's also more likely to also be friends with other woc and marginalized ppl than ragnor is because again, hell world. so she has a higher chance of having been in a similar position before, although of course that's no set in stone rule and ragnor's circle of friends does seem to have a lot of marginalized ppl (and i hc him as aroace which makes him queer which puts him in an entirely different position than a straight white man and probably means something about the relationships he builds, but anyway) BUT my point is, i think catarina is more likely to notice earlier

i think ragnor is pretty perceptive tho, and also that they are pretty close and talk a lot, so i think once catarina noticed she would have talked to ragnor, and it wouldn't take ragnor long to realize that she was right

so okay when would they notice? i think that's always a slow process but i'm pretty sure their suspicions would first arise when magnus started to ditch them and stuff like parties and outings because of camille. first of all, i don't think that's like magnus at all, and second of all, there is an obvious difference between "i'm in the honeymoon phase" and "sorry, i don't think it's a good idea, my partner might not like it" or even "yeah! that sounds great!... just let me ask my partner about it". big difference

so that already has catarina in particular very wary of her because magnus is not the kind to ditch his friends because of a partner and the way he's acting about this is weird. so, she decides to keep an eye and maybe even put this to the test by making a surprise visit and invite him to a party like, right then doijadiosaj and she takes him out and she notices that magnus is Out Of It and he seems even a little... tense and scared and almost paranoid. and like, this is relatively at the beginning of their relationship so she wouldn't have been Horrible about it yet but at the beginning the person expresses enough control and discomfort with these things for you to be kind of uncomfortable even if you don't really realize that it's because you're Scared Of Hurting Your Parner

so THAT gets catarina really worried, because if magnus can't relax because he's afraid of camille's reaction, and worse, if he doesn't REALIZE that's why, that's the reddest a flag can get in such an early stage of their relationship. she tries to talk to magnus about it but magnus is the king of deflecting and basically waves her worries off. which just makes her more worried, but what is she supposed to do? she knows that pushing will only makes things worse and make it easier for camille to turn magnus against her and cut their ties. so, she lets it go and pretends that she buys his excuses. that's probably when she also talks to ragnor. ragnor probably had noticed that something was off but he hadn't really thought that it would be something super bad, and i think he'd still have his doubts about it, but well, he has that on the back of his mind now. and besides, he trusts catarina's judgement and he can admit when she is more qualified than him to assess something. it's why their relationship works

the first time they say anything is probably when magnus tells him about some fight they've had. probably because magnus told camille that he was upset about something she did - like idk, making fun of him in public about a topic that's sensitive to him. and like magnus wasn't even mad at her, he had never mentioned that whatever joke she made was off limits or related to a sensitive topic, he just wanted to communicate and let her know that it had hurt him, and she pretty much Exploded at him. and somehow turned it all around so it was magnus' fault for accusing her of trying to hurt him on purpose when that's not what magnus did, and now magnus pretty much wanted advice on how to apologize and let her know that he loves her

so catarina and ragnor try to subtly poke holes in her logic and show him that he has nothing to apologize for, without straight up being like "she's manipulating you" because Kids, That Does Not Go Well. and it makes magnus... heartbreakingly confused in that way abused people get when the logic they have been being shoved under shows cracks that would mean something too awful to even imagine

and catarina is a fucking wreck because at this point, she is sure of it and it makes her relive... so much trauma of other people she's seen go through that and lost and/or her own relationships if you want to go with that. and she doesn't want to lose magnus or have magnus go through that but she doesn't know what to do and she KNOWS that next step is magnus pulling away from her and ragnor no matter how careful she is

she probably gets the rare Comforting Hug from ragnor once magnus leaves and she also talks to dot and maybe elias? you know, their other friends. and they have a Catarina Comforting Day and hear her stories and cuddle and you know, try to make her feel better. and eventually they try to devise some kind of game plan so they can try to help magnus get out of this

it all goes to shit of course when they have the rare outing with camille, and camille is Obviously Refusing To Interact With Them If She Can Avoid It which is classic abuse thing - sure, i'll go see your friends, but you have to choose between interacting with them and me, so really you don't actually get to see with your friends because you'll feel bad that i'm isolated and eventually seeing your friends will feel either pointless or nervewracking cuz it feels like juggling your relationships. and if you want to see them without me i am going to act like you have something to hide and i'm a victim

