pairing ᝰ.ᐟ !toxicwonbin x !fem reader
▸ genre ᝰ.ᐟ Angst, toxic lovers
▸ features ᝰ.ᐟ hanni- njs, riize, tbz-eric lesra-chaewon
︓︒︑∘∗✧∘︑︒⚬∙︓⋅⠄✯∘⠄✧︓︒∘∗✧∘︑︒ ︓︒︑∘
it was awkward when wonbin called—almost unbearable. neither of you knew what to say, the silence stretching thin between you, heavy with everything left unsaid. two months apart, and all you could manage was a weak, obligatory “happy new year.” you hated it. hated how distant he felt. hated how the words felt empty, how they barely scratched the surface of everything you wanted to say but couldn’t. if only you could rewind time, find something—anything—worth saying. but maybe there was nothing left. maybe this was all that remained.
you thought he had finally gotten his head in the game, finally decided to fix what was broken. but you never got your hopes up—not for wonbin, not anymore. still, it was frustrating, the timing almost cruel, because there was another guy on your couch. the same guy who kissed you that very night. and now, somehow, you were back here, tangled up in wonbin again. how were you supposed to tell him? tell him that the same wonbin he was just giving you advice about had found his way back into your life.
you scratched your head, letting out a quiet sigh before deciding to go back out and check on eric. he looked up as you stepped into the room, eyes flickering with curiosity.
“what was that about?” he asked, his tone careful—but you could tell he already had a guess.
you feigned confusion. “what?”
he frowned slightly. “nothing, you just kinda rushed to your room,” he said with a small laugh, but there was a hint of something else beneath it—curiosity, maybe even suspicion.
you forced a smile. “i really don’t know where hanni is. i hope she’s with chaewon or something. i don’t have her location either.”
“oof, good luck,” eric replied, a hint of amusement in his voice. “wanna go get something to eat or do something? it can be anything, i just don’t wanna linger in your apartment all day.”
you nodded, feeling a small sense of relief. “yeah, that’s fine.”
you both stepped outside, the cool air hitting your face as you made your way down the street. eric walked just a little too close, and every time his arm brushed against yours, you felt a flutter in your chest. it was ridiculous, really. you tried to ignore it—tried to focus on the fact that he was just a friend, just someone passing the time with you. but every time he looked at you, his gaze lingered for just a second longer than necessary.
“so, what are you in the mood for?” he asked, his voice low, as if he was trying to sound casual, but there was something in his tone that made you hesitate. maybe it was the way his eyes seemed to be waiting for you to say something more, or maybe it was just the way he stood a little too close.
you cleared your throat, forcing a smile. “honestly, i don’t know. anything sounds good.” you didn’t dare look at him for too long, knowing the warmth in your cheeks would give you away. but you could feel his gaze on you, and it made your pulse quicken in a way you didn’t want to admit. “we’ll figure it out.”
“you’re so quiet today, y/n,” eric said, his voice teasing, though there was an edge of curiosity to it.
“what, i flustered you a lot last night, hm?” he added, a smirk tugging at the corner of his lips.
you rolled your eyes, feeling your cheeks warm. “stop it, i’m just thinking about what to eat.”
“nahh, you’re thinking about me,” he replied, his tone playful, but there was something in his eyes that made your stomach flip.
you trilled your lips, trying to brush it off. “keep dreaming, pretty boy.”
“do you want boba? and then we can eat actual food,” he suggested, raising an eyebrow as if it were a real compromise.
“nah, i think i want like… maybe ice cream. not much protein right now,” you replied, your mind still spinning a bit from his teasing.
he smiled, a hint of amusement dancing in his gaze. “y/n, you need to eat real food.”
“i think i want pizza,” you added, glancing at him.
eric groaned dramatically, throwing his head back. “ughhh… is that all you nyc people eat??”
you smiled, amused. “i’m not from nyc, and no, but it’s the closest thing within walking distance, so take it or leave it.”
he let out a laugh, shaking his head. “fine, sure. but if it’s mid, i’m blaming you forever.”
after grabbing your pizza, the two of you found a small table near the window. the air between you felt lighter now, the earlier teasing settling into something more comfortable. eric stole a bite from your slice without warning, earning a glare from you.
