How to Reach Out to a Radqueer:
Hi. Welcome back to our blog. We have a lot of things to say in this regard, since we are alters who were radqueer and have some radqueer alters who are in active recovery (who will have the chance to talk here from their perspective). I’m one of the no-nonsense bitches here in the Guild, so there is a bit of foul language but valuable advice.
So, here’s my guide (or more like advice) to reach out to a radqueer.
Step 1: Don’t harass radqueers, nor go after them on a witch hunt.
This is the BIGGEST piece of advice I can give. These people are groomed, but at some point they will realize on their own something is up. Loopholes in their own narrative pop out every time, but they must have to realize that something is wrong with themselves. Do not force them to believe what you believe in. And, BY NO MEANS send harassment to them. You’re trying to help, not drive them further. Harassing or insulting them is counterproductive, and basically an asshole move to any victim.
Step 2: Allow them to speak up. Let them vent and cry.
Not as an edgy or weird thing. They NEED to speak up and talk about how they feel. Remember: radqueers prey on vulnerable people. 90% of the individuals involved are, in fact, people whose insecurities and lack of community were used against them. In order to make a radqueer feel safe, they must feel safe to speak about what they feel in regards to their identity.
While doing this, make sure not to judge. Many people in the community get abused, hurt and so on. They will have scary thoughts and heavy topics when it comes to talking about them. Don't point fingers; listen carefully and approach them in an understanding manner, and always be kind and careful with your words. Respect that they may even be a minority that impacts the reason why they choose to be radqueer— whether that is a disability, mental illness, ethnicity or multiple of these.
Step 3: Talk to them. Let them know you're there for them.
That's pretty much the step. Comforting people is honestly my bane as an alter, but the ones who do have told me a few things in this regard. I'll put them on a bullet list below:
Be kind: These people deserve kindness just like any other. Matter of fact, a big chunk of the people who joined the radqueer community did so because of lack of kindness. Always talk to them with softness: "Is there anything we can do? How are you feeling?"
Offer affection: I recommend you not to share your DMs as an open space unless you feel confident enough to do so, but 100% offer any form of care to them. Let them know you’re there. With words AND actions. Not even those asterisks RP things. Show them the care.
Give words of courage and positivity: Absolutely give them all the nice words you can. Let them know that you value them. After all, radqueers make them feel like no one outside their own group will support them. Let them know you care for them, that they deserve good things. Always.
Step 4: Discourse comes later. Meet them first.
Have them know you first. Have yourself know them first, as well. Allow them to give them the chance to understand with YOUR actions that they’re safe. Discourse and radqueer discussions must come later.
Remember that they deserve to have a space to be themselves.
Step 5: Inform. Don’t correct.
This is when it gets messy, because one thing is stating facts and the other is going further and trying to convert them. We want to approach to them to inform, not to change them right off the bat.
The information given must be accurate and directly from victims, minorities and so on. Or at least based on these evidences. We cannot focus on morality entirely, there must be at least some socioscientific evidence for this. Whether that is an interview, a documentary, or even the voice of other ex-radqueers.
Similarly, always source yourself from minorities. Not just trans or queer people; POC people, actual paraphiles, mentally ill people and professionals are the most crucial sources for these. Google Scholar is, in the same manner, a great source of info.
Step 6: Nothing. Let them make the choice themselves.
This is unfortunate, and at the end of the day they will choose what to do on their own. If they decide to leave, that’s fine. But if they don’t, we cannot do much. We gave the information out and educated them. That’s all that matters.
Important details
Make sure to be extremely careful managing the information and vents. These carry sensitive material that could become dangerous if badly managed (namely vents and personal info).
DO NOT COMMIT A CRIME. You know what I mean. Do not harass, suicide bait or dox any individual. That would not be only disrespectful, but also dangerous to you and the victims involved. It will make matters worse.
Always source your information. Experiences might be helpful, but there is more than just spoken words. I have yet to give a quick check on Scholar for evidence, but we will do a master list for them.
Do not invalidate their experiences. Instead, inform them the damage or their ideology while also respecting what their feelings and thought processes are.
Do not force, just inform.
These are not perfect, but these definitely are a chunk of things we wished that happened before meeting our current friends. Remember that not everyone will agree, but what matters is that you educated them.
