V3 Characters as Things I’ve Actually Had to Say on/about This Blog
Kaede: I will pay people money to stop telling me they’re going to fuck my piano. We both suffer from PTSD now.
Shuichi: *thinking about life’s latest failure* I am why we can’t have nice things...
Ouma: Lots of illegal things took place when I was there. Too many to count. I would be willing to give a short TEDx talk on the issue, however.
Kaito: I was told that the last time I got drunk, I started crying and had to be consoled because of Pluto’s planetary status. This surprised no one.
Maki: I swear to god, if one more person sends me anything about the pacer test, I’m deleting this blog and I’m taking the rest of you to hell with me.
Rantaro: So many people in this world have talent, which is great for them, but like... how’d they find out about it? Did they just wake up and be like “today I’m going to water ski!” and at the first lesson the instructor knighted them with their skis or some shit?
Himiko: *after the end of the game* You are underestimating my ability to be a hero. If the world needed to be saved after like... 8 P.M., that would just be it. That’s bed time. Justice can wait.
Tenko: Today my roommate told me she wished she was bi because girls were hot and she just wanted to date and I honestly didn’t know how to tell her.
Angie: My hobbies this season of art fight involve not fighting back because of the pressure and not attacking first because of anxiety. So I’m having a lovely time!
Gonta: Sometimes, strangers on here tell me that they like me. I’m not ready for that emotional responsibility, but I do hope they have a really great day!
Kiibo: I bought a waffle maker and named him George because everyone knows the first step of making waffles is being polite to the waffle overlord.
Korekiyo: You’re not allowed to say that. I just cleansed this place. I had a seance and everything.
Miu: Everyone’s always asking about so-and-so’s titties. Like? Fuck if I know? I care about mine exclusively, and they are magnificent.
Tsumugi: Well, well, well... if it isn’t the consequences of my own actions.
Ryoma: If any one person sends me anything about the FitnessGram Pacer test, I will murder you with nothing but a baseball bat, dental floss, and a rubber chicken.
Kirumi: My alternative occupation to college is being the exhausted friend that has to shepherd a bunch of drunk people like fucking ducklings.