“seriously?” you scoffed, watching him chew like he hadn’t just committed a crime.
“what?” he said through a mouthful of food. “just making sure yours isn’t better than mine.”
just as you were finishing up, your phone buzzed on the table. you glanced at the screen—hanni.
another text came in before you could respond.
hanni: tell me you’re not with him.
your stomach twisted, fingers hesitating over the keyboard. you knew exactly who she meant.
uhh no.. if I was I would’ve told you abt it. im eating with eric I
:the real question is where are you??
:and you didnt tell me ….?
hanni: well i didnt know you left with Eric
eric looked up from his pizza. “who, hanni?”
you nodded, still staring at your screen. “yeah, she was with chaewon the whole time. i didn’t even know.”
he wiped his hands with a napkin before leaning back. “oh, she finally texted you? i was starting to think she forgot about you.”
he grinned, then gestured toward your phone. “what’s she saying?”
you hesitated for a second before turning the screen toward him. his eyes flickered over the messages, and he let out a low whistle. “ouch. she thinks you’re with wonbin, doesn’t she?”
you sighed, locking your phone. “yeah.”
eric shook his head. “guess i should text her and let her know you’re safe and sound with me, her favorite person.”
you rolled your eyes but couldn’t help the small smile forming. “oh yeah, she’s gonna love that.”
you didn’t want to be rude, but eric was nothing compared to wonbin. what you had with him was fleeting—a connection that barely stretched past a month, built on easy conversations and harmless teasing. it wasn’t deep, not like what you had with wonbin. with wonbin, there was history. there were years of inside jokes, late-night calls, and moments that left you breathless for reasons you couldn’t even explain. eric didn’t make your heart ache in the same way, didn’t have the same pull that kept you coming back even when you swore you wouldn’t.
and yet, he carried himself like he did. like he was better than wonbin. it was in the way he talked about him, in the way he never said his name without some hint of disdain. as if he thought he knew what was best for you. as if he believed he could take wonbin’s place. but that’s not what you wanted. you weren’t looking for a replacement. you weren’t looking for anything at all. eric was fun, easy, uncomplicated—but that was the problem. nothing about you and wonbin had ever been easy, and maybe that was why you still clung to the idea of him.
wonbin wasn’t the best, not even close. he made mistakes, hurt you in ways you hated admitting. but despite everything, you still believed in him. maybe it was foolish, maybe it was naive, but there was a part of you that wasn’t ready to let go. and no matter how much eric tried—how much he acted like he could be what wonbin wasn’t—he would never be wonbin.
after you two left, the air between you shifted. the usual lighthearted teasing was gone, replaced by a silence that felt heavier with each passing second. neither of you spoke, the only sounds coming from the occasional passing car and the dull hum of the city around you. you kept your eyes on your phone, scrolling aimlessly, looking for anything to fill the quiet. but then you saw it—a story posted by someone you vaguely knew, a video of you and eric together. the caption wasn’t anything damning, just a simple cute with a few emojis, but it was enough to make your stomach drop.
you felt him glance over at your screen before you even had the chance to lock it. his steps slowed beside you, and before you could think of a way to brush it off, he spoke. “what are we?”
your breath caught for a second. his voice was calm, too calm, but there was something in the way he said it—like he’d been holding the question in for a while. you swallowed, suddenly feeling suffocated. “eric—”
“no, really,” he cut in, turning to face you now. his expression was unreadable, but his eyes were searching for something in yours. “because i don’t think we’re just friends. not with the way you look at me sometimes. not with what happened last night.”
you exhaled sharply, looking away. “last night was a mistake.” the words felt wrong the moment they left your mouth, but you said them anyway. because it was easier. because if you didn’t, you’d have to confront the feelings you’d been trying so hard to ignore.
he let out a bitter laugh, shaking his head. “right. a mistake.” he nodded to himself, jaw clenching like he was trying to keep himself together. “you know, i knew this would happen. i knew you weren’t over him, but i still—” he cut himself off, running a hand through his hair in frustration.
you stared at the ground, guilt gnawing at you, but you couldn’t bring yourself to say anything. not when you didn’t even have an answer. not when you knew, deep down, that he was right.