anyway! so they notice that and they try to undermine that tactic by, you know, interacting with her a lot. so camille switches it up and tries to pick up a fight, and lo and behold, she succeeds - i know ragnor doesn't look like the kind of guy who loses his temper easily but i think when you push his buttons he is VERY bad at hiding it and half a snappy comment is all camille needs to lash out at him and play the victim. she's good

so that's when their plan gets fucked and everything goes to hell because then it's just too easy for camille to isolate magnus from his friends with really just a few tweaks to the previous tactic i mentioned - "are you really picking them over me, magnus? you're gonna keep hanging out with them when they are so rude to me, probably tell you all sorts of things about me, try to get you to break up with me? can't you see how manipulative they are? how they're trying to turn you against me? why do you insist so much on seeing them when you know how much that hurts me?"

and done

catarina and ragnor probably fight after that because god DAMN it, she fucking tOLD him that they had to be careful! and she's been swallowing all kinds of shitty comments from her but ragnor just had to fucking lose it at the first provocation, didn't he? and god knows how long it'd take for them to reach him after that, because camille is already preemptively making him think that they are trying to manipulate him to break up with her out of jealousy so he won't listen to anything they say directly. and she's right, of course, and ragnor is out of his depth and doesn't UNDERSTAND how these things go and how much this slip up will affect them in the future

i like to think that ragnor apologizes to her and catarina probably... has a breakdown because fuck she is worried and she is reliving way too many nightmares here. and ragnor is actually very tender and hugs her and apologizes and kisses her forehead and tells her that he's going to fix it. and he actually swallows his pride and apologizes to camille just to try and turn this thing around, but, well. the damage is done. and really, there is only so much friends can do when dealing with something like this. at the end of the day, they did all they could

and from then on they try their best to be there for him and pull magnus out of the camille-created isolation, but there's only so much they can do, and it's up to magnus to notice and get help to get rid with her. they'll always try to be his support system, but well. it's hard

and of course eventually magnus does get rid of her claws and catarina, ragnor, dot, elias etc., are all there for him when he does. and he probably feels guilty because he pushed them away but really they are just so RELIEVED that he's finally free of her. and him and catarina probably get a teary hug full of apologies for things that aren't their fault, and they try to make up for lost time by spending as much time as possible together now. especially because i think that it also hurts catarina to have her friends pull away - she obviously yearns for family, for closeness, i don't think she does well with people pulling away from her, she wants the kind of closeness that comes from routine and she used to have that with magnus and the rest of the immortal squad, you know? and magnus knows that, so, he tries to compensate

and eventually they start to heal their relationships, but magnus still has a long way to heal himself, but well. he'll get there. they are together and all

[vanimeldes]

Ok, people, this has to stop. Normally, I voice my own personal opinion on my main, but this time, I chose to write this post on my side blog just because this has nothing to do with any of these two characters in particular.

It has to do with the hideous term of "clean pussy".

It seems to me that, although we are already in 2019, we still categorize women and female characters according to these two opposite terms - virgin and whore - which apply to a woman who isn't a sexually active person and a woman who has multiple sexual partners, respectively. Furthermore, women and female characters are idealized and villified, respectively, according to these two wholly erronate and wholly misogynist labels. This post is meant to show why Sansa is better than Daenerys, and I repeat, my post has nothing to do with which character I prefer and which character people prefer; but it has to do with how this post is meant to show how having a "clean pussy" makes a woman better that a woman who doesn't have a clean pussy, because the later had multiple lovers throughout her life.

From what I know, being a sexually active woman doesn't make you better than a woman who is less sexually active or who chooses to remain virgin. From what I know, a virgin woman is not inherently better than a woman who chooses to have multiple lovers. From what I know, the sexual aspect of one's life doesn't make him better or worse than the others.

Moreover, with this labelling comes the inherent idealization and villification of these women and female characters, idealization and villification which are extremely mysoginistic at their core and the expression of the purest misogynist male fantasy. The Madonna type of woman is put on a pedestal and praised particularily for this reason; while the sexually adventurous woman is instantly demonized and shoved away and implied to be inherently worse and less valid because "her pussy is unclean". And I insist - because with this fandom wank, I feel like I should do this - this has nothing to do with any of these characters, but with fandom's perception over what qualities and traits make a woman better than another. The author of this tweet included the "clean pussy" because he certainly believed that among the qualities that place Sansa above Daenerys, being sexually chaste is a necessary one. (Yes, I know that Sansa is raped in the show, but you got the point: it's about the sex life and the sexual activity of these two characters that are meant to mirror each other and, subsequently, to mirror the qualities and the flaws of these two characters.)

