The Chance They Didn’t Have
I started writing this piece last spring in the middle of my English class with tears in my eyes. It was supposed to be my grieving fic but I never found the courage to finish it and now that some time has passed, I finally did it!
MISSING ARCHER.
Summary - Ronja wants to know what kind of person her father was.
Cherish the Peanut Week - Day 6 - Questions and Answers.
It was a reckless thing to do – to leave her Mother back in New York and come all the way here to this mysterious town called Storybrooke to meet the aunt she’s never meet before (well, she has met her, she just doesn’t remember it because she was only a few months old) without telling anyone.
Mother will be furious. She’ll be grounded for the rest of her life at best. She can forget all the parties with friends, all the fun things she was supposed to do during this summer.
But she doesn’t regret it. She still thinks it was worth it. He was worth it.
She came here for a reason, not to only meet an aunt who may not even talk with her. She came here for him, for her father she has no memory of. Mother told her he was killed when she was only a few months old, killed by Mother’s lover. Mother was running away from this hell, she couldn’t see her sister and everyone else in that town so she took her baby and left Storybrooke, created a life on her own.
Despite the fact that Ronja had a pretty good life in New York, she felt the need to know her father. However, every time she asked Mother about him, she would change the topic or get mad, nothing in between. They’ve never talked about him openly.
She couldn’t take it anymore. She had to know what kind of person her father was. So she took her bag, cellphone, money and left home, hoping to come back as soon as possible.
Truth be told, it’s her first step trying to figure out who her biological father was.
There are days when she thinks that there’s no reason to know him now. Why would she want to know someone who can’t be in her life anymore? But then she looks into the mirror and sees those blue eyes which are not her mother’s. If not her red hair, she would start to wonder if Mother is actually her mother because they’re nothing alike. She doesn’t know details about her parents life. She doesn’t know how he ended up being her father when he was dating the aunt she’s now going to meet.
And she wants to know; she needs to know.
Pushing her wild red hair away from her face, she knocks on the door enthusiastically, though her hand is shaking from nervousness.
She doesn’t know what to expect. Will her aunt want to talk with her? Will she recognize her? Does she still live here? Is she even alive?
All of a sudden the door is opened and a middle aged woman with short black hair and dark eyes appears.
“Hel-”
“Peanut!” Those dark eyes turn wide as the woman in the doorway cuts her off with a surprised gasp.
Ronja opens her mouth to disagree because the woman is wrong, she was never called peanut, but before she has a chance to do it, she’s pulled into a tight hug.
When the woman pulls away, she looks embarrassed, her cheeks turning pink.
“I’m sorry,” she apologizes but Ronja shakes her head. She didn’t mind it. In fact, she’s never been hugged like this before.
“Are you Regina Mills?” She finally asks.
“Yes,” the woman nods her head and smiles a bit. “Come in”
(…)
“How did you know who I am?” Ronja asks as her aunt puts a cup of tea in front of her and sits down on the chair.
“You have his eyes” she replies and her eyes start shining with tears.
How much do you have to love someone that even eighteen years later you get emotional just thinking about them, Ronja wonders as she watches Regina shakily wrap her hands around the cup.
“What’s your name?”
“You don’t know my name?!” Ronja cannot hide her surprise.
Regina only smiles sadly. “After you were born, we traveled to the Underworld. A few days later Zelena took you there too. Your dad insisted that you will not have a name until we are back at home. You were safer without a name there. He called you Peanut.” She swallows hard and adds, “That same day when we came back he was killed.”
“Oh.”
She didn’t know any of this. And she supposes it’s quite a shock to her to find out that she was in the Underworld and all that stuff.
Ronja was aware that she was special, that she, like her mother, did things that no one else could do. But still finding out this is shocking.
“My name is Ronja,” she finally says.
“Ronja. He would’ve liked it,” Regina nods and smiles again, this sad sad smile that makes Ronja want to cry.
But she fights her emotions. She came here with a purpose.
“I came here to find out who my father was.” Ronja states then, shifting nervously on the chair. “You’re the only person who can help me in this.”
Regina sighs. “Of course.” But she doesn’t tell anything after that. She just stares at the cup of coffee in front of her as a few tears roll down her cheeks.
Ronja waits patiently, giving her aunt all the time she needs.
And then Regina starts talking. She tells her about Robin’s good heart, about how much he loved forest and everything in it. She tells her about archery and thieving. She tells her about the way he looked at life and how much he treasured every single moment of it.
Regina waves her hand in the air and a box of photos appear and then she tells her more stories, about the missing year fights and how he died to protect her.
And when Regina finishes her tale, both of them are crying. Ronja is staring at Regina with tears rolling down her cheeks as Regina puts her hand over her mouth and lets out a sob.
It takes a while for them to calm down. And when Ronja speaks again, her voice is hoarse from crying, “Did he love me?”
“Of course he did!” Regina assures. “He loved you more than his life.”
Ronja tries so hard to keep herself strong but tears start rolling down her cheeks and she closes her eyes, squeezes them shut as if trying to stop the tears.
“Did you see Roland again?” Ronja asks, trying to talk desperately even as the tears are running down her cheeks.
“I wanted to. But I didn’t” Regina shakes her head, wiping away her tears. “I realized it was better if he moved on. Without me.”
“And did you move on?”
“Yes. I did. I married my old friend,” she smiles through her tears and motions to the photo on the counter in which Regina is hugging a tall blonde woman. “Mal is with me now and I love her very much but I’ll never forget your father. Never. No matter how much I try to really move on and don’t cry every time I think about him, I just can’t” she shakes her head. “I just loved him too much, I guess.”
“Regina, I don’t understand one thing,” Ronja states, “ how had I been created if you loved each other that much?”
“Your mother had some tricks of her own.” Regina replies bitterly. “But it doesn’t matter now. All that matters is that Robin loved you very much.”
Ronja doesn’t say anything then. She just stares at the cup of tea in front of her and thinks that she would’ve loved to meet her father.
“You could’ve been my daughter, peanut” After a while Regina whispers more to herself than to Ronja. “But life is such a cruel thing, my darling, and your father was taken from you, from me, from everyone.”
Ronja only hums in response and stares at her hands.
Indeed.
They talk for a few more hours. They talk about Robin and Roland, about their life together and Regina cries, and Ronja does as well.
And then Ronja has to leave. Before leaving, Regina hugs her so tightly, and they cry for a little while, holding each other, sharing their pain.
When Ronja walks out of the house, she’s certain that she will come back because for the first time in her life she felt at home.