“all that advice i gave you last night about wonbin,” eric started, his voice quieter now, less playful. “it was just me saying that you need to get rid of him and come to me. but it was selfish.”
you stopped walking. your body moved before you could even think, your feet planting firmly on the pavement as you turned to face him, narrow-eyed.
of course. of course, it always came back to wonbin. no matter how far you tried to step away, someone always dragged his name back into the conversation, like a ghost that refused to be forgotten. even now, even with eric standing right in front of you, with the tension of last night still hanging in the air—wonbin was there. stuck between you like an unspoken barrier.
your fingers curled into your sleeves as you let out a slow breath. “why are we even talking about him?” your voice was quiet, but there was an edge to it. sharp, tired. “he’s not here.”
eric let out a humorless chuckle, shaking his head. “yeah, but he never really has to be, does he?”
“stop, just stop,” you said, your voice tight, teetering on the edge of something raw. you didn’t mean to sound harsh, but the words came out sharper than intended, cutting through the air between you. your chest felt heavy, frustration pressing against your ribs, and you hated how easily you got overwhelmed—how it always led to you being mistakenly rude. “literally just stop.”
eric’s eyes widened, his face momentarily flickering with surprise, but it quickly shifted into something more defensive. “you’re seriously gonna shut me down like that?” he asked, his voice sharp. “i get it, you’re upset, but you can’t just pretend like he doesn’t exist. he’s still all you talk about.”
you could feel your blood boiling, a heat spreading across your chest. “i don’t need to hear another thing about him. especially from you,” you snapped, your tone brittle. “you don’t know him.”
“yeah, i don’t,” eric shot back, a bitter edge creeping into his voice. “but you know what? maybe that’s the problem. maybe that’s why you can’t let him go. because all you ever do is make excuses for him, for everything he does. you’re so busy protecting him that you can’t even see what’s right in front of you.”
you froze, the words landing like a punch. “what are you talking about?”
“i’m talking about me,” he said, his eyes hardening, frustration leaking into his voice. “i’m here, y/n. i’ve been here. i didn’t disappear on you. but you keep letting him take up all this space in your head. it’s like i don’t even matter.”
the weight of his words settled on your chest, the silence stretching longer between you. eric’s face softened, just slightly, but the hurt in his voice was impossible to ignore. “i’m not asking you to forget about him,” he added, quieter now. “but you can’t keep using him as a reason to shut me out.”
“you literally kissed me knowing i was already talking to someone…?” you blurted, the anger and confusion making your voice tremble slightly.
eric’s jaw tightened, and he looked at you with a mix of frustration and disbelief. “i wasn’t thinking about that in the moment, y/n,” he muttered. “you made it clear that you weren’t with him anymore. so why should it matter?”
you stared at him for a beat, the weight of his words hitting harder than you expected. “how was I ever shutting you out?” you shot back, your voice quieter but firm, trying to make sense of it all. “i never pushed you away, eric. i didn’t ask for any of this to be messy.”
he sighed, running a hand through his hair, clearly exasperated. “you’re always so caught up in him—always. i’m just trying to be here, to be with you, but it feels like i don’t even exist when he’s involved.”
you felt a sharp pang in your chest, but you couldn’t let that distract you. “i just didn’t want to get caught up with you and then have wonbin come back, confused and hurt. i didn’t want him to see that i moved on without any communication. and i didn’t want to be that person, eric. i didn’t want to be that person who jumps from one thing to the next without giving it time.”
eric’s expression softened for a moment, but the hurt was still there. “so, because of him… you couldn’t let yourself even try with me?” he asked, his voice quieter now, edged with frustration and something else—resignation.
you nodded slowly, swallowing the knot in your throat. “yeah,” you said, barely above a whisper. “that’s exactly it.”
You closed your eyes, feeling the weight of everything press down on you, all the frustration and confusion swirling in your head. “I’m tired of everyone,” you muttered under your breath, your voice barely audible. The words felt like a release, but they didn’t make the heaviness any lighter.
