#mod aaa

[syscest]

the biggest plural problem we ever had was feeling like we HAD to figure out how to be able to talk to eachother to finally be a properly functional system, so much so that we never realised that we weren't listening.

[syscest]

Hey uh, not sure if there's anything to elaborate on wrt the "wanting to be plural is a symptom of being plural" post, but is that true? Because I've been avoiding that possibility, if only because I've been so sure that it isn't a possibility. I don't really know what I'm saying here it's just, could that post really be true?

So we thought we were the only ones selling this kind of perspective to people, but recently pluralrespect on neocities (which we already liked re: intrasys relationships) started including something similar, but with more structure.

It breaks down like this: Singlets choose to interpret their personal experiences as being one person. It gets privileged as the default because that's how we're socialised, but a (usually unconscious) choice is being made to view all their experiences - including kinda plural-coded stuff like code switching, masking, genderfluidity, weird dreams, varying vibes day-on-day, internal conflict, etc - as representing a singular identity.

There are also a lot of people who's experiences can't realistically be interpreted singletwise - folks that experience switches with totally separate memory is an extreme example. The plural explanation is the only thing that makes any sense of it at all.

This creates this big grey area that encompasses all those interpreted-singlets with kinda-plural experiences, and those interpreted-plurals who could reasonably interpret themselves as singlets (again) if they wanted to. Within this grey area, you have the wiggle room to observe your personal experiences, and conceptualise your identity one way, or the other way.

One of those ways might feel more "right" to you, more sensical, more comfortable, safer - so in that sense, yeah. wanting to be plural is a symptom of being plural. Fantasising about what it would be like to understand yourself in the other way is probably a sign that you should try it - see how thinking of yourself that way feels, just for a day or whatever. If it's too weird, go back. If not, keep going.

Now, letting yourself have an open mind may invite experiences that make a singlet interpretation less sensible - so only test the waters if both possible conclusions are safe for you to have. Outside of that, you can always change your mind - so, give it a shot.

[syscest]

thank you for the link to sysguide, i learned a lot. do you have any advice for how to try developing internal communication?

don't!

no, really, if you can't speak to eachother, then don't force it. embrace what you can control. be yourselves loudly, think about eachother, speak about eachother to other people, muse on eachothers' interests. be willing to form your intrasystem relationships without verbal contact.

[syscest]

Just system problems: trying to bust a nut but the alter who is disgusted by the exact stuff you are into keeps coming into front and ruining the mood. Sorta like the "Isn't there someone you forgot to ask?" meme.

[syscest]

hi im assuming the us vs them post is about a specific term, which one would that be?

so the sysmed out-group term being referenced in the joke post was (as the reblogs guessed) "endogenic", and I'll lay our thoughts out straight just once to avoid being potentially taken the wrong way

I've got two angles here, existential theological linguistic bullshit, and harm-reduction. stay with me here because even if you're not on board with the first thing you'll want to see the second.

so "traumagenic vs endogenic" is a false dichotomy, and I don't just mean "there's a secret third thing", I mean both classifications are fundamentally not real.

personally? we haven't the foggiest idea why we're a system. but the thing is, I don't think anybody else does either - I think it's genuinely impossible to know why your own consciousness is behind your own eyes and controlling your own body, why you *experience* existing in first-person at all. Like shit, lots of singlets believe it's because a soul has been created or introduced to their flesh, and a bunch of others think that's a load of crap and the chemicals just *do this* on their own. Singlets get this unalienable right to believe whatever the hell they want about why they're experiencing being themselves all the damn time, and I refuse to believe that systems are uniquely special in a way that singlets are not such that anyone can fucking flawlessly divine the cause of our consciousness all of a sudden. These are existential-tier questions and to deny their impossible complexity and the right to self-belief over them is, in my eyes, to deny systems something many singlets feel is part of what makes them human.

You can believe all sorts of stuff about the nature of your own systemhood just like how you can believe all sorts of stuff about the nature of your own existence - that doesn't make you definitively right, it's just a meaningful mechanism through which you understand your own experiences that other people should respect - it's like any faith, go figure.

Frustratingly, these words - traumagenic, endogenic - they're not talking about belief, they're objective buckets actively being used for exclusion. So every time we use the term "traumagenic systems", in saying "systems that objectively exist because of trauma" we are saying, loudly, "it is possible to know why a system exists". and frankly? no the fuck it isn't.

Anyway that's airy bullshit and reflects very idealised interactions so - practical, realist opinions, and harm reduction:

Saying "I'm pro-endo" is a net good, though I think "I support all systems" is probably marginally better because it doesn't perpetuate categories pushed by sysmeds for exclusionary reasons as being essential to defining systemhood - as we joked about.

Contrastingly, self-declaring "traumagenic" or "endogenic" in a bio is a net bad. Saying "I'm a traumagenic system" also says "Hello sysmeds, I believe in your dichotomy and I'm one of the good ones" (great way to get sysmed followers), and that factor doesn't go away if you go on to say that you support all systems - you've already thrown away your opportunity to shield more vulnerable systems from harassment through making who sysmeds need to target more obscure.

In fact, regardless of whether your bio says to sysmeds "I am a target" or "I'm not a target", by saying it explicitly, you're pressuring other, more vulnerable systems to similarly self-declare. It's like cis people putting pronouns in their bio to shield trans people from harassment through obscurity and embarrassment, but in reverse - if you shut up about it, and *just* call yourself a plural system, even if you do believe in their categorisations, you stop the propogation of the self-labelling and exclusionists are forced to make themselves look like idiots because most of their harassment would have to be done at random. It's basically herd immunity - nobody talks, everybody walks.

anyway yeah there's context for future, though honestly the section in plural respect is a lot more succinct lmao

[syscest]

I don't know if I'm plural or not but I really wanna be. Sometimes I feel like I'm completely faking it but other times it just comes so naturally that I feel like I couldn't be any other way. I'm worried this is just me wanting the companionship and enrichment of being multiple and my brain's plasticity trying to adapt to that.

For some amount of context, I was emotionally abused a bit as a child and no other me stepped in to help or to shoulder the burdern even though I always wanted it.

I'm worried I've just gotten so used to roleplaying as an escape that my mind is now trying to role-play as plural to shirk some of my responsibilities and stress. And I want to be plural so bad that I'm going along with it.

What the fuck do I do in this situation?

ohhhh anon. anon. does it really matter?

does any of that really matter?

are desire and relief not immensely sensible reasons to embrace your plurality? is gender euphoria not an immensely sensible reason to embrace transgressing assigned gender?

most singlets are afraid of sharing their body, or being different day-on-day - is this not a desire for singlethood? do we not all exist in conversation with our experiences? and shape their interpretation and our self-conceptions through desires like these?

do many singlets not enjoy and find comfort within their own company? why is this different? do those who best understand this comfort through the lens of multiple selves not deserve the same? can it really be wrong for them to want the same?

is it wrong to find yourselves through hardship? is it wrong to find yourselves through joy? is it just wrong to find yourselves at all?

maybe it doesn't feel like you've "earned" that yet?

there's nothing to earn, anon. we all deserve peace with ourselves, whoever we find it as. and in that sense, there is nothing exceptional about you at all. let what works for you work for you. nothing else matters.

[syscest]

[has any social interaction] I have got to get more plural

[syscest]

sometimes i worry that i mightve accidentally forcepluralled myself by smoking weed too often 😭

that definitely happened anon. 100% for sure. it's not called meed now is it