So, we are in 2019 and we still label women ss virgin and whore, the former category meant to represent the paragon of womanly virtue and the later - meant to represent what's worst in a woman.

This is what I felt I should say. For the fourth time, this post is not meant to criticize a portion of fandom because of the character they like, but because their perception over what makes a woman better than another. If you still feel personally attacked by my post or just don't like it, you can always unfollow and/or block me. Hate messages are outdated, too.

[seeking-knowledge]

Teacher: let’s talk about inequity for women in science and in the laboral world in general.

Male student: okay but what about how police men can hit men and can’t hit women huh?? isn’t that important, too? :) why can’t we talk about the privileged women in this country who don’t get beaten by police??? let’s talk about that! :))

[blogitalianissimo]

La questione non è dire che bisogna avere paura di tutti gli uomini, che tutti fanno schifo e tutte queste altre cagate qui, la questione è che ogni anno ci sono sempre vittime di abusi, razzismo, omofobia di tutto e di più, quindi certi commenti che non si possono minimamente biasimare non portano comunque a nessun risultato, onestamente me ne sbatto il cazzo se i soliti italiani medi dopo una tragedia fanno i moralisti mettendo il post dove si sentono schifati e buttano merda solo perché si che tanto poi tra un mese nessuno ne parlerà più e ci si rivede alla prossima tragedia, servono soluzioni e cosa più importante e metterle in pratica, servono interventi, serve un impegno collettivo per migliorare il tutto perché non si può continuare così, non si può sentire che tra qualche giorno si arrivi ad altre tragedie, un omicidio rimane un omicidio e solo per questo ci voglio condanne più dure

Bisogna prima di tutto educare al rispetto delle persone e alla vita, bisogna far crescere le persone con dei valori ad oggi inesistenti, non bisogna alimentare odio

Come l'Italia ci ha insegnato i maggiori dibattiti sono su chi semplicemente dice ma non tutti sono così, è sbagliato, bisogna fare modo di prendere una posizione vera che possa fare in modo che in futuro queste cose non accadano più

Ma del omicido (perché si, è omicido e non lo chiamerò con un'altro nome) in singola sede non me ne faccio nulla, non bisogna pensare solo a quello, ma anche a tutte le altre forme di cui non si parla e che sono prima di ammazzare, quando si parla di educazione si parla e non mi stancherò di dirlo è educarli al rispetto delle persone e della vita, quindi se le persone voglio postare frasi solo per rabbia e tra quelle cose ci sono scritte cose stupide allora non stupitevi se ci saranno persone a rispondere in modo stupido ma sappiate che non state concludendo nulla a spargere odio, e non lo dico tanto per dire perché è sempre stato così e come risultato siamo ancora qui a dire le stesse cose.

Scusami se vado subito alla fine, ma permettimi di spiegarti perché chiamiamo casi come questo femminicidi e non omicidi.

Una donna muore perché un ladro è entrato in casa sua e ha premuto il grilletto, questo è un omicidio.

Una donna muore perché l'ex fidanzato è entrato in casa sua e ha premuto il grilletto, questo è un femminicidio.

Qual è la differenza? La vittima è sempre una donna e il carnefice sempre un uomo, non è la stessa cosa? No, non lo è, quando l'uomo cova dentro di sé una mascolinità tossica che lo induce a paragonarti ad un oggetto di sua proprietà e a decidere di violarti o addirittura toglierti la vita, lì ti sta facendo una violenza di genere, ti sta assoggettando in quanto donna inferiore a lui.

E sia chiaro, questo vale anche per le altre minoranze, la matrice razzista, la matrice transfobica, omofobica ecc e mi preme specificare che varrebbe anche al contrario la violenza di genere se una donna decidesse di uccidere o violare un uomo in quanto uomo.

Ora torno all'inizio dell'ask e ti rispondo in ordine

Io non faccio parte di quelle persone che ieri hanno incoraggiato le donne ad aver paura degli uomini a prescindere e odiarli, o in generale di quelle che ci stanno sciacallando, perché non nascondo che a me stanno altamente sulle palle quei post tipo "VISTO VE LO AVEVAMO DETTO, LO SAPEVAMO T U T T E", come se si stesse aspettando la conferma per dire "gnegne avevo ragione io", cioè quello è un comportamento che trovo imbarazzante come trovo altrettanto imbarazzanti tutti i cazzo di "NOT ALL MEN" che ho letto. Ieri qualsiasi social è stato un cumulo di melma, forse l'unico salvo è proprio tumblr perché gli italiani non hanno poi così tanto spazio qua sopra.

