It started with a spare notebook. Does it not always? I was a 6th grader, and I loved zombies. I loved school. I thought to myself, “Why not combine both?” So there I was, scribbling in my Hello Kitty notebook about a zombie outbreak. The plot was about how students would cope in a school setting. I was not creative, the characters were my classmates. I wrote their suffering, I wrote their grief. I killed my classmates. I do not recommend killing your classmates, but I do recommend writing about your zombie fantasies. My story was so good, my classmates read them! They were not so flattered reading about their detailed deaths. Definitely, it was original. The plot has neve been done before. I was the first one. I was optimistic, until I realized I was not so original after all. Thanks, “All of Us Are Dead!”
The following year, I would start junior high school. I wanted a new start. I moved to Japan. I abandoned my zombie story. I started writing other stories such as romance and slice of life. They were one page stories. With this, I also practiced my handwriting. If you think it is still bad now, think about how worse it was back in 2017. Even I cannot read it anymore. Literal chicken scratch. It helped with my creativity, not so sure with my style in general. I was struggling!
Year 2018, I published interactive stories on Twitter. I thought many would want to read and see. That was not the case! My stories were poorly written, with many inconsistencies and plot holes. Here, I realized my stories were less than entertaining. It felt like a chore to read. It was wordy, it was horrible. I lost motivation and just decided to start a journal. I have always loved the feeling of the pen gliding across the paper. I would always feel at ease. This went on until 2019. There was even a time when I made my own journal. Yes, I compiled, sowed, and wrote in my own journal. I loved writing in it so much, I finished it in two months.
Then the pandemic hit. I used this time to actually think about what I want to do. I loved writing, but the type of writing I did was not for me. Over the years, I realized that fiction was not for me. I realized that I preferred pen and paper rather than a keyboard. I realized that I loved writing letters for the people I care about, I realized that journaling was the type of writing for me. I realized that I cannot write straight without a guide. Wow, that was a lot of realizing!
Now, I only keep a notebook to write my thoughts in, I do not use it daily. I invite others to write their day instead. It is also nice to know what my friends think of me. I use writing to keep memories. It is not perfect, nor does it have to be, It will be just for my eyes only, like a little time capsule, Wherever I go, however old I get, I know that I can always go back and reread that time I tripped in street full of people back in September 15, 2018. Embarrassing, I know, But that is the charm in my journals. And I will continue to embarrass myself, all because I started writing about zombies.