Eric’s gaze softened a little, though the frustration was still there. “I get it,” he said, his tone quieter now. “But you can’t keep pretending like this isn’t messing with you.”
You shook your head, cutting him off. “I don’t want to argue with you anymore. Just leave it alone. I don’t need your advice, and I don’t need you telling me what I should feel. It’s just… too much.” You ran a hand through your hair, trying to push down the anxiety that crept up.
Eric took a step back, holding his hands up in mock surrender. “Alright, alright. I’m not trying to make this worse. I get it. No more arguing.” His voice was softer now, but there was a quiet tension still lingering between you two.
You let out a sigh, a mixture of relief and frustration. “We don’t need a label. Ok?” You looked him in the eye, hoping he understood the finality in your tone. You didn’t want to complicate things any more than they already were.
Eric nodded slowly, his expression unreadable for a moment. “Yeah,” he said quietly. “I can live with that.”
There was a brief silence before you both turned and began walking in different directions, the tension still hanging, but now with an unspoken understanding. Neither of you said anything else, the air between you thick with the words left unspoken, but somehow, it felt like it was enough for now.
But of all times, you got a call.
You looked up at Eric, guilt flickering across your face. “I’m so sorry,” you said quickly, already feeling the unease of the situation. “I have to go. Stay here for a second.”
Eric raised an eyebrow, his expression unreadable, but he didn’t say anything. You didn’t wait for him to respond, quickly stepping away to take the call. The tension from the conversation still hung in the air, but now, there was something else—something unsettling about the timing.
You rushed to the side of the building, pressing the phone to your ear. “Uh, hi? Hello? What do you need, Wonbin?”
There was a long pause before he responded, his voice a little shaky. “Oh, um… I was— I— are you okay??”
You frowned, already feeling the frustration bubbling up. “What? Don’t waste my time, please. Just say what you need.”
“No, I’m being serious,” he said quickly, his tone softer now. “How are you? I’m just asking.”
You let out a deep breath, trying to keep your patience intact. “I’m fine. Unless you have anything else to say, why are you calling me?”
There was another pause, the kind that made your stomach twist in anticipation. Then, his voice came through again, quieter this time—almost hesitant. “I just… I miss you.”
Your grip on the phone tightened.
“I know I messed up,” Wonbin continued, his voice carrying a rawness you weren’t used to hearing from him. “And I don’t expect you to care, but I need to say it. I need to say I’m sorry.”
You stayed silent, staring at the ground as he exhaled shakily.
“I hate how we left things,” he admitted, the words rushed, like he was afraid you’d hang up before he could finish. “I hate not talking to you. I hate knowing you’re out there, moving on, probably laughing at something someone else said, and I’m just—” He cut himself off, as if embarrassed by his own confession. “I don’t know how to do this without you.”
Your heart clenched, but you forced yourself to stay indifferent. “Wonbin…”
“I know,” he said quickly, almost desperate. “I know I don’t deserve another chance. I know I don’t have the right to ask for anything from you. But can you just… can you just talk to me? Just for a little while?”
Wonbin let out a shaky breath, then his voice dropped—low, desperate, but laced with something darker, something familiar.
“You don’t get it, do you?” he muttered. “You’re everything to me, Y/N. Everything. And without you, I feel like I don’t even exist.”
Your stomach twisted, but he kept going, his words picking up speed.
“I wake up, and you’re not there. I go to sleep, and I can’t stop thinking about you. I see you in my head, hear your voice, but you’re gone. And it’s killing me. Is that what you wanted? To leave me like this? To make me feel like nothing?”
You gritted your teeth, but your silence only seemed to push him further.
“No one understands me like you do,” he continued, his tone dipping into something almost pleading. “No one loves me the way you did. And I know you still care, Y/N. I know you do. Because if you didn’t, you wouldn’t have picked up. You wouldn’t still be listening.”
Your grip on the phone tightened. You could feel your heartbeat pounding in your ears, your breath quickening. You had heard this before—every time he messed up, every time you tried to pull away. The guilt, the weight of responsibility he always pushed onto you.
“I know I hurt you,” he whispered, softer now, like he was reeling you back in. “But you hurt me too. You’re hurting me now. And I don’t think I can take it anymore.”