Precisando questo, devi però essere consapevole che una donna avrà sempre paura di uscire di sera da sola, e avrà sempre un po' di timore a trovarsi da sola con un uomo, anche se quell'uomo 99,9% è una persona a posto e manco l'avrà notata quella donna, ma quel piccolo dubbio ti rimane. Ed è uno schifo, non dovremmo sentirci così, ma ti giuro che buona parte delle donne possono raccontare di aver avuto almeno una volta nella vita quel timore per colpa di uno sconosciuto e/o non.

Poi ovvio, manco a puntare il dito contro ogni uomo a casissimo, sono d'accordo su questo, ma diciamo che, almeno per come la vedo io, di fronte a queste tragedie bisognerebbe solo far silenzio, sono generalizzazioni, sbagliate sì, ma non è la giusta tempistica per dire "non siamo tutti così", anche se è vero, ma per una volta si chiede d'ingoiare il rospo e mostrare un po' di delicatezza, perché comunque questa roba viene detta solo su twitter, ma altrove dubito che una qualsiasi ragazza chiami "assass1no" ogni uomo che incontra, mentre al contrario la misoginia è all'ordine del giorno e le donne convivono con le generalizzazioni.

E sì assolutamente, sono a favore dell'educare al rispetto delle persone, ci mancherebbe altro, ma ovviamente tra dire e fare eh. Io purtroppo non ho poteri magici e da ignorante posso solo proporre soluzioni che già in mille hanno suggerito e pensato, come partire dal contesto familiare, proseguire a scuola, sdoganare la figura dello psicologo (e sia chiaro, con questo non voglio dire che ogni persona che commette atti atroci sia affetta da disturbi e malesseri, molti purtroppo sono lucidissimi).

Detto questo, a parte il commentare l'irritante "not all men", e mi dispiace ma dovete finirla, rimango impassibile su questo, non ho generalizzato sugli uomini né qui né altrove. Per il resto sono apertissima al dibattito, e che tu ci creda o no, ho apprezzato questo ask.

[blogitalianissimo]

Se ancora si pensa che il femminicidio sia un omicidio "classico" siamo ben lontani da avere reali soluzioni al problema. Va capito da tutti cosa c'è dietro e perché serve una parola apposita per definirlo.

Esattamente, non è una parola che è stata coniata per rendere la donna speciale. Purtroppo la violenza di genere esiste, è un problema enorme sia nel nostro paese che altrove, ed è giusto sottolineare che si tratta di una violenza di genere.

Come sia chiaro, per quanto mi riguarda si dovrebbe fare lo stesso anche con omicidi di matrice razzista, omofoba e transfobica.

[blogitalianissimo]

Da donna, non so come potremmo cambiare le cose. Vedo anche troppi uomini e donne convinti che il possesso e la gelosia siano simbolo di amore, di tenere all'altra persona. È una mentalità radicata negli adulti e nei ragazzi che dovrebbero migliorare il futuro ed il modo di vivere della società, essere migliori. Come se alcun* non volessero cambiare le cose, non ne vedessero i motivi ed i danni, solo perdere una condizione di potere e privilegio.

Non posso che darti ragione, e ripeto l'ho scritto anche prima, non ho poteri magici e non so proprio che soluzioni proporre che non siano il seguire i ragazzi fin dalla giovane età, in famiglia a scuola e sdoganare la figura dello psicologo, e anche qui, diciamo che a parole è facile ma nella pratica eh. E appunto come dici, è un problema che abbiamo radicato in tutte le generazioni, a partire dai più anziani.

[this-hound]

the mcyt community on tiktok/twitter is fast to cancel creators for the stupidest things but they never do anything about subjects that really matter.

tommy had to apologize for a joke he didn't even make after facing backlash. but still everyone closes their eyes everytime niki is treated like garbage by the fandom. no one bothers to talk about the terrible homophobic comments thrown at scott. no one says a word about quackity's chat being so incredibly racist.

we are ready to jump at someone's throat for something they didnt write, yet we will see actual hate speech and won't lift a finger to call it out.

this isnt new, i know. it just angers me too much for me to stay silent.