(It's an avocado... thanks!)
To Kiibo, Izuru and Kaito
I've been so stressed lately. I promised myself that I'd come out to my parents as transgender at the end of the school year (i'm ftm going by he/they) but now that it's getting closer I feel like there's a time bomb about to go off. I've been having constant panic attacks just thinking about telling them. I've lost contact with my online friends because I'm not allowed to have discord anymore, I feel alone. I'm starting to hate my body and myself more and more, and I wish I was more masculine. I just want a hug and some reassurance, I'm sorry if I'm bothering you all.
What's up bro!! You kinda sound familiar, just saying. Anyways, I'm really sorry to hear that you're stressed, let me see if I can do anything to help! Setting goals for yourself is good, so it's awesome that you did that. Yeah, actually going through with things you set goals for is a lot harder than a lot of people think, and for something as big as coming out, no wonder you're stressed! I promise you there's no time bomb. Coming out is seriously scary, especially if you don't have a good support system at home. Are you safe coming out? Are people at your home going to treat you nicely enough for you to be safe? Do you have the emotional strength to take anything they might throw at you? Not everyone's in a good place to come out sadly, and it's totally ok to put off doing it until you feel safe enough to do it. If you're having panic attacks, it's seriously ok to drop the idea of coming out for a bit until you feel more ready. Seriously bro, you don't have to push yourself. This sounds like it's seriously freaking you out, and you shouldn't force yourself into something that's making you this nervous. If just thinking about it is that hard for you, then I think it's a good idea to take a step back. There's seriously no pressure to come out. You'll know when you're ready, I promise.
Man, I'm sorry to hear that you lost contact with your friends. Is it possible for you to make a different discord account or use a different device? I promise your friends haven't forgotten you at all. Even if you're separated from them right now, they still care about you and think about you all the time. Hopefully one day you'll be able to go back on the platform, and when you do, I'm sure they'll all be there ready to welcome you back! I promise you you're not alone, and I'm sorry you're feeling so isolated. I promise you're not alone, you have people that care about you no matter what. I'm sorry you're feeling that way about your body. I know you can't make the changes you want to, and that's not your fault. You might have to hang in there until you're in a place in life where you can make the changes safely. For now, see if you can wear more baggy clothes and pants, that might help a little.
Trust me bro, you're masculine enough. You're just as masculine as me, no matter what, got it? You'll be able to make the changes you want to some day, I promise. Hey, you're not bothering at all!! Seriously, I'm happy to help. Hell yeah you can get a hug!! I'm always down to help a fellow man out! You're amazing bro, and masculine, and cared about. Don't forget that ok!
So you have been locked away from online communication with those dear to you, all while heavily struggling as a trans person? If my analysis skills are correct, in which case, they are. I know who I am speaking to. I must say, it is relieving to hear from you once again. I may even feel the slightest hint of joy that you have come back to us in some way.
You are not forgotten. That much I can assure you. We still remember you. I understand that your fear is growing with every passing day. All the more reason to muster the courage needed to come out. I ask of you to abandon your fright and stand upright and bravely come out when that eventful day comes.
Momota claims to be a man, but often tends to get sick. I am the peak of manhood, you were wise to come to me for help. I hope we hear from you again soon, and that you build your own future. One of your own will. ----------------------------------------------------------------- Yes, I as well find a sense of familiarity with this particular ask, but in a fond way. It is nice to see you again, even if we haven’t talked much as of late due to your situation. I would first like to say that I’m really proud of you for making this goal, Anon. I know it must be really hard to even consider coming out in the first place, and let alone by a certain time limit. While you are awfully brave for making this decision in the first place, I also don’t wish for you to pressure yourself throughout this. Coming out is something that is very personal, and it’s best to do it when you’re most comfortable with doing so. Forcing yourself to do it within a certain timeframe is only going to make you more stressed. and based off of what I’ve heard, that.. doesn’t seem healthy, with the panic attacks and all. (For those, I would recommend breathing exercises and/or medication to at least relieve some of the anxiety.)
But, please ensure that you are safe with your parents before anything. I don’t want to scare you, but if it’s not safe to tell them yet... I wouldn’t recommend it until much later, when you’re able to live in a safe environment by yourself. You really don’t deserve to be hurt physically or emotional by any of this, let alone by your own parents if they’re unaccepting...
But listen, no matter what, you are masculine, you are a real boy, and you deserve to express yourself in the most comfortable way possible. From my perspective, gender itself is a social construct, and it’s honestly mostly about how one feels inside. Based on your words on multiple occasions and the statements from beforehand, I know for a fact that you are one of the most “manly” and valid people that I am aware of.
Onto your discord friends, I am sure that they miss you just as much as you miss them. From what my Inner Voice is telling me, I understand that you and your comrades were very close to one another. Nevertheless, you are not alone, and you never will be. You were able to contact us via an account on Tumblr, yes? Perhaps you can reconcile with some of them on this website, that could at least help you feel less alone to an extent. //Mun here, if I am talking to who I think I’m talking to, my DMs are always open for when you need it my guy, :).//
Before I go, I would like to say that you weren’t bothering any of us with this ask at any means. You’re not a bother to any of us, and we’re more than welcome to address your concerned. And yes, of course you can have a hug from myself as well. It’s not everyday that you get to hug the Ultimate Robot after all! As both Kaito and Izuru said, I am more than sure that you are an amazing person, and that you’re more than worthy of respect. Above all, please remember that, and I hope that all goes well one way or another. Farewell, Anon.