A sharp, cold fear shot through your veins. Your fight-or-flight instincts kicked in before you could even think. With a rush of adrenaline, you hung up, your fingers trembling as you pulled the phone away from your ear.
Your chest heaved, your mind spinning, but you didn’t call back. You didn’t text. Because for the first time, you weren’t letting him pull you under.
The moment you hung up, your phone buzzed again—Wonbinn 💕 (1) Calling…
You stared at the screen, your breath still uneven, your body frozen. Then it stopped. A second later—Wonbinn 💕 (1) Calling… again. And again.
You hesitated, then swiped to decline. But not even five seconds passed before he was calling back.
This time, you answered, pressing the phone to your ear but saying nothing.
“Y/N,” his voice came through immediately, urgent, almost breathless. “Don’t do that. Don’t hang up on me.”
Your fingers curled into your palm. “Wonbin—”
“No, just—listen.” His voice was shaking now, but it wasn’t weakness—it was determination. “I know what you’re thinking. That I’m just saying this to guilt you, to pull you back in. But I swear, Y/N, I mean it. I’m done playing games. I need you.”
You swallowed, gripping the phone tighter.
“I’ll fix everything,” he promised, his voice more desperate now. “I’ll prove it to you, I’ll change. Whatever you want, I’ll do it. Just don’t shut me out.”
The worst part? He sounded so genuine. Like he actually believed what he was saying. Like he actually thought he could fix this, fix you, fix the mess he made.
But you knew better. You had heard this before. The promises, the desperation—it was always the same.
Your voice came out quieter than you expected. “Wonbin, you can’t fix this.”
“Yes, I can,” he snapped, his composure slipping. “You’re not even giving me a chance. I can be better for you, Y/N. I will be. But you have to let me.”
You squeezed your eyes shut, your heart pounding.
Then, before you could think—before you could let him pull you under again—you hung up.
you stood there, arms crossed, your nails digging into your sleeves. your phone felt heavy in your grip, wonbin’s name still lingering on the screen like a stain you couldn’t scrub off. you didn’t know why you picked up. you shouldn’t have picked up.
eric was watching you, waiting. his patience wasn’t patronizing, but it made you feel exposed—like he could see right through the walls you were desperately trying to hold up.
“you okay over here?” his voice was steady, but you didn’t miss the way his brows furrowed slightly, how his gaze flickered down to your phone.
you exhaled through your nose, shoving it into your pocket. “yeah.”
eric didn’t move, didn’t look away. “y/n.”
your jaw clenched. “i said i’m fine.”
he inhaled sharply, like he was debating pushing you. but instead, he took a step closer, hands slipping into his pockets. “so he called you.”
you swallowed hard, ignoring the way your stomach twisted. “why does it matter?”
“because you look like you just saw a ghost or something.”
you scoffed, shaking your head. “don’t be dramatic.”
“am i?” eric tilted his head, his voice calm, but there was something underneath it—something like frustration, something like care. “y/n, you’re literally shaking.”
you flinched, glancing down at your hands before quickly tucking them into your arms. “i’m not.”
he let out a short breath, looking away for a second before stepping even closer. “look, you don’t have to tell me what he said. but don’t stand here and pretend like you’re fine when you’re not.”
your throat tightened. you weren’t used to this—to someone not letting it slide, to someone calling you out when you tried to shove everything down.
but old habits died hard.
“it’s not a big deal,” you said, voice flat. “he called, he said some things, i hung up. that’s it.”
eric studied you, his jaw flexing. “did he say he missed you?”
you swallowed. “does it matter?”
he let out a bitter chuckle, running a hand down his face. “god, y/n. yes, it matters. because every time he does this, you get stuck in your head and—” he sighed, shaking his head. “i just don’t want you to fall for it again.”
your eyes flashed. “fall for what?”
the words cut through the air, sharp and unfiltered.
you hated how much they stung.
you hated how much you knew he was right.
but you weren’t going to admit that.
instead, you forced a cold laugh, shifting on your feet. “this is exactly why i didn’t want to say anything.”
eric’s expression hardened, but there was something else in his eyes—something sad.
