#mod ripley

[shitty-mechs-headcannons]

One Halloween as its costume the Toy Soldier just replaced their head with a Jack O' Lantern. We don't know if it forgot or if it did it on purpose, but it had the pumpkin head for several years. It never rotted.

[god-tier-aesthetics]

rogue of space for anon!

[shitty-mechs-headcannons]

Tim once stole everyone's genders. Literally. To this day no one is quite sure how or why, but for a solid week no one had any gender except Tim, who had twelve.

No one is willing to admit that it was a pretty good prank.

there are only nine Mechs (ten if you include doctor Carmilla) then how did he get twelve??? Where did the other two genders come from?????

-mod ripley

[shitty-mechs-headcannons]

Idk if this account is still active or not but consider: Toy Soldier as a horse girl

Agreed. It has dozens of little toy horses that it hides around the Aurora

-mod ripley

[shitty-mechs-headcannons]

thots on the toy soldier

Those are termites

-mod ripley

[shitty-mechs-headcannons]

So, when Ashes says that the reason they have so much gold is "tax purposes," I 100% believe that they needed to accumulate enough wealth per year in order to qualify for spaxes (space taxes). Why, you ask, would Ashes want to have to pay spaxes?? Well, to have something to evade, of course.

Of course, this seems like solid reasoning.

-mod ripley

[shitty-mechs-headcannons]

TS can't pass captcha tests so it waddles up to Jonny and guilt trips him into doing them for it

It WADDLES

-Mod Ripley

[shitty-mechs-headcannons]

one time nastya prank called tim on jonny’s phone. it basically went like this:

(nastya calls tim)

nastya: [incredibly realistic shart noises. how is she doing this?]

tim: jonny? what the fuck?

nastya: [opens a door] [in normal voice] HOLY FUCKING SHIT JONNY

nastya: [a+ impression of jonny screaming]

nastya: hangs up

tim receives no context to this until one day he mentions to jonny ‘hey remember that time u accidentally called me whilst shitting and nastya walked in on you?’ and jonnys like ‘the fuck tim’ n nastya hears and bursts out laughing. she gets shot several times.