I don't know that I had context for being trans until I moved to Rochester, New York, to pursue my dream of acting, and started going to drag shows. I had never seen a transsexual before, and I didn't yet fully understand my own identity. The drag queens there called me a tranny and I was like, "What's that?" I had feminine behavior throughout my childhood and was reprimanded for it. I was told, "Toughen up and go play in the dirt with the boys." But when I looked at my mother's clothes, and tried on her shoes, I saw myself in them. That summer I experienced my first Pride in Rochester. For the first time, I felt like I was living free. I was allowed to blossom into who I was, and I realized I was trans. At the same time, I felt like I was failing my family. My parents always expected me to go to college and I was working at Applebee's. I knew they'd never accept me as trans. After I came out to my mother at 17, I ran away from home and lived with a friend. We come from a highly religious family and she could not accept it. It was devastating and I was depressed. But looking back on this now I realize my mother gave me a gift. To be able to explain to people today that she is a black Christian mother who loves me for who I am, it's an extremely powerful message. I made a naïve decision and I joined the Navy. I figured I would use the G.I. Bill to pay for any college I wanted. I dreamed of going to Julliard to study music and acting. This was 1998 and I was only 17 years old. I had to get a permission slip from my parents. When I went to the physical, I forgot that my toenails were painted. I also had short, curly blonde hair as a black male person. I thought, OK, they're probably not going to let me through. But I celebrated my 18th birthday in basic training. I don't think I was aware of what I was getting myself into. The environment wasn't welcoming for me. There were rumors swirling about me [being gay]. I was teased. I was harassed. After six months, I went into the captain's office and asked to be discharged. There's a clause in the military that if you don't adapt to military life within 180 days, you can be discharged. I left on an uncharacterized discharge. It wasn't honorable; it wasn't dishonorable. I didn't get my G.I. Bill...