“then don’t,” he murmured. “but don’t expect me to pretend like i don’t see what’s happening.”
your chest felt tight, like all the air had been knocked out of you. you were exhausted. of wonbin. of this conversation. of yourself.
you closed your eyes for a second, inhaling deeply. “i don’t want to do this right now,” you muttered.
eric was quiet for a moment. then, finally, he exhaled, his voice softer. “okay.”
he took a step back, giving you space, but he didn’t walk away.
and maybe it was the fact that he wasn’t pushing anymore, that he wasn’t demanding answers or trying to force you to open up.
but this time, when you followed—it actually felt like a choice.
the walk to the park was silent, but not the comfortable kind. it was heavy. suffocating. the weight of wonbin’s words still coiled around your ribs like barbed wire, digging deeper every time you inhaled.
“i’m nothing without you.”
you hated how those words stuck to you, how they made your stomach twist in a way that wasn’t entirely anger. because wasn’t that what you always wanted? for him to care? for him to need you? and now that he was saying it, now that he sounded broken over the phone, all you could feel was dread.
you didn’t realize you were shaking until eric’s hand was on yours again, steady, grounding. he didn’t say anything—he didn’t have to. his fingers just curled around yours, squeezing, keeping you here.
it wasn’t enough. nothing was.
by the time you reached the park, the late afternoon air had settled into a crisp chill, the sky dull and grey like it was waiting for something to break. maybe it was waiting for you to break.
you sat down on the bench, exhaling sharply, resting your elbows on your knees. eric sat beside you, not too close, but close enough that his warmth cut through the cold.
“so,” he started, voice low, controlled. “you wanna tell me what exactly he said to you?”
you hesitated, picking at the skin around your nails. “you already know how it goes.”
you swallowed, the lump in your throat only getting heavier.
“he said he misses me,” you started, voice barely above a whisper. “that he’s nothing without me. that he wants to fix everything for me.”
eric let out a sharp, humorless laugh, shaking his head. “for you,” he echoed, leaning back against the bench. “right. because now he gives a shit.”
your jaw clenched. “he’s always given a shit, eric.”
“has he?” his voice was sharper now, words laced with something unreadable. “because from what i remember, he let you spend two months picking yourself up alone while he just—what? sat around waiting for you to come crawling back?”
you didn’t respond. because wasn’t that exactly what had happened?
eric sighed, dragging a hand through his hair. “look, i get it,” he said, voice softer now. “i get why you’d want to believe him. but, y/n, he’s doing it again. the same thing. making you feel like you’re the one who has to fix him.”
you inhaled sharply, the words hitting a little too deep. because you knew. you knew this was how wonbin operated. you knew that every apology, every plea, every i need you was just another way to drag you back into him.
but then why did it still feel like a knife to the chest?
you let out a slow, shaky breath, pressing the heels of your palms into your eyes. “i don’t know what to do,” you admitted, voice thick.
“yes, you do,” eric said, and it wasn’t patronizing, wasn’t dismissive. it was just a fact. “you just don’t want to do it.”
you dropped your hands, staring at the ground.
eric shifted beside you, his shoulder brushing against yours. “y/n,” he said, quieter now. “you’re allowed to let go.”
the words hit you like a punch to the gut.
because deep down, you knew you weren’t holding onto wonbin because you still loved him. you were holding on because you didn’t know who you were without him.
eric must’ve noticed the way your breath hitched, because his voice softened even more. “it’s okay to be scared,” he murmured. “but you can’t let him keep doing this to you.”
you shook your head, trying to brush it off, but the tightness in your chest wouldn’t let you breathe normally. “i’m not scared,” you repeated, though even you didn’t believe the words.
eric raised an eyebrow, a small smirk tugging at the corner of his mouth. “uh, right,” he said, but there was no humor behind it, just a touch of disbelief, like he knew exactly what you were trying to convince yourself of.
you avoided his eyes, staring off into the distance, the wind picking up slightly, brushing your hair around your face. your mind raced, too many thoughts colliding at once—wonbin’s words, his voice, the way he sounded so lost, and the weight of it all sinking deeper into your bones.
“give me your phone,” eric suddenly said, his tone firm but gentle.
you looked at him, blinking. “um, why?”
