Halfway Out Of The Dark // victorianlizardx
He'd put it on random at first. He didn't care where he went so long as it wasn't New York or London. Or Earth. It was best just to steer clear of that entire solar system. He landed at an intergalactic bar the first time around. Timelords couldn't usually be affected by alcohol. But take something with ginger first and it worked just fine.
He knew River wouldn't approve, but what did it matter, she was gone. They were all gone. Amy and Rory were dead. Living their lives in the past but for all intents and purposes, dead. River was off to the library and he'd never see her again. So screw what they might think. They were gone and he was alone.
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He'd taken two bottles back onto the Tardis and managed to plot a course back into the vortex. He wasn't sure what he actually had. One was black, the other; a bright purple. It tasted sweet, like liquified jelly babies. The black one was bitter and strong. Despite the disapproval he felt from the Tardis, he continued to drink.
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The second place was a planet with a green sky and yellow grass. They were being terrorised by an Overlord who was working with evil robots. Or robots working with an evil Overland. In the end it didn't matter. Because despite his best efforts, a lot of people ended up dying. It was like it didn't matter how much he tried, he always failed in the end.
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He didn't remembered the third place, because he didn't go outside. He ventured deep into the Tardis, clad in only a pair of tardis blue pyajamas and a ratty dressing gown. There were no sounds of laughter coming from the Library or swimming pool. No signs on the doors telling him to knock. No premade fish fingers and custard sitting on a kitchen bench.
No Amy, no Rory and no River. No Ponds at all.
Was his life always doomed to be this way? Pick up a companion, show them the universe and then they leave. Sometimes by choice, sometimes against their will and sometimes...sometimes they died. And it was his fault, he knew that. But he'd known Amy and Rory since the start of his regeneration.
He'd known them for 300 plus years. He thought he'd finally found a family again.And then with River, here was a fellow time lord. Well..lady. Well..part time lord. But she could regenerate and she was so, so smart.
They made him feel loved when he felt he couldn't be, didn't deserve to be; anymore. It had been so long since he'd had a family, he'd forgotton what it was like. And now he knew and the pain was all too raw.
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He didn't know when the last time he ate was. He wasn't even sure where he was or how long he'd been there. When he wandered the Tardis it was like he wasn't even in control of his legs. Wherever he was now it was comfortable.
He might stay here for awhile.
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The Tardis landed, it crooned and cried. But it's pilot couldn't hear her anymore.