Hi, Heather. I'm here because you are in flomation's helper box. My bf is a great guy and he makes me really happy. One day he asked me what's one thing I don't like about him. I said, he's a little repetitive. Now every time we talk he's on the verge of breaking down or crying and apologizing repeatedly. I don't know what to do and I just feel really bad and helpless. Any advice?
Hi love! Sorry I didn’t see this earlier through mobile.
This is a tough situation that you’ve gotten yourself into - I’m sure that when you originally told him, to you it didn’t seem like a big deal, because to you it likely isn’t. Everyone has their own quirks and when you’re in a relationship, these can become more obvious. This doesn’t affect the way you view the person to much usually, and you roll with it because their positive qualities far outweigh their negative ones. Unfortunately something that may seem tiny to you, can really linger on someones mind. Its the tricky things with feelings and emotions and being human.
i think you should sit down with your boyfriend - maybe after making him dinner, giving him a small gift, or doing something for him that he’s been wanting to do and let him know truthfully how much you adore all his other traits, and him as a person. Also let him know how deeply sorry you are for making him worry about how he is repetitive and stress how it’s not necessarily always a bad thing; hes probably really good at making sure that plans are figured out ahead of time, catching things that you may have missed otherwise, or making sure he’s really well put together/clean (these are all assumptions of course, but if you’re with him he’s likely got lots of good things too, yeah? (: ) The best bet is to reassure him that you really enjoy being with him and you’re sorry for making him feel upset about his quirk.
Also, load on the lovin’ (whatever you’re comfortable with, obvs) because I think it’s easy to get stuck in thinking that guys can handle things a lot better then is actually true, and they're often taught to not react on their emotions quite the same way women-identified folk are allowed. Best of luck!