“because,” he said, eyes narrowing slightly, “he needs to stop bothering you.”
your stomach churned at the thought of handing it over. why was it so hard to let go? “no, it’s fine,” you replied quickly, trying to sound casual, but it came out strained, like you were trying to convince yourself more than him.
eric sighed, leaning back against the bench, his hand rubbing the back of his neck. “sure, but don’t let it get you down,” he muttered, his words heavy with something you couldn’t quite place. sadness? frustration? maybe a little bit of both.
you looked at him, feeling the weight of his concern, the unspoken frustration in his eyes. “i’m fine,” you said, voice low, but the lie was so thin, you could feel it unraveling with every second.
the phone vibrated in your hand, cutting through the heavy silence that had settled between you two. you glanced at the screen, and your heart skipped a beat when you saw hanni’s name. the familiar warmth of her contact brought a momentary comfort, a break from the storm of everything else weighing you down.
you smiled instinctively, not realizing how much you needed that small piece of normalcy until now. the tension that had been building within you since the call with wonbin seemed to loosen, just for a moment.
“who’s that?” eric asked, his voice softer now, a slight curiosity in his tone.
you held up the phone and showed him. “it’s hanni,” you said, feeling a little lighter.
eric leaned in to look at the screen, eyes narrowing slightly. “oh,” he said, then let out a quiet laugh. “that’s good, at least you’ve got someone else checking in on you.”
you couldn’t help but chuckle, though it was weak. “yeah, i guess.”
but before you could tap the screen to answer, eric’s gaze lingered a little longer than usual. there was a hint of something—uncertainty?—in his eyes. he pulled back slightly, allowing you to focus on the phone call, but his energy felt different, heavier.
you swiped to answer, trying to shake off the feeling that lingered between you two.
“hanni?” you answered, trying to sound like everything was fine, though you could still hear the tremble in your voice.
“hey!” hanni’s voice came through, bright and familiar, but you could hear the undertone of concern. “how are you holding up?”
you took a deep breath, glancing at eric briefly before turning your attention back to the call. “i’m okay,” you lied, just a little. “i’ve been better, but… i’m getting through it.”
hanni’s tone softened immediately. “You okay?”
you bit your lip, heart sinking. “no, it’s fine. i’m with eric right now.”
you could almost feel hanni’s frown through the phone. “ohh youre fine right?” she asked, her voice cautious, but you knew her too well—she was worried.
“yea!” you said quickly, glancing at eric again, who was now looking down at his hands, giving you space. “yeah, everything’s fine.”
there was a long pause from hanni, and then she sighed. “Well if something is bothering you, tell me. But I’ll be home later!! Bye bye!”
you could feel the weight of her concern, and it was hard to brush off, even though you tried. “thanks, hanni. i will.”
after a few more words of reassurance, you hung up, the smile fading from your face almost instantly. the reality of everything—the call with wonbin, the tension with eric, and the confusion swirling inside you—settled back into place.
eric was still quiet, and you felt the heaviness return, though it was no longer from him. you swallowed hard, unsure of what to say next.
You stared at your screen for a moment after hanging up, the call log still open, Hanni’s name sitting there like a reminder of how much time had passed. Seventh grade felt like a lifetime ago, but somehow, she had been with you through all of it—every high, every low, every mistake, every heartbreak.
She was there when you had your first crush, teasing you relentlessly but still hyping you up like your personal cheerleader. She was there when you had your first heartbreak, sitting with you in silence when words weren’t enough, passing you tissues like it was just another Tuesday. She was there when you met Wonbin, and she was still here now, after everything.
It made your stomach sink a little. How many times had she told you to leave him? How many times had you brushed her off, insisting things would get better, that he wasn’t as bad as she thought? You wondered how exhausting it must be for her, watching you go in circles, always there to catch you when you fell, never asking for anything in return.
Maybe that’s why she didn’t push as much anymore. Maybe she knew you would come to her when you were ready. Maybe she was just waiting, waiting for you to finally realize what she had known all along.
And yet, even now, after all of it, she still called like nothing had changed, like she wasn’t tired of picking up the pieces. “Have the house ready when I’m homeee!!” Like you weren’t a mess. Like you weren’t making the same mistakes. Like you were still just the two kids who promised to have each other’s backs, no matter what.
You swallowed, blinking the sudden blur from your eyes. Some friendships weren’t meant to be tested the way you had tested yours with Hanni. And yet, she was still here. You only hoped you wouldn’t push her away before it was too late.
Eric chuckled, nudging your shoulder lightly. “She loves you.”
You rolled your eyes, feeling a warmth creep up your neck. “Yeah, yeah, I know… too much.”
“She ever get tired of saving your ass?” he teased, but there was something softer in his voice, something that made you shift uncomfortably.
You sighed, looking down at your hands. “If she does, she never says it.”
Eric studied you for a moment, the playfulness in his expression dimming just a little. “She’s a real one,” he said, more serious now. “Not everyone sticks around like that.”
You swallowed, nodding. “I know.”
eric watched you carefully, his gaze steady as the golden light of the setting sun flickered in your eyes. daylight savings had passed, and the late sunset stretched the day longer than it felt. it was like time had slowed down just enough for this moment to exist.
“y/n, i know you don’t feel the same,” he started, voice softer than usual. “but i love you. whether it’s romantically or platonically, you’re loved—by me, by hanni, by chaewon, by all your friends. so don’t ever let me see you crying over some guy again. it’s not worth it, okay?”
you didn’t respond. you just sat there, staring at him, letting the words sink in. you weren’t sure why, but something about them made your chest feel tight—like he had peeled back a layer of you that you hadn’t realized was even there.
eric rubbed the back of his neck, letting out a breathy chuckle. “like i said, you don’t have to love me back. but i’ve known you for a whole ass month—wait, no, sorry.” he paused, laughing at himself. “two months.” he shook his head, smiling. “two months, and you’ve already been the best person i’ve met all year.”
“y/n, i really mean it,” he said quietly, like the words were finally catching up to him, something deeper than his usual teasing tone. “you don’t know how much you mean to me. and yeah, i get it, you’re not ready for anything like that with me. but just… just don’t sell yourself short. you’ve been through too much. you deserve better than that.”
“i’m serious, y/n,” eric added, his tone softer, almost a whisper now. “you deserve all the good things in the world. and i know you’re scared, but i’m here. i don’t care what kind of shit you’ve gone through. i’ll be here, whether it’s to be your friend or… whatever else you need. just don’t ever think you’re alone in this. you’re way stronger than you give yourself credit for.”
you hugged him, “thank you,” he froze for a moment, clearly not expecting it, but then he gently wrapped his arms around you, pulling you in close. the warmth of his embrace was comforting, like he was holding you together in a way you didn’t realize you needed. the hug felt different from the others you’d shared—it wasn’t just a gesture of affection, it was a quiet promise. a promise that, even in the mess of everything, you wouldn’t have to face it alone.
“you don’t have to thank me, y/n,” he whispered, his voice low and steady. “i’m just telling you the truth.” he held you a little tighter, as if he didn’t want to let go, and for a moment, you didn’t want to either. you didn’t want to think about all the chaos or the uncertainty. all you wanted was to stay right here, wrapped up in the softness of this moment, and let the world keep spinning on its own.
you pulled back just slightly, enough to look him in the eyes. “but… i’m really glad you said all of that,” you said, your voice barely above a whisper, still a little shaken from the weight of his words. “i needed to hear it more than you know.”
he smiled, a small, genuine curve of his lips. “i’m glad it helped,”
she glanced at the time on her phone, her brow furrowing slightly. “well, i’m gonna head home now. it’s 3:00 and i think chaewon’s coming over around 4? i should probably clean up, or you can always help me out if you want—”
he cut her off with a playful grin. “uhh, i’ll pass.”
“what? why?” she raised an eyebrow, clearly surprised.
“you literally asked me if i wanted to clean. um, no thanks,” he shrugged dramatically.
“lame,” she teased, rolling her eyes.
“hey, i’ll see you tomorrow, though,” he said, stepping back as if he were ready to leave.
she smirked, “yeah, yeah, i’ll see you then.”